I have thee by the nose-- -it's now
My turn-and I will turn it up."

Guess how the miser liked the scurvy
And cruel way of venting passion;
The snubbing folks in this new fashion
Seem'd quite to turn him topsy-turvy ;
He utter'd pray'rs, and groans, and curses,
For things had often gone amiss

And wrong with him before, but this
Would be the worst of all reverses!
In fancy he beheld his snout
Turn'd upward like a pitcher's spout;
There was another grievance yet,
And fancy did not fail to show it,
That he must throw a summerset,
Or stand upon his head to blow it.

And was there then no argument
To change the doctor's vile intent,
And move his pity ?-yes, in truth,
And that was-paying for the tooth.
"Zounds! pay for such a stump! I'd rather"
But here the menace went no farther,
For with his other ways of pinching,
Hunks had a miser's love of snuff,
A recollection strong enough
To cause a very serious flinching;
In short he paid and had the feature
Replaced as it was meant by nature;
For tho' by this 'twas cold to handle,
(No corpse's could have felt more horrid,)
And white just like an end of candle,
The doctor deem'd and proved it too,
That noses from the nose will do

As well as noses from the forehead;
So, fix'd by dint of rag and lint,
The part was bandaged up and muffled.
The chair unfasten'd, Hunks arose,
And shuffled out, for once unshuffled;
And as he went, these words he snuffled-
"Well, this is paying thro' the nose.'

Pony-Atowski.

P

"Wholesale-Retail-and for Exportation."

THE DECLINE OF MRS SHAKERLY.

JOWARDS the close of her life, my Aunt Shakerly increased rapidly in bulk: she kept adding growth unto her growth,

“Giving a sum of more to that which had too much,”

till the result was worthy of a Smithfield premium. It was not the triumph, however, of any systematic diet for the promotion of fat-(except oyster-eating, there is no human system

of stall-feeding); on the contrary, she lived abstemiously, diluting her food with pickle-acids, and keeping frequent fasts, in order to reduce her compass; but they failed of this desirable effect. Nature had planned an original tendency in her organisation that was not to be overcome: she would have fattened on sour krout.

Originally
There was

My uncle, on the other hand, decreased daily. a little man, he became lean, shrunken, wizened. a predisposition in his constitution that made him spare, and kept him so he would have fallen off, even on brewers' grains.

It was the common joke of the neighbourhood to designate my aunt, my uncle, and the infant Shakerly, as "WHOLESALE, RETAIL, AND FOR EXPORTATION;" and, in truth, they were not inapt impersonations of that popular inscription-my aunt a giantess, my uncle a pigmy, and the child being "carried abroad."

Alas! of the three departments, nothing now remains but the Retail portion-my uncle, a pennyworth, a mere sample.

and my uncle, to There she lived for

It is upon record, that Dr Watts, though a puny man in person, took a fancy, towards his latter days, that he was too large to pass through a door-an error which Death shortly corrected by taking him through his own portal. My unhappy aunt, with more show of reason, indulged in a similar delusion. She conceived herself to have grown inconveniently cumbersome for the small village of quiet her, removed to the metropolis. some months in comparative ease, till at last an unlucky event recalled all her former inquietude. The elephant of Mr Cross, a good feeder, and with a natural tendency to corpulence, throve so well on his rations, that, becoming too huge for his den, he was obliged to be dispatched. My aunt read the account in the newspapers, and the catastrophe, with its cause, took possession of her mind. She seemed to herself as that elephant. An intolerable sense of confinement and oppression haunted her by day and in her dreams. First she had a tightness at her chest, then in her limbs, then all over.

She

felt too big for her chair, then for her bed, then for her room, then for the house! To divert her thought, my uncle proposed to go to Paris; but she was too huge for a boat, for a barge, for a packet, for a frigate, for a country, for a continent ! "She was too big," she said, "for this world; but she was going to one that is boundless.'

Nothing could wean her from this belief. Her whole talk was of "cumber grounds," of the "burthen of the flesh," and of "infinity." Sometimes her head wandered, and she would then speak of disposing of the "bulk of her personals." In the meantime, her health decayed slowly, but perceptibly. She was dying, the doctor said, by inches.

Now my uncle was a kind husband, and meant tenderly, though it sounded untender: but when the doctor said that she was dying by inches

"Consider what a great