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We do not act, that often jest and laugh;
Enter Falstaff in women's clothes, led by Mrs PAGE. "Tis vid but true, Stillswine eat all the draff
. [Exit. Mrs Puge. Come, mother Prat, come, give me your Re-enter Mrs FORD, with two Servants.
hand. Mrs Ford. Go, sirs, take the basket again on your Ford. I'll prat her:--Out of my door, you witch! shoulders; your master is hard at door; if he bid you [beats him) you rag, you baggage, you polecat, you set it down, obey him : quickly, despatch! [Exit.
ronyon! out! out! I'll conjure you, I'll fortune-tell 1 Serv. Come, come, take it up!
[Exit Falstaff. 2 Serv. Pray heaven, it be not full of the knight again. Mrs Page. Are you not ashamed? I think, you have 1 Serv. I hope not; I had as lief bear so much lead.
killed the poor woman. Enter Ford, Pace, SHALLOW, Caius, and Sir Hugh
Mrs Ford. Nay, he will do it!—'Tis a goodly credit Evans. Ford. Ay, but ifit prove true, master Page, have you Ford. Hang her, witch! any way then to unfool me again?-Set down the bas
Eva. By yea and no, I think the 'oman is a witch inket, villain ; somebody call my wife:-You, youth in deed : Nike not, when a 'omau has a great peard; I spy a basket, come out here !- 0, you panderly rascals ! a great peard under her muffler. there's a knot, a ging, a pack, a conspiracy against me: Ford. Will you follow, gentlemen ? I beseech you, now shall the devil be shamed. What! wife, I say! follow; see but the issue of my jealousy: if I cry out come, come forth; behold, what honest clothes you thus upon no trail, never trust me, when I open again. send forth to the bleaching !
Page. Let's obey his humour a little farther! Come, Page. Why, this passes! Master Ford, you are not gentlemen. [F.xeunt Page, Ford, Shallow, and Evans. to go loose any longer; you must be pinioned.
Mrs Page. Trust me, he beat him most pitifully. Eva. Why, this is lunatics! this is mad as a mad dog! Mrs Ford. Nay, by the mass, that he did not; he beat Shal. Indeed, master Ford, this is not well ; indeed. him most unpitifully, methought. Enter Mrs Ford.
Mrs Page. I'll have the cudgel hallowed, and hang Ford. So say Itoo, sir.- Come hither, mistress Ford; o'er the altar ; it hath doue meritorious service. mistress Ford, the honest woman, the modest wife, the Mrs Ford. What think you ? May we, with the warvirtu ous creature, that hath the jealous fool to her rant of womanhood, and the witness of a good conhusba.nd! I suspect without cause, mistress, do I ?
science, pursue him with any farther revenge? Mrs l'ord. Heaven bemy witness, you do, if you sus- Mrs Page. The spirit of wantonness is, sure, scared pect me in any dishonesty.
out of him; if the devil have him not in fee simple, Ford. Well said, brazen-face; hold it out. Come with line and recovery, he will never, I think, in the forth, sirrah! [Pulls the clothes out of the basket.
way of waste, attempt us again. Page. This passes !
Mrs Ford. Shall we tell our husbands, how we hare Mrs Ford.Are you not ashamed?let the clothes alone. served him? Ford. I shall find you anon.
Mrs Page. Yes, by all means; if it be but to scrape Eva. 'Tis unreasonable! Will you take up your wife's the figures out of your husband's brains. If they can clothes ? Come away.
find in their hearts, the poor un virtuous fat knight Ford. Empty the basket, I say !
shall be any farther afflicted, we two will still be the Mrs Ford. Why, man, why!-
ministers. Ford. Master Page, as I am a man, there was one con- Mrs Ford. I'll warrant, they'll have him publicly veyed out of my house yesterday in this basket. Why shamed: and, methinks, there would be no period lo may not he be there again? In my house I am sure he is: the jest, should he not be publicly shamed. my intelligence is true; my jealousy is reasonable.
Mrs Page. Come, to the forge with it then, shape Pluck me out all the linen!
it! I would not have things cool.
[Exeunt. Mrs Ford. If you find a man there, he shall die a flea's Page. Here's no man.
death. SCENE III.- Aroom in the Garter Inn. Shal. By my fidelity, this is not well, master Ford;
Enter Host and BARDOLPH. this wrongs you. Eva. Master Ford, you must pray, and not follow the horses: the duke himself will be to-morrow at court,
Bard. Sir, the Germans desire to have three of your imaginations of your own heart: this is jealousies. Ford. Well, he's not here I seek for.
and they are going to meet him.
Host. What duke should that be, comes so secretly? Puge. No, nor no where else, but in your brain. Ford. Help to search my house this one time: if I find I hear not of him in the court. Let me speak with the not what I seek,show no colour for my extremity,let me
gentlemen; they sưeak English ?
Bard. Ay, sir: I'll call them to you. for ever be your table-sport; let them say of me, As
Host. They shall have my horses ; but I'll make them jealous as Ford, that searched a hollow walnut for his wife's leman.Satisfy me ouce more; once more search pay, I'll saucethem; they have had my houses a week
at command ; I have turned away my other guests : with me!
Mrs Ford. What hoa, mistress Page! come you, and they must come off; I'll sauce them : come! [Exeunt. the old woman, down; my husband will come into the chamber.
SCENEIV.- Aroom in Ford's house. Ford. Old woman! What old woman's that?
Enter Page, FORD, Mrs Page, Mrs Foks, and Sir Mrs Ford. Why, it is my maid's aunt of Brentford.
Hugh Evans. Ford. A witch, a quean, and old cozening quean! Eva. 'Tis one of the pest discretions of a 'oman as Have I not forbid her my house? She comes of errands, ever I did look upon. does she? We are simple men; we do not know what's Page. And did he send you both these letters at an brought to pass under the profession of fortune-tel- instant ? ling. She works hy charms, by spells, by the figure, Mrs Page. Within a quarter of an hour. and such daubery as this is; beyond our element: we Ford. Pardon me, wife : henceforth do what thou know nothing - Come down, you witch, you hag yon; come down, I say !
I rather will suspect the san with cold, Mrs Ford. Nay, good, sweet husband;-good gentle- Than thee with wantomess : now doth thy honour men, let him not strike the old woman.
In him, that was of late an heretic,
MrsPage.My Nan shall be the queen of all the fairies, As firm as faith.
Finely attired in a robe of white. Page. 'Tis well, 'tis well; no more.
Page. That silk will I go buy;—and in that time Be not as extreme in submission,
Shall master Slender steal my Nan away, [Aside. As in offence;
And marry her at Eton.--Go, send to Falstaff straight! But let our plot go forward : let our wives
Ford. Nay, I'll to him again in name of Brook. Yet once again, to make us public sport,
He'll tell me all his purpose. Sure, he'll come. Appoint a meeting with this old fat fellow,
Mrs Page. Fear not you that!Go, get us properties, Where we may take him, and disgrace him for it. And tricking for our fairies. Ford. There is no better way than that they spoke of. Eva. Let us about it! It is admirable pleasures, and Page. How! to send him word, they'll meet himin fery honest knaveries! the park at midnight! fie, fie; he'll never come.
(Exeunt Page, Ford, and Evans. Eva. You say, he has been thrown into the rivers ; Mrs Page. Go, mistress Ford, and has been grievously peaten, as an old 'oman: me- Send Quickly to sir John, to know his mind. thinks, there should be terrors in him, that he should
[Exit Mrs Ford. not come; methinks, his flesh is punished, he shall have I'll to the doctor; he hath my good will
, no desires.
And none but he, to marry with Nan Page. Page. So think I too.
That Slender, though well landed, is an idiot; Mrs Ford. Devise but, how you'll use him, when he and he my husband best of all affects : comes,
The doctor is well money'd, and his friends And let us two devise to bring him thither.
Potent at court: he, none but he, shall have her, Mrs Page. There is an old tale goes, that Herne the Though twenty thousand worthier come to crave her. hunter,
(Exit. Sometime a keeper here in Windsor forest,
$ Doth all the winter time, at still midnight,
SCENE V.- Aroom in the Garter Inn. Walk round about an oak with great ragg’d horns;
Enter Host and SIMPLE. And there he blasts the tree, and takes the cattle; Host. What would'st thou have, boor? what, thickAnd makes milch-kine yield blood, and shakes a skin ? speak, breathe, discuss; brief, short, quick,snap! chain
Sim. Marry, sir, I come to speak with sir John FalIn a most hideous and dreadful manner:
stafl from master Slender. You have heard of such a spirit; and well you know, Host. There's his chamber, his house, his castle, his The superstitious idle-headed eld
standing-bed, and truckle-bed; 'tis painted about Received, and did deliver to our age,
with the story of the prodigal, fresh and new: go, This tale of Herne the hunter for a truth.
knock and call; he'll speak likean Anthropophaginian Page. Why, yet there want not many, that do fear unto thee. Knock, I say ! In deep of night to walk by this Herne's oak:
Sim. There's an old woman, a fat woman, gone up But what of this?
into his chamber: I'll be so bold as stay, sir, till she Mrs Ford. Marry, this is our device;
come down: I come to speak with her, indeed. That Falstaff at that oak shall meet with us,
Host. Ha! a fat womau! the knight may be robbed: Disguised like Herne, with huge horns on his head. I'll call.-Bully knight! Bully sir John! speak from thy
Page. Well, let it not be doubted but he'll come, lungs military: art thou there? it is thine host, thine And in this shape. When you have brought him thi- Ephesian, calls. ther,
Fal. [-Above.] How now, mine host? What shall be done with him ? what is your plot? Host. Here's a bohemian Tartar tarries the coming Mrs Page. Thatlikewise have we thought upon, and down of thy fat woman. Let her descend, bully, let her thus :
descend; my chambers are honourable: Fye! privacy? Nan Page my daughter, and my little son,
fye! And three or four more of their growth, we'll dress
Enter FALSTAFF. Like urchins, ouphes, and fairies, green and white, Fal. There was, mine host, an old fat woman even With rounds of waxen tapers on their heads,
with me; but she's gone. And rattles in their hands; upon a sudden,
Siin. Pray you, sir, was't not the wise woman of As Falstaff, she, and I, are newly met,
Brentford ? Let them from forth a saw-pit rush at once
Fal. Ay, marry, was it, muscle-shell: what wonld With some diffused song; upon their sight,
you with her? Wetwoin great amazedness will fly:
Sim. My master, sir, my master Slender, sent to Then let them all encircle him about,
her, seeing her go thorough the streets, to know, sir, And, fairy-like, to pinch theunclean knight'; whether one Nym, sir, that beguiled him of a chain, And ask him, why, that hour of fairy revel,
had the chain, or no. In their so secret paths he dares to tread,
Fal. I spake with the old woman about it. In shape profane.
Sim. And what says she, I pray, sir? Mrs Ford. And till he tell the truth,
Fal. Marry, she says, that the very same man, that Let the supposed fairies pinch him sound,
beguiled master Slender of his chain, cozened him of it. And burn him with their tapers.
Sim. I would, I could have spoken with the woman Mrs Page. The truth being known,
herself; I had other things to have spoken with her We'll all present ourselves; dis-horn the spirit, too, from him. And mock him home to Windsor.
Fal. What are they? let us know. Ford. The children must
Host. Ay, come; quick! Be practis'd well to this, or they'll ne'er do't.
Sim. I may not conceal them, sir. Eva. I will teach the children their behaviours; and Fal. Conceal them, or the diest! I will be like a jack-an-apes also; to burn the knight Sim. Why, sir, they were nothing but abont miswith my taber.
tress Anne Page: to know, if it were my master's forFord. That will be excellent. I'll go buy them vi- tune to have her, orno. zards.
Fal. 'Tis, 'tis his fortune.
Sim. What, sir?
Quick. Sir, let me speak with you in your chamber : Fal. To have her, - or no: go; say, the woman you shall hear how things go; and, I warrant, to your told me so.
content. Here is a letter will say somewhat. Good Sim. May I be so bold to say so, sir?
hearts, what ado here is to bring you together! Sure, Fal. Ay, sir Tike; who more bold?
one of you does not serve heaven well, that you are Sim. I thank your worship: Ishall make my master so crossed. glad with these tidings. [Exit Simple. Fal. Come up into my chamber.
[Ereunt. Host. Thou art clerkly, thou art clerkly, sir John: was there a wise woman with thee?
SCENE VI. - Another room in the Garter Inn. Fal. Ay, that there was, mine host; one, that hath
Enter Fenton and Host. taught me more wit, than ever I learned before in my Host. Master Fenton, talk not to me! my mind is life: and I paid nothing for it neither, but was paid heavy,I will give over all. for my learning.
Fent. Yet hear me speak! Assist me in my purpose, Enter BARDOLPR.
And, as I am a gentleman, I'll give thee Bard. Ont, alas, sir! cozenage! mere cozenage! A hundred pound in gold, more than your loss. Host. Where be my horses ? speak well of them, Host. I will hear you, master Fenton; and I will,at the varletto!
least, keep your counsel. Bard. Run away with the cozeners ! for so soon as I
Fent. From time to time I have acquainted you came beyond Eton, they threw me off, from behind With the dear love I bear to fair Anne Page; one of them, in a slough of mire; and set spurs, and Who,mutually, hath answer'd my affection away, like threeGerman devils, three doctor Faustuses. (So far forth as herself might be her chooser,) Host. They are gone but to meet the duke, villain : Even to my wish : I have a letter from her do not say, they be fled; Germans are honest men. Of such contents as you will wonder at; Enter Sir Hugh Eyaxs.
The mirth whereof so larded with my matter, Eva. Where is mine host?
That neither, singly, can be manifested, Host. What is the matter, sir ?
Without the show of both ;-wherein fat Falstaff Eva. Have a care of your entertainments: there is a Hath a great scene: the image of the jest friend of mine come to town, tells me, there is three
(Showing the letter. cousin germans, that has cozened all the hosts of I'll show you here at large. Hark, good mine host! Readings, of Maidenhead, of Colebrook, of horses and To-night at Herne's oak, just 'twixt twelve and one, money. I tell you for good-will, look you : you are Must my sweet Nan present the fairy queen; wise, and full of gibes and vlouting-stogs; and 'tis The purpose why, is here; in which disguise, not conveniend you should be cozened! Fare you well! While other jests are something rank on foot,
(Exeunt. Her father hath commanded her to slip Enter Doctor Caius.
Away with Slender, and with him at Eton Caius. Vere is mine host de Jarterre ?
Immediately to marry: she hath consented: Host. Here, master doctor, in perplexity, and doubt- Now, sir, ful dilemma.
Her mother, even strong against that match, Caius. I cannot tell vat is dat: but it is tell-a me, dat And firm for doctor Caius, hath appointed, you make grand preparation for a duke de Jarmany :by That he shall likewise shuffle her away, my trot, dere is no duke, dat de court is know to come: While other sports are tasking of their minds, I tell you for good vill: adieu !
[Exit. And at the deanery, where a priest attends, Host. Hue and cry, villain, go!-assist me, knight;1 Straight marry her : to this her mother's plot am undone :-fly, run, hue and cry, villain! I am un- She, seemingly obedient, likewise hath done!
[Exeunt Host and Bardolph. Made promise to the doctor. - Now, thus it rests : Fal. I would, all the world might be cozened; for I Her father means, she shall be all in white; have beeu cozened,and beaten too. If it should come to And in that habit, when Slender sees his time the ear of the court, how I have been transformed, and To take her by the hand, and bid her go, how my transformation hath been washed and cudgel- She shall go with him:- her mother hath intended, led, they would melt me out of my fat, drop by drop, The better to denote her to the doctor, and liquor fishermen's boots with me; I warrant, they (For they must all be mask'd and vizarded,) would whip me with their fine wits, till I were as crest- That, quaint in green, she shall be loose enrob’d, fallen as a dried pear. I never prospered, since I for- With ribbands pendant, flaring 'bout her head; swore myself at primero. Well, if my wind were but long And when the doctor spies his vantage ripe, enough to say my prayers, I would repent.
To pinch her by the hand, and, on that token,
The maid hath given consent to go with him.
Host. Wich means she to deceive? father or mother? Quick. From the two parties, forsooth.
Fent. Both, my good host, to go along with me: Fal. The devil take one party, and his dam the other, And here it rests,--that you'll procure the vicar and so they shall be both bestowed ! I have suffered To stay for me at church, 'twixt twelve and one, more for their sakes, more, than the villainous incon- And, in the lawfulname of marrying, stancy of man's disposition is able to bear.
To give our hearts united ceremony. Quick. And have not they suffered ? Yes, I warrant; Host. Well, husband your device; I'll to the vicar : speciously one of them; mistress Ford, good heart, is Bring you the maid, you shall not lack a priest. beaten black and blue, that you cannot see a white spot Fent. So shall I evermore be bound to thee; about her.
Besides, I'll make a present recompense. (Exeunt. Fal. What tell'st thou me of black and blue? I was beaten myself into all the colonrs of the rainbow; and I was like to be apprehended for the witch of
A CT. V. Brentford; but that my admirable dexterity of wit, SCENEI.- A room in the Garter Inn. my counterfeiting the action of an old woman, delive
Enter Falstaff and Mrs QUICKLY. red me, the knave constable had set me i' the stocks, i' Fal. Pr’ythee, no more prattling;-go--P'll hold: the common stocks, for a witch.
this is the third time; I hope, good luck lies in odd
numbers. Away, go ; they say, there is divinity in odd parts: be pold, I pray you; follow me into the pit, and numbers, either in nativity, chance, or death. Away. when I give you the watch'ords, do as I pid you ; come Quick. I'll provide you a chain ; and I'll do what I can come; trib, trib.
(Exeunt. to get you a pair of horns.
Fal. Away, I say; time wears : hold up your head, SCENE V.- Another part of the Park. and mince!
[Exit Mrs Quickly. Enter Falstaff disguised, with a buck's head on. Enter FORD.
Fal. The Windsor bell hath struck twelve; the miHow now, master Brook?Master Brook, the matter will nute draws on. Now, the hot-blooded gods assist me! be known to-night, or never. Be you in the park about - Remember, Jove, thon wast a bull for thy Europa ; midnight, atHernes' oak, and you shall see wonders. love set on thy horns.-0,powerfullove! that,in some
Ford. Went you not to her yesterday, sir, as you told respects, makes a beast a man; in some other, a man me yon had appointed ?
a beast. —You were also, Jupiter, a swan, for the love Fal. I went to her, master Brook, as you see, like a of Leda;-0, omnipotentlove! how near the god drew poor
old man: but I came from her, master Brook, like to the complexion of a goose! - A fault done first in a poor old woman. That same knave, her husband, hath the form of a beast ;-0, Jove, a beastly fault! and then the finest mad devil of jealousy in him, master Brook, another fault in the semblance of a fowl; think on't, that ever governed frenzy. I will tell you.—He beatme Jove; a foul fault.— When gods have hot backs, what grievously, in the shape of a woman"; for in the shape shall poor men do? For me, I am here a Windsor stag, of man, master Brook, I fear not Goliath with a weaver's and the fattest, I think, i'the forest: send me a cool beam; because I know also, life is a shuttle. I am in rut-time,Jove, or who can blame me to piss my tallow? haste; go along with me; I'll tell you all, master Brook. -Who comes here? my doe? Since I plucked geese, played truant, and whipped top,
Enter Mrs Ford and Mrs Page. I knew not what it was to be beaten, till lately. Follow Mrs Ford. Sir John? art thou there, my
my me : I'll tell you strange things of this knave Ford; on male deer? whom to-night I will be revenged, and I will deliver his Fal. My doe with the black scut? — Let the sky rain wife into your hand.—Follow; strange things in hand, potatoes ; let it thunder to thetune of Green Sleeves ; niaster Brook! follow.
[Exeunt. hail kissing-comfits, and snow eringoes; let there SCENE II.-Windsor Park.
come a tempest of provocation, I will shelter me here. Enter Page, SHALLOW, and SLENDER.
[Embracing her. Page.Come,come; we'll conch i'the castle-ditch, till Mrs Ford. Mistress Page is come with me, sweetheart. we see the light of our fairies.—Remember, son Slen
Fal. Divide me like a bribe-buck, each a haunch: I der, my daughter.
will keep my sides to myself, my shoulders for the felSlen, Ay, forsooth; I have spoke with her, and we low of this walk, and my horns I bequeath to your hushave a nay-word, how to know one another. I come to bands. Am I a woodman ? ha! Speak I like Herne the her in white, and cry, mum; she cries, budget; and by hunter?-Why,now is Cupid a child of conscience; he that we know one another.
makes restitution. As I am a true spirit, welcome! Shal. That's good too: but what needs either your
[Noise within. mum, or her budget? the white will decipher her well Mrs Page. Alas! what noise? enough.-It hath struck ten o'clock.
Mrs Ford. Heaven forgive our sins !
Away, away. means evil but the devil, and we shall know him by his
[They run off. horns. Let's away; follow me!
Fal. I think the devil will not have me damned, lest
the oil that is in me should set hell on fire; he would SCENEIII.-The street in Windsor.
never else cross me thus. Enter Mrs Page, Mrs Ford, and Dr Caius.
Enter Sir Hugh Evans, like a satyr; Mrs Quickly, and Mrs Page. Master doctor, my daughter is in green : Pistol; Anne Pace, as the Fairy Queen, attended by when you see your time, take her by the hand, away her brother and others, dressed like Fairies, with with her to the deanery, and despatch it quickly! Go before into the park; we two must go together.
waxen tapers on their heads.
Quick. Fairies, black, grey, green, and white, Caius. Iknew vat I have to do; adieu !
You moon-shine revellers, and shades of night, Mrs Page. Fare you well, sir. (Exit Caius.] —My You orphan-heirs of fixed destiny, husband will not rejoice so much at the abuse of Fal- Attend your office, and your quality! staff, as he will. chafe at the doctor's marrying my Crier Hobgoblin, make the fairy o-yes! daughter : but 'tis no matter ; better a little chiding, Pist. Elves, list your names; silence, you airy toys ! than a great deal of heartbreak.
Cricket, to Windsor chimnies shalt thou leap : Mrs Ford. Where is Nan now, and her troop of fai- Where fires thou find'st unrak’d, and rths unswept, ries ? and the Welch devil, Hugh?
There pinch the maids as blue as bilberry: Mrs Page. They are all couched in a pit hard by Our radiant queen hates sluts, and slattery. Herne's oak, with obscured lights; which, at the very fal.They are fairies; he that speaks to them,shall die: instant of Falstaff's and our meeting, they will at once I'll wink and couch: no man their works must display to the night.
(Lies down upon his face. Mrs Ford. That cannot choose butamaze him.
Eva. Where's Pede?-Go you, and where you find Mrs Page. If he be not amazed, he will be mocked;
a maid, if he be amazed, he will every way be mocked,
That, ere she sleep, has thrice her prayers said, Mrs Ford. We'll betray him finely.
up the organs of her fantasy, MrsPage. Against such lewdsters, and their lechery, Sleep she as sound as careless infancy; Those that betray them do no treachery. Mrs Ford. The hour draws on; to the oak, to the eak! Pinch them, arms, legs, backs, shoulders, sides, and
But those as sleep, and think not on their sins, [Exeunt. Quick. About, abont;
shins. SCENEIV.-Windsor Park.
Search Windsor castle, elves, within and out: Enter Sir Hugh Evans, and Fairies, Strew good luck, ouphes, on every sacredroom, Eva. Trib, trib, fairies ; come ; and remember your That it may stand till the perpetual doom,
In state as wholesome, as in state'tis fit;
to master Brook : his horses are arrested for it, master Worthy the owner, and the owner it.
Brook. The several chairs of order look you scour
Mrs Ford. Sir John, we have had ill luck; we could With juice of balm, and every precious flower : never meet. I will never take you for my love again, but Each fair instalment, coat, and several crest,
I will always count you my
deer. With loyal blazon, evermore be blest!
Fal. I do begin to perceive that I am made an ass. And nightly, meadow-fairies, look, you sing,
Ford. Ay, and an ox too; both the proofs are extant. Like to the Garter's compass, in a ring :
Fal. And these are not fairies ? I was three or four The expressure that it bears, green let it be,
times in the thought, they were not fairies: and yet the More fertile-fresh than all the field to see;
guiltiness of my mind, the sudden surprise of my powAnd, Hony soit qui mal y pense, write,
e rs drove the grossness of the foppery into a reIu emerald tufts, flowers, purple, blue, and white; ceived belief, in despite of the teeth of all rhyme and Like sapphire, pearl, and rich embroidery,
reason, that they were fairies. See now,how wit may be Buckled below fair knight-hood’s bending knee: made a Jack-a-lent, when ’tis upon ill employment! Fairies use flowers for their charactery.
Eva. Sir John Falstaff, serve Got, and leave your deAway; disperse! But, till’tis one o'clock,
sires, aud fairies will not pinse you. Our dance of custom, round about the oak
Ford. Well said, fairy Flugh. Of Herne the hunter, let us not forget!
Eva. And leave you your jealousies too, I pray you. Eva. Pray you, lock hand in hand; yourselves in or- Ford. I will never mistrust my wife again, till thou der set:
art able to woo her in good English. And twenty glow-worms shall our lanterns be, Fal.Havellaid my brain in the sun,and dried it, that it To guide our measure round about the tree.
wants matter to prevent so gross o'er-reaching as this? But, stay; I smell a man of middle earth.
Am I ridden with a Welch goat too ? Shall I have a Fal. Heavens defend me from that Welch fairy! lest coxcomb of frize?'tis time I were choaked with a piece he transform me to a piece of cheese!
of toasted cheese. Pist. Vile worm, thou wast o'er-look'd even in thy Eva. Seese is not good to give putter; your pelly is
birth. Quick. With trial-fire touch me his finger-end : Fal. Seese and putter ! have I lived to stand at the If he be chaste, the flame will back descend,
taunt of one that makes fritters of English ? This is And turn him to no pain; but if he start,
enough to be the decay of lust and late-walking, It is the fesh of a corrupted heart.
through the realm. Pist. A trial, come.
Mrs Page. Why, sir John, do you think, though we Eva. Come, will this wood take fire?
would have thrust virtue out of our hearts by the head [They burn him with their tapers and shoulders, and have given ourselves without Fal. Oh, oh, oh!
scruple to hell, that ever the devil could have made Quick. Corrupt, corrupt, and tainted in desire !
you our delight? About him, fairies; sing a scornful rhyme:
Ford. What, a hodge-pudding? a bag of flax? And as you trip, still pinch him to your time.
Mrs Page. A puffed man? Eva. It is right; indeed he is full of lecheries and Page. Old,cold, withered, and of intolerable entrails? iniquity.
Ford. And one that is as slanderous as Satan?
Page. And as poor as Job?
Ford. And as wicked as his wife?
Eva. And given to fornications, and to taverns, and
sack, and wine, and metheglins, and to drinkings, and Kindled with unchaste desire,
swearings, and starings, pribbles, and prabbles ? Fed in heart; whose flames aspire,
Fal.Well,I am your theme:you have the start of me;I As thoughts do blow them, higher and higher, am dejected; I am not able to answer the Welch flannel: Pinch him, fairies, mutually ;
ignorance itselfis a plummeto'er me:use me as you will! Pinch him for his villainy;
Ford. Marry, sir, we'll bring you to Windsor, to one Pinch him, and burn him, and turn him about, master Brook, that you have cozened of money, to
Till candles, and star-light, and moonshine be out. whom you should have been a pander: over and above During this song, the fairies pinch Falstaff. Docto that you have sufiered, I think,to repay that money will Caius comes one way, and steals away a fairy in be a biting affliction. green; Slender another way, and takes off a fairy Mrs Ford. Nay, husband, let that go to make amends: in white: and Fenton comes, and steals away Mrs Forgive that sum, and so we'll all be friends. Anne Page. A noise of hunting is made within. All Ford. Well, here's my hand; all's forgiven at last. the fairies run away. Falstaj pulls off his buck's Page. Yet he cheerfull, knight: thou shalt eat a poshead, and rises,
set to-night at my house; where I will desire thee to Enter Pace, Ford, Mrs Pace, and Mrs Ford. The laugh at my wife, that now laughs at thee. Tell her, lay hold of him.
master Slender hath married her daugther. Page. Nay, do not fly! I think, we have watch'dy
you Mrs Page. Doctors doubt that: if Anne Page be my
daugther, she is, by this, doctor Caius' wife. [Aside. Will none but Herne the hunter serve your turn ?
Enter SLENDER. Mrs Page. I pray you, come; hold up the jest no Slen. Whoo, ho ! ho ! father Page! higher!
Page. Son! how now? how now, son? have you Now, good sir John, how like you Windsor wives? despatched? See you these, husband ? do not these fair yokes Slen. Despatched !- I'll make the best in GloceBecome the forest better than the town?
stershire know on't; would I were hanged, la, else. Ford. Now,sir, who's a cuckold now?-Master Brook, Page. Of what, son? Falstaff's a knave, a cuckoldly knave; here are his Slen. I came yonder at Eton to marry mistress Anne horns, master Brook: and, master Brook, he hath en- Page, and she's a great lubberly boy: if it had not been joyed nothing of Ford's but his buck-basket, his cud-i' the church, I would have swinged him, or he gel, and twenty pounds of money ; which must be paid should have swinged me. If I did not think it had been