T I. IM TURPIN he was gravel-blind, II. So, like a Christmas pedagogue, III. There's some have specs to help their sight But Tim had specks within his eyes, IV. Now Tim he wooed a servant maid, V. By day she led him up and down, VI. But just when Tim had lived a month A surgeon ope'd his Milton eyes, VII. But when his eyes were opened thus, VIII. Her face was bad, her figure worse, A Grace before his meat. IX. Now Tim he was a feeling man : X. So, with a cudgel in his hand- He knock'd at his wife's head until XI. And when the corpse was stiff and cold, He took his slaughter'd spouse, And laid her in a heap with all The ashes of her house. XII. But like a wicked murderer, XIII. The neighbours fetch'd a doctor in : XIV. But when another week was gone, XV. Ah! when he hid his bloody work, XVI. But when the parish dustman came, His rubbish to withdraw, He found more dust within the heap, Than he contracted for! XVII. A dozen men to try the fact, XVIII. Said Tim unto those jurymen, XIX. And, oh when I reflect upon XX. Then turning round his head again, A great judge, and a little judge, XXI. The great judge took his judgment cap, And sentenced Tim by law to hang, XXII. So he was tried, and he was hung On Horsham-drop, and none can say "God help thee, said I, but I'll let thee out, cost what it will: so I turned about the cage to get to the door."-STERNE. IS strange, what awkward figures and odd capers Who take their bias from bewilder'd journals- And make themselves fools'-caps of the diurnals. |