numbers. Away, go; they say, there is divinity in odd numbers, either in nativity, chance, or death. - Away. Quick. I'll provide you a chain; and I'll do what I can to get you a pair of horns. parts: be pold,I pray you; follow me into the pit, and Fal. Away, I say; time wears: hold up your head, SCENE V.- Another part of the Park. and mince! [Exit Mrs Quickly. Enter FALSTAFF disguised, with a buck's head on. Enter FORD. Fal. The Windsor bell hath struck twelve; the miHow now, master Brook ?Master Brook, the matter will nute draws on. Now, the hot-blooded gods assist me! be known to-night, or never. Be you in the park about-Remember, Jove, thou wast a bull for thy Europa; midnight, atHernes' oak, and you shall see wonders. Ford. Went you not to her yesterday, sir, as you told me you had appointed? love set on thy horns.-O,powerful love! that,in some respects, makes a beast a man; in some other, a man a beast.-You were also, Jupiter, a swan, for the love Fal. I went to her, master Brook, as you see, like a of Leda;-0, omnipotent love! how near the god drew poor old man: but I came from her, master Brook, like to the complexion of a goose! A fault done first in apoor old woman. That same knave, her husband, hath the form of a beast ;-0, Jove,a beastly fault! and then the finest mad devil of jealousy in him, master Brook, another fault in the semblance of a fowl; think on't, that ever governed frenzy. I will tell you.-He beat me Jove; a foul fault. When gods have hot backs, what grievously, in the shape of a woman; for in the shape shall poor men do ? For me, I am here a Windsor stag, of man,master Brook,İ fear not Goliath with a weaver's and the fattest, I think, i' the forest: send me a cool beam; because I know also, life is a shuttle. I am in rut-time,Jove, or who can blame me to piss my tallow? haste; go along with me; I'll tell you all, master Brook.-Who comes here? my doe? Since I plucked geese, played truant, and whipped top, I knew not what it was to be beaten, till lately. Follow me: I'll tell you strange things of this knave Ford; on whom to-night I will be revenged, and I will deliver his wife into your hand.-Follow; strange things in hand, niaster Brook! follow. [Exeunt. Shal. That's good too: but what needs either your mum, or her budget? the white will decipher her well enough. It hath struck ten o'clock. Page. The night is dark; light and spirits will become it well. Heaven prosper our sport! No man means evil but the devil,and we shall know him by his horns. Let's away; follow me! [Exeunt. SCENE III.-The street in Windsor. Enter Mrs PAGE, Mrs FORD, and Dr CAIUS. Mrs Page. Master doctor, my daughter is in green: when you see your time, take her by the hand, away with her to the deanery, and despatch it quickly! Go before into the park; we two must go together. Caius. Iknew vat I have to do; adieu! Mrs Page. Fare you well, sir. [Exit Caius.]-My husband will not rejoice so much at the abuse of Falstaff, as he will chafe at the doctor's marrying my daughter: but 'tis no matter; better a little chiding, than a great deal of heartbreak. Mrs Ford. Where is Nan now, and her troop of fairies? and the Welch devil, Hugh? Mrs Page. They are all couched in a pit hard by Mrs Ford. That cannot choose but amaze him. Mrs Page. Against such lewdsters, and their lechery, SCENEIV.-Windsor Park. [Exeunt. Enter Mrs FORD and Mrs PAGE. Mrs Ford. Sir John? art thou there, my deer? my male deer? Fal. My doe with the black scut? - Let the sky rain potatoes; let it thunder to the tune of Green Sleeves; hail kissing-comfits, and snow eringoes; let there come a tempest of provocation, I will shelter me here. [Embracing her. Mrs Ford. Mistress Page is come with me, sweetheart. Fal. Divide me like a bribe-buck, each a haunch: I will keep my sides to myself, my shoulders for the fellow of this walk, and my horns I bequeath to your husbands. Am I a woodman? ha! Speak I like Herne the hunter?-Why,now is Cupid a child of conscience; he makes restitution. As I am a true spirit, welcome! [Noise within. Mrs Ford. Mrs Page. Alas! what noise? Mrs Ford. Heaven forgive our sins! Fal. What should this be? Away, away. Mrs Page.S [They run off. Fal. I think the devil will not have me damned, lest the oil that is in me should set hell on fire; he would never else cross me thus. Enter Sir HUGH EVANS, like a satyr; Mrs QUICKLY, and Quick. Fairies, black, grey, green, and white, Eva. Where's Pede?-Go you, and where you find That, ere she sleep, has thrice her prayers said, Search Windsor castle, elves, within and out: Enter Sir HUGH EVANS, and Fairies, shins. In state as wholesome, as in state 'tis fit; In emerald tufts, flowers, purple, blue, and white; Eva. Pray you, lock hand in hand; yourselves in or der set: And twenty glow-worms shall our lanterns be, Fal. Heavens defend me from that Welch fairy! les he transform me to a piece of cheese! Pist. Vile worm, thou wast o'er-look'd even in thy Quick. With trial-fire touch me his finger-end : It is the flesh of a corrupted heart. Pist. A trial, come. Eva. Come, will this wood take fire? Fal. Oh, oh, oh! [They burn him with their tapers. Quick. Corrupt, corrupt, and tainted in desire! to master Brook: his horses are arrested for it, master Brook. Mrs Ford. Sir John, we have had ill luck; we could never meet. I will never take you for my love again,but I will always count you my deer. Fal. I do begin to perceive that I am made an ass. Ford. Ay, and an ox too; both the proofs are extant. Fal. And these are not fairies? I was three or four times in the thought, they were not fairies: and yet the guiltiness of my mind, the sudden surprise of my powers drove the grossness of the foppery into a received belief, in despite of the teeth of all rhyme and reason, that they were fairies. See now,how wit may be made a Jack-a-lent, when 'tis upon ill employment! Eva. Sir John Falstaff, serve Got, and leave your desires, aud fairies will not pinse you. Ford. Well said, fairy Hugh. Eva. And leave you your jealousies too, I pray you. Ford. I will never mistrust my wife again, till thou art able to woo her in good English. Fal.Have I laid my brain in the sun,and dried it,that it wants matter to prevent so gross o'er-reaching as this? Am I ridden with a Welch goat too? Shall I have a coxcomb of frize? 'tis time I were choaked with a piece of toasted cheese. Eva. Seese is not good to give putter; your pelly is all putter. Fal. Seese and putter! have I lived to stand at the taunt of one that makes fritters of English? This is enough to be the decay of lust and late-walking, through the realm. Mrs Page. Why, sir John, do you think, though we would have thrust virtue out of our hearts by the head and shoulders, and have given ourselves without scruple to hell, that ever the devil could have made you our delight? Ford. What, a hodge-pudding? a bag of flax? Eva. It is right; indeed he is full of lecheries and Page. Old, cold,withered,and of intolerable entrails? iniquity. SONG. Fye on sinful fantasy! Fye on lust and luxury! Lust is but a bloody fire, Kindled with unchaste desire, Fed in heart; whose flames aspire, As thoughts do blow them, higher and higher. Pinch him for his villainy; Ford. And one that is as slanderous as Satan? Ford. And as wicked as his wife? Eva. And given to fornications, and to taverns, and sack, and wine, and metheglins, and to drinkings, and swearings, and starings, pribbles, and prabbles? Fal.Well,I am your theme:you have the start of me ;I am dejected;I am not able to answer the Welch flannel: ignorance itself is a plummet o'er me:use me as you will! Ford. Marry, sir, we'll bring you to Windsor, to one Pinch him, and burn him, and turn him about, master Brook, that you have cozened of money, to Till candles, and star-light, and moonshine be out. whom you should have been a pander: over and above During this song, the fairies pinch Falstaff. Doctothat you have suffered,I think,to repay that money will Caius comes one way, and steals away a fairy in green; Slender another way, and takes off a fairy in white: and Fenton comes, and steals away Mrs Anne Page. A noise of hunting is made within. All the fairies run away. Falstaff pulls off his buck's head, and rises. Enter PAGE, FORD, Mrs PAGE, and Mrs FORD. They lay hold of him. Page. Nay, do not fly! I think, we have watch'd you now: Will none but Herne the hunter serve your turn? Now, good sir John, how like you Windsor wives? be a biting affliction. Mrs Ford. Nay, husband, let that go to make amends: Forgive that sum, and so we'll all be friends. Ford. Well, here's my hand; all's forgiven at last. Page. Yet be cheerfull, knight: thou shalt eat a posset to-night at my house; where I will desire thee to laugh at my wife, that now laughs at thee. Tell her, master Slender hath married her daugther. Mrs Page. Doctors doubt that: if Anne Page be my daugther, she is, by this, doctor Caius' wife. [Aside. Enter SLENder. Slen. Whoo, ho! ho! father Page! Page. Son! how now? how now, son? have you despatched? Slen. Despatched! - I'll make the best in Glocestershire know on't; would I were hanged, la, else. Page. Of what, son? Ford. Now,sir,who's a cuckold now?-Master Brook, Falstafl's a knave, a cuckoldly knave; here are his Slen. I came yonder at Eton to marry mistress Anne horns, master Brook: and, master Brook, he hath en- Page, and she's a great lubberly boy: if it had not been joyed nothing of Ford's but his buck-basket, his cud-i' the church, I would have swinged him, or he gel, and twenty pounds of money; which must be paid should have swinged me. If I did not think it had been Anne Page, would I might never stir, and 'tis a postmaster's boy. had him. Page. Why, this is your own folly. Did not I tell you, how you should know my daughter by her garments? Slen. I went to her in white, and cry'd mum, and she cry'd budget, as Anne and I had appointed; and yet it was not Anne, but a postmaster's boy. Mrs Page. Why went you not with master doctor, maid? Page. Upon my life then you took the wrong. Eva. Jeshu! Master Slender, cannot you see but marry boys? Page. O, I am vexed at heart: what shall I do? Mrs Page. Good George, be not angry: I knew of your purpose; turned my daughter into green; and, indeed, she is now with the doctor at the deanery, and there married. Enter CAIUS. Caius. Vere is mistress Page? By gar, I am cozened; I ha' married un garçon, a boy; un paisan, by gar, a boy; it is not Anue Page: by gar, I am cozened. Mrs Page. Why, did you take her in green? Caius. Ay, be gar, and 'tis a boy: be gar, I'll raise all Windsor. [Exit Caius. Ford. This is strange! Who hath got the right Anne? Page. My heart misgives me. Here comes master Fenton. Enter FENTON and ANNE PAGE. How now, master Fenton ? - Anne. Pardon, good father! good my mother,pardon! To master Brook you yet shall hold your word; Page. Now, mistress? how chance you went not with For he, to-night, shall lie with mistress Ford. master Slender? [Exeunt. SCENE I. — An apartment in the Duke's palace. Duke. If music be the food of love, play,on, no more; Receiveth as the sea, nought enters there, Cur. Will you go hunt, my lord? Enter VALENTINE. Val. So please my lord, I might not be admitted, Duke. O, she that hath a heart of that fine frame, The Sea-coast. SCENE II.- Vio. What country, friends, is this? Vio. And what should I do in Illyria? Perchance he is not drown'd.-What think you,sailors? Cap. True, madam: and, to comfort you with chance, (Courage and hope both teaching him the practice) Vio. For saying so, there's gold: Mine own escape unfoldeth to my hope, The like of him. Know'st thou this country? Cap. Ay, madam, well; for I was bred and born Not three hours travel from this very place. Cap. A noble duke, in nature, As in his name. Vio. What is his name? Cap. Orsino. Vio. Orsino! I have heard my father name him: He was a bachelor then. Cap. And so is now, Or was so very late: for but a month Ago I went from hence; and then 'twas fresh In murmur, (as, you know, what great ones do, Vio. What's she? Cap. A virtuous maid, the daughter of a count, Vio. O, that I served that lady: And might not be delivered to the world, Till I had made mine own occasion mellow, What my estate is. Cap. That were hard to compass; Because she will admit no kind of suit, No, not the duke's. Vio. There is a fair behaviour in thee, Captain; Cap. Be you his eunuch, and your mute I'll be: SCENE III. A room in Olivia's house. Sir To. What a plague means my niece, to take the death of her brother thus? I am sure, care's an enemy to life. Mar. By my troth, sir Toby, you must come in earceptions to your ill hours. lier o'nights; your cousin, my lady, takes great ex Sir To. Why, let her except before excepted. Mar. Ay, but you must confine yourself within the modest limits of order. Sir. To. Confine? I'll confiue myself no finer than I am: these clothes are good enough to drink in, and so be these boots too; an they be not, let them hang themselves in their own straps. Mar. That quaffing and drinking will undo you: I heard my lady talk of it yesterday; and of a foolish knight that you brought in one night here to be her wooer. Sir. To. Who? Sir Andrew Ague-cheek? Mar. Ay, he. Sir To. He's as tall a man as any's in Illyria. Sir. To. Why, he has three thousand ducats Sir. To. Fye, that you'll say so! he plays o' the viol-de-gambo, and speaks three or four languages, word for word, without book, and hath all the good gifts of nature. Mar. He hath, indeed,- almost natural: for, besides that he's a fool, he's a great quarreller; and, but that he hath the gift of a coward to allay the gust he hath in quarrelling, 'tis thought among the prudent, he would quickly have the gift of a grave. Sir To. By this hand, they are scoundrels, and substractors, that say so of him. Who are they? Mar. They that add, moreover, he's drunk nightly in your company. Sir To. With drinking healths to my niece; I'll drink to her, as long as there is a passage in my throat, and will not drink to my niece, till his brains turn o' the drink in Illyria. He's a coward, and a coystril, that toe like a parish top. What, wench? Castiliano vulgo; for here comes Sir Andrew Ague-face. Enter Sir ANDREW AGUe-cheek. Sir And. Sir Toby Belch! how now, sir Toby Belch? Sir And. Bless you, fair shrew! Mar. And you too, sir! Sir To. Accost, sir Andrew, accost! Sir And. What's that? Sir To. My niece's chamber-maid. Sir And. Good mistress Accost, I desire better acquaintance. Mar. My name is Mary, sir. Sir. And. Good mistress Mary Accost, Sir To. You mistake, kuight: accost is, front her, board her, woo her, assail her. Sir And. By my troth, I would not undertake her in this company. Is that the meaning of accost? Mar. Fare you well, gentlemen. Sir To. An thou let part so, sir Andrew, 'would thou might'st never draw sword again. Sir And. An you part so, mistress, I would I might| never draw sword again. Fair lady, do you think you have fools in hand? Mar. Sir, I have not you by the hand. Sir And. Marry, but you shall have: and here's my hand. Mar. Now, sir, thought is free: I pray you, bring your hand to the buttery-bar, and let it drink. Sir And. Wherefore, sweet heart? what's your me- Sir And. Are you full of them? Mar. Ay, sir; I have them at my fingers ends': marry, now I let go your hand, I am barren. [Exit Maria. Sir To. O knight, thou lack'st a cup of canary! When did I see thee so put down? Sir And. Never in your life, I think; unless you see canary put me down. Methinks, sometimes I have no more wit than a Christian, or an ordinary man has: but I am a great eater of beef, and, I believe, that does harm to my wit. Sir To. No question. thou not go to church in a galliard, and come home in a coranto? My very walk should be a jig! I would not so much as make water, but in a sink-a-pace. What dost thou mean? is it a world to hide virtues in? I did think, by the excellent constitution of thy leg, it was formed under the star of a galliard. Sir And. Ay, 'tis strong, and it does indifferent well in a flame-coloured stock. Shall we set about some revels? Sir To. What shall we do else? were we not born under Taurus? Sir And. Taurus? that's sides and heart. Sir To. No, sir; it is legs and thighs. Let me see thee caper: ha! higher: ha, ha! excellent! [Exeunt. SCENE IV. -- A room in the Duke's palace. Enter Duke, CURIO, and Attendants. Vio. On your attendance, my lord; here. Sir And. An I thought that, I'd forswear it. I'll Till thou have audience. ride home to-morrow, sir Toby. Sir To. Pourquoy, my dear knight! Sir And. What is pourquoy? do or not do? I would I had bestowed that time in the tongues, that I have in fencing, dancing, and bear-baiting. O, had I but followed the arts! Sir To. Then hadst thou had an excellent head of hair. Sir And. Why, would that have mended my hair? Sir To. Past question; for thou seest, it will not curl by nature. Sir And. But it becomes me well enough, does't not? Sir To. Excellent: it hangs like flax on a distaff; and I hope to see a housewife take thee between her legs, and spin it off. Vio. Sure, my noble lord, If she be so abandon'd to her sorrow, Duke. Be clamorous, and leap all civil bounds, Sir And. 'Faith, I'll home to-morrow, sir Toby: Is not more smooth, and rubious; thy small pipe Sir To. She'll none o' the count; she'll not match above her degree, neither in estate, years, nor wit; I have heard her swear it. Tut, there's life in't, man. Sir And. I'll stay a month longer. I am a fellow o' the strangest mind i' the world; I delight in masques and revels sometimes altogether. Sir To. Art thou good at these kickshaws, knight? Sir And. As any man in Illyria, whatsoever he be, under the degree of my betters; and yet I will not compare with an old man. Sir To. What is thy excellence in a galliard, knight? Sir To. Wherefore are these things hid? wherefore have these gifts a curtain before them? are they like to take dust, like mistress Mall's picture? why dost I know, thy constellation is right apt Vio. I'll do my best, To woo your lady: yet, [Aside.] a barful strife! SCENE V.-A room in Olivia's house. Enter MARIA, and Clown. Mar. Nay, either tell me, where thou hast been, or I will not open my lips, so wide as a bristle may enter, in way of thy excuse: my lady will hang thee for thy ab sence. Clo. Let her hang me! he, that is well hanged in this world, needs to fear no colours. Mar. Make that good! |