ed to be made lighter by it; must, however unwillingly, be yet acknowledged.

It is to be considered, to what causes effects so unexpected and unpleasing, so contrary to the end of the institution, and so unlikely to arise from it, are to be attributed. It is necessary to inquire, whether those who are thus unhappy, are to impute their misery to any other cause than their own folly, and to the neglect of those duties which prudence and religion equally require.

That nothing but vice or folly obstructs the happiness of a married life, may be made evident by examining,

First, The nature and end of marriage.

Secondly, The means by which that end is to be attained.

First, The nature and end of marriage.

The vow of marriage may be considered as a vow of perpetual and indissoluble friendship; friendship which no change of fortune, nor any alteration of external circumstances, can be allowed to interrupt or weaken. After the commencement of this state there remain no longer any sepa rate interests; the two individuals become united, and are therefore to enjoy the same felicity, and suffer the same misfortunes; to have the same friends and the same enemies, the same success and the same disappointments.

It has long been observed, that friendship is to be confined to one, or that, to use the words of the axiom, he that hath friends, hath no friend. That ardour of kindness, that unbounded confidence, that unsuspecting security, which friendship requires, cannot be extended beyond a single object. A divided affection may be termed benevolence, but can hardly rise to friendship; for the narrow limits of the human mind allow it not intensely to contemplate more than one idea.

It is remarked, that friendship amongst equals is the most lasting; and perhaps there are few causes to which more unhappy marriages are to be ascribed, than a disproportion

between the original condition of the two persons.

Differ. ence of condition makes difference of education; and difference of education produces differences of habits, sentiments, and inclinations. Thence arise contrary views, and opposite schemes, of which the frequent though not necessary consequences are, debates, disgust, alienation, and settled hatred.

Strict friendship is to have the same desires and aversions. Whoever is to choose a friend is to consider first the resemblance, or the dissimilitude of tempers. How necessary this caution is to be urged as preparatory to marriage, the misery of those who neglect it sufficiently evinces. To enumerate all the varieties of disposition, to which it may on this occasion be convenient to attend, would be a tedious task; but it is at least proper to enforce on this head one precept, which was never yet broken without fatal consequences: Let the religion of the man and the woman be the same. How can he be happy, who sees the person most dear to him in a state of dangerous error, and ignorant of those sacred truths, which are necessary to the approbation of God, and to future felicity? If they previously stipulate for the free enjoyment of their own opinion; the education of children will soon make it necessary to determine, which of the two opinions shall be transmitted to their posterity; and how can either consent to train up in error and delusion those from whom they expect the highest satisfactions, and the only comforts of declining life?

On account of this conformity of notions it is, that equality of condition is chiefly eligible; for as friendship, so marriage, either finds or makes an equality. No disadvantage of birth or fortune ought to impede the exaltation of virtue and wisdom; for with marriage begins union, and union obliterates all distinctions. It may indeed become the person who received the benefit, to remember it, that gratitude may heighten affection; but the person who conferred it ought to forget it, because, if it was deserved, it cannot be

mentioned without injustice, nor if undeserved, without imprudence. All reproaches of this kind must be either retractions of a good action, or proclamations of our own weakness.

nant.

Friends, says the proverbial observation, have every thing in common. This is likewise implied in the marriage coveMatrimony admits of no separate possessions, nor incommunicable interests. This rule, like all others, has been often broken by low views and sordid stipulations; but, like all other precepts, founded on reason and truth, it has received a new confirmation from almost every breach of it; and those parents, whose age had no better effect upon their understanding, than to fill them with avarice and stratagem, have brought misery and ruin on their children, by the means which they weakly imagined conducive to their happiness.

There is yet another precept equally relating to friend. ship and to marriage; a precept which, in either case, can never be too strongly inculcated, or too scrupulously observed: contract friendship only with the good. Virtue is the first quality to be considered in the choice of a friend, and yet more in a fixed and irrevocable choice. This maxim surely requires no comment, nor any vindication; it is equally clear and certain, obvious to the superficial, and incontestable by the most accurate examiner. To dwell upon it is therefore superfluous; for, though often neglected, it never was denied. Every man will, without hesitation, confess, that it is absurd to trust a known deceiver, or voluntarily to depend for quiet and happiness upon insolence, cruelty, and oppression. Thus marriage appears to differ from friendship chiefly in the degree of its efficacy, and the authority of its institution. It was appointed by God himself, as necessary to happiness, even in a state of innocence; and the relation produced by it was declared more powerful than that of birth. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife. But

as not withstanding its conformity to human nature, it sometimes fails to produce the effects intended, it is necessary to inquire,

Secondly, By what means the end of marriage is to be attained.

As it appears, by examining the natural system of the universe, that the greatest and the smallest bodies are invested with the same properties, and moved by the same laws; so a survey of the moral world will inform us, that greater or less societies are to be made happy by the same means; and that however relations may be varied, or circumstances changed, virtue, and virtue alone, is the parent of felicity. We can only, in whatever state we may be placed, secure ourselves from disquiet and from misery, by a Without this, it is resolute attention to truth and reason.

in vain that a man chooses a friend, or cleaves to a wife. If passion be suffered to prevail over right, and the duties of our state are broken through, or neglected, for the sake of gratifying our anger, our pride, or our revenge, the union of hearts will quickly be dissolved, and kindness will give way to resentment and aversion.

The duties, by the practice of which a married life is to be made happy, are the same with those of friendship, but exalted to higher perfection. Love must be more ardent, and confidence without limits. It is therefore necessary on each part to deserve that confidence by the most unshaken fidelity, and to preserve their love unextinguished by continual acts of tenderness; not only to detest all real, but seeming offences; and to avoid suspicion and guilt, with almost equal solicitude.

But since the frailty of our nature is such, that we cannot hope from each other an unvaried. rectitude of conduct, or an uninterrupted course of wisdom or virtue; as folly will sometimes intrude upon an unguarded hour; and temptations, by frequent attacks, will sometimes prevail; one of the chief acts of love is, readily to forgive er

the calm moments of recollection silently expected. For if one offence be made a plea for another; if anger be to be opposed with anger, and reproach retorted for reproach, either the contest must be continued for ever, or one must at last, be obliged by violence to do what might have been at first done, not only more gracefully, but with more advantage.

Religion, which subdues every baneful appetite and passion, and inspires the most sincere affection towards the friend of our bosom, is then the basis of happiness, and the operating power which makes every good institution valid and efficacious. And he who shall attempt to attain happiness by the means which God has ordained, shall surely find the highest degree of satisfaction that our present state allows, if, in his choice, he pays the first regard to virtue, and regu, lates his conduct by the precepts of religion.