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pearances for hypocrisy in others : so that I believe no men see less of the truth and reality of things than these great refiners
upon incidents, who are so wonderfully subtle and over-wise in their conceptions.
Now what these men fancy they know of women by reflection, your lewd and vicious men believe they have learn. ed by experience. They have seen the poor husband so misled by tricks and artifices, and in the midst of his inquiries so lost and bewildered in a crooked intrigue, that they still suspect an under plot in every female action; and especially where they see any resemblance in the be. haviour of two persons, are apt to fancy it proceeds from the same design in both. These men, therefore, bear hard upon the suspected party, pursue her close through all her turnings and windings, and are too well acquainted with the chace, to be flung off by any false steps or doubles ; beside, their acquaintance and conversation has lain wholly among the vicious part of womankind, and therefore it is no wonder they censure all alike, and look upon the whole sex as a species of impostors. But if, notwithstanding their private experience, they can get over these prejudi. ces, and entertain a favourable opinion of some women; yet their own loose desires will stir up new suspicions from another side, and make them believe all men subject to the same inclinations with themselves.
After this frightful account of jealousy, and the persons who are most subject to it, it will be but fair to show by what means the passion may be best allayed, and those who are possessed with it set at ease. Other faults in deed are not under the wife's jurisdiction, and should, if possible, escape her observation ; but jealousy calls upon her particularly for its cure, and deserves all her art and application in the attempt ; besides, she has this for her encouragement, that her endeavours will be always pleasing, and that she will still find the affection of her hus. band rising towards her, in proportion as his doubts and suspicions vanish; for, as we have seen all along, there is so great a mixture of love in jealousy, as is well worth the separating
JEALOUSY, HOW TO BE ALLAYED.
Credula res amor est.
The man who loves is easy of belief.
HAVING in my last paper discovered the nature of jea. lousy, and pointed out the persons who are most subject to it, I must here apply myself to those ladies who desire to live well with a jealous husband, and to ease his mind of its unjust suspicions.
The first rule I shall propose to be observed is, that you never seem to dislike in another what the jealous man is himself guilty of, or to admire any thing in which he does not himself excel. A jealous man is very quick in his applications ; he knows how to find a double edge in an invective, and to draw a satire on himself out of a panegyric
another. He does not trouble himself to consider the person, but to direct the character ; and is secretly pleased or confounded as he finds more or less of himself in it. The commendation of any thing in another stirs up his jealousy, as it shows you have a value for others besides himself; but the commendation of that which he himself wants, inflames him more, as it shows that in some respects you prefer others before him. Jealousy is admirably de scribed in this view by Horace in his ode to Lydia.
Quam tu, Lydia, Telephi
Cervicem roseam, aut cerea Telephi
Fervens difficili bile tument jecur :
Certa sede manet : humor et in genas
Quam lentis penitus macerer ignibus.
When TELEPHEUS his youthful charms,
The jealous man is not indeed angry
dislike another ; but if you find those faults which are to be found in his own character, you discover not only your dislike of another, but of himself. In short, he is so desirous of en. grossing all your love, that he is grieved at the want of any charm, which he believes has power to raise it; and if he finds by your censures on others, that he is not so agreeable in your opinion as he might be, he naturally concludes you could love him better if he had other qualifications, and that by consequence your affection does not rise so high as he thinks it ought. If therefore his temper be grave or sullen, you must not be too much pleased with a jest, or transported with any thing that is gay and diverting. If his beauty be none of the best, you must be a professed admirer of prudence or any other quality he is master of, or at least vain enough to think he is.
In the next place, you must be sure to be free and open in your conversation with him, and to let in light upon your actions to unravel all your designs, and discover every secret, however trifling or indifferent. A jealous husband has a particular aversion to winks and whispers, and if he does not see to the bottom of every thing, will be sure to go beyond it in his fears and suspicions. He will always expect to be your chief confidant, and where he finds himself kept out of a secret, will believe there is more in it than there should be. And here it is of great concern, that you preserve the character of your sincerity uniform and of a piece ; for if he once finds a false gloss put upon any single action, he quickly suspects all the rest ; his working ima. gination immediately takes a false hint, and runs off with it into several remote consequences, till he has proved very ingenious in working out his own misery.
If both these methods fail, the best way will be, to let him see you are much cast down and afflicted for the ill opinion he entertains of you, and the disquietudes he himself suffers for
your sake. There are many who take a kind of bar. barous pleasure in the jealousy of those who love them, that nsult over an aching heart, and triumph in the charms which are able to excite so much uneasiness.
Ardeat ipsa licet, tormentis gaudet amantis.
Though equal pains her peace of mind destroy,
But these often carry the humour so far, till their affected coldpess and indifference quite kills all the fondness of a lover, and are then sure to meet in their turn with all the contempt and scorn that is due to so insolent a behaviour. On the contrary, it is very probable, a melancholy, dejected carriage, the usual effect of injured innocence, may soften the jealous husband to pity, make him sensible of the wrong he does you, and works out of his mind all those fears and suspicions that make you both unhappy. At least it will have this good effect, that he will keep his jealousy to him self, and repine in private; either because he is sensible it is a weakness, and will therefore hide it from your know. ledge, or because he will be apt to fear some ill effect it may produce, in cooling your love towards him, or diverting it to another. There is still another secret that can never fail, if you