what is your modus operandi in Canada?" inquired Dr. Whately. "When I meet a native," replied the missionary, "I pat him on the head, sometimes on the back, and, while I administer to him a soothing plug of tobacco, I gently instil the truths of revelation." "Yes," replied the archbishop, aptly quoting from the "Art of Poetry" of Horace, "Ex fumo dare lucem'" (" bringing light out of smoke").

Horse-Power.

A man directed Archbishop Whately's attention to a valuable draught-horse, as sagacious as he was powerful. "There is nothing," said the horsedealer, "which he cannot draw." "Can he draw an inference?" inquired Dr. Whately.

NOTE. This is attributed to Whately on the authority of his biographer, Mr. Fitzpatrick, but it is more probably an old-time English university joke.

Not Well.

Speaking of

some one said,

"He is to

"With

Dickens what Boswell was to Johnson."

this difference," replied Jerrold, "that doesn't do Boz well."

NOTE.--As the person referred to can only have been Forster, the pun must be of later date than Jerrold.

A Pretty Reply.

Lord Melbourne, inspecting the kitchen of the Reform Club, jocosely remarked to Alexis Soyer, chef de cuisine, that his female assistants were all very pretty. Yes, my lord," replied Soyer; "plain cooks will not do here.

A Striking Point.

When Mr. Gulley, the ex-pugilist, was elected member for Pontefract, Gilbert A'Becket said, "Should any opposition be manifested in the House of Commons towards Mr. Gulley, it is very probable the noes [nose] will have it."

A Bill and No Bill.

Gilbert A'Becket said that the friends and opponents of the Reform Bill were divided into two distinct classes, the a-bility and the no-bility.

Cash Payments.

Peterson, the comedian, lent a brother actor two shillings, and when he made a demand for the sum the debtor, turning peevishly from him, said, "Hang it! I'll pay you to-day in some shape or other." Peterson good-humoredly replied, "I

shall be much obliged to you, Tom, to let it be as like two shillings as you can."

An Untaxed Luxury.

A lady having remarked in company that she thought there should be a tax on "the single state,' ," "Yes, madam," rejoined an obstinate old bachelor, 66 as on all other luxuries."

A Seated Complaint.

Theodore Hook, after holding an official position at Mauritius, returned suddenly to England under a suspicion of peculation. A friend meeting him said, "Why, halloo, Hook! I did not know you were in England. What has brought you back again?" "Something wrong about the chest," replied the imperturbable wit.

Adroitly Turned.

Horace Twiss, when beginning to make his way in London society, stood one night in the crushroom of the opera, close to Lady L., who was waiting for her carriage. A man he was with saying, "Look at that fat Lady L.; isn't she like a great white cabbage?" "Yes," answered Hor

ace, in a discreetly loud tone, "she is like one,— all heart, I believe."

Not Applicable to the Case.

A man very deeply in debt being reprimanded by his friends for his disgraceful situation, and the anxiety of a debtor being urged by them in very strong expressions, "Ah!" said he, "that may be the case with a person who thinks of paying."

Too True.

A lady was asked by her friends if she really intended to marry Mr. who was a good kind of a man, but so very singular. "Well," replied the lady, "if he is very much unlike other men, he is more likely to make a good husband."

An Anomaly.

Mrs. Tompkison, the wife of a rich manufacturer who was also known as an intelligent and liberal art patron, was once sitting with some ladies in the drawing-room, discussing the gentlemen whom they had left at the dinner-table. One of these had made himself very disagreeable by his pretentious bearing and taciturnity. Mrs. Tompkison was asked her opinion of this in

dividual.

Why," she said, quietly, "he seems to me to be an anomaly in natural philosophy,gravity without attraction."

Spare Room.

A Scotch preacher being sent to officiate one Sunday at a country parish was accommodated at night in the manse in a very diminutive closet, instead of the usual best bedroom appropriated to strangers. "Is this the bedroom?" he said, starting back in amazement. "'Deed, ay, sir;

this is the prophet's chamber."

"It must be for

the minor prophets, then," said the discomfited

parson.

Nothing Personal.

At a dinner-party one day, a certain knight, whose character was considered to be not altogether unexceptionable, said he would give them a toast, and, looking hard in the face of Mrs. M who was more celebrated for wit than

beauty, gave "Honest men an' bonny lasses!" "With all my heart, Sir John," said Mrs. M"for it applies neither to you nor me."