THE ENLISTMENT. GEORGE FARQUHAR. Enter SERGEANT KITE, followed by THOMAS APPLETREE, COSTAR, PearMAIN, and the Mob. Serg. Kite. If any gentlemen, soldiers, or others, have a mind to serve his majesty, and pull down the French king; if any 'prentices have severe masters, any children have undutiful parents, if any servants have too little wages, or any husband too much wife, let them repair to the noble Sergeant Kite, at the sign of the Raven, in this good town of Shrewsbury, and they shall receive present relief and entertainment. [Drums beat.] Gentlemen, I don't beat my drums here to ensnare or inveigle any man; for you must know, gentlemen, that I am a man of honor: besides, I don't beat up for common soldiers; no, I list only grenadiers, grenadiers, gentlemen. Pray, gentlemen, observe this cap, this is the cap of honor! it dubs a man a gentleman in the drawing of a trigger, and he that has the good fortune to be born six feet high was born to be a great man-sir, will you give me leave to try this cap upon your head? [TO COSTAR. Costar. Is there no harm in't? Won't the cap list me? Serg. K. No, no, no more than I can. Come, let me see how it becomes you. Cost. Are you sure there be no conjuration in it? No gunpowder plot upon me? Serg. K. No, no, friend; don't fear, man. Cost. My mind misgives me plaguily.-Let me see it-[Going to put it on.] It smells woundily of sweat and brimstone. Smell, Tummas. Thomas. Ay, wauns does it. Cost. Pray, sergeant, what writing is this upon the face of it? Serg. K. The crown, or the bed of honor. Cost. Pray now, what may be that same bed of honor? Serg. K. Oh! a mighty large bed! bigger by half than the great bed at Ware-ten thousand people may lie in it together and never feel one another. Cost. But do folk sleep sound in this same bed of honor? Cost. Wauns! I wish that my wife lay there. Serg. K. Say you so! then I find, brother Cost. Brother! hold there, friend; I am no kindred to you that I know of yet. Look ye, sergeant, no coaxing, no wheedling, d'ye seeif I have a mind to list, why so-if not, why 'tis not so-therefore take your cap and your brothership back again, for I am not disposed at this present writing. No coaxing, no brothering me, faith! Serg. K. I coax, I wheedle! I'm above it, sir: I have served twenty campaigns-but, sir, you talk well, and I must own that you are a man every inch of you; a pretty, young, sprightly fellow! I love a fellow with a spirit; but I scorn to coax; 'tis base! though I must say that never in my life have I seen a man better built. How firm and strong he treads! he steps like a castle! but I scorn to wheedle any manCome, honest lad! will you take share of a pot? Cost. Nay, for that matter I'll spend my penny with the best, he that wears a head, that is begging your pardon, sir, and in a fair way. Serg. K. Give me your hand then; and now, gentlemen, I have no more to say than this-here's a purse of gold, and there is a tub of humming ale at my quarters-'tis the king's money and the king's drink-he's a generous king and loves his subjects-I hope, gentlemen you won't refuse the king's health. All Mob. No, no, no. Serg. K. shire. All Mob. Huzza then! huzza for the king and the honor of Shrop Huzza! Serg. K. Beat drum. [Exeunt. From "The Recruiting Officer." A CONSULTATION OF PHYSICIANS IN PARIS. SCENE.-The Doctors seated together in an apartment. DR. DESFONANDRÈS and DR. TOMÈS. MOLIÈRE. Dr. Desfonandrès. Paris is a very extensive city, and with such a practice as mine, one must make long journeys in a day. Dr. Tomès. Well, that is true, but I have so easy and excellent a mule that I am unconscious of the amount of my travel. Dr. D. I have a wonderful horse; an indefatigable animal. Dr. T. Do you know what my mule has done to-day? I went first to a place opposite the arsenal; from the arsenal to the Faubourg Saint Germain; from the Faubourg Saint Germain to the end of the Marais; from the end of the Marais to the city gate of St. Honoré; from the gate of St. Honoré to the Faubourg Saint James; from the Faubourg Saint James to the gate Richelieu; from the gate Richelieu I came here, and from hence I must yet go to the Place Royale. Dr. D. My horse has accomplished all that, and I went besides to Ruel to see a patient. Dr. T. Apropos of that, what part do you espouse in the quarrel between the two physicians, Theophrastus and Artemius? for that is an affair which divides our respectable fraternity. Dr. D. I am for Artemius. Dr. T. And I also. It is not because his advice, as we have seen, did not kill the patient, and that that of Theophrastus would not have been better assuredly; but it is dangerous and disagreeable to differ from one's old and respectable authorities. What do you think? Dr. D. Undoubtedly, the formalities must be guarded, whatever happens. Dr. T. As for me, I am severe as possible, unless it be among friends. We were assembled one day, three of us friends, and one from a distance, for a consultation; in which I stopped the whole affair, and would not permit an opinion to be expressed, unless it were done in due order. The people of the household were doing what they could for the sick man, and the malady was pressing; but I would not recede, and the poor fellow died bravely during our dispute. A man dead is only a dead man, and that is of little consequence; but a formality neglected brings great prejudice upon the whole body of physicians. [Sganarelle enters precipitately at this point of their conference. Sganarelle. Gentlemen, my daughter's oppression increases; let me beg that you will tell me what you have resolved upon. Dr. T., addressing Dr. D. Well, sir! Dr. D. No sir, speak if you please. Dr. T. Sir! Dr. D. Sir! Sgan. For Heaven's sake, gentlemen, leave these ceremonies, and remember that every moment increases the danger. [Now they both begin to speak at the same time. Dr. T. The sickness of your daughter Dr. D. The general opinion of the faculty in this case- Dr. Bahis. To reason upon this— Syan. Gentlemen, speak one after another, if you please. Dr. T. Well, sir, we have deliberated upon the malady of your daughter, and my opinion is that it proceeds from a great heat of the blood: so I conclude that she ought to be bled as soon as possible. Dr. D. And I say that the malady is an abscess, caused by too great repletion: so I propose to give her an emetic. Dr. T. I maintain that the emetic will kill her. Dr. D. And I, that the bleeding will cause her death! Dr. T. You are a pretty fellow to set up for a skilful physician. Dr. D. Yes I, indeed! I can beat you at any kind of learning. Dr. T. Ha! Do you remember the man you killed by mal-practice a few days ago? Dr. D. Do you remember the lady you sent to the next world three days since? Dr. T. [To Sganarelle.] I have told you my opinion. Dr. D. To Sganarelle.] I have given you my advice. Dr. T. If you do not have your daughter bled immediately, she is a dead person. [Exit. Dr. D. If you let her be bled, she will not be alive in a quarter of an hour. [Exit. "Original Translation from L'Amour Médecin." THE END. MEARS & DUSENBERY, STEREOTYPERS. PRINTED BY SHERMAN & CO. CATALOGUE OF Approved School and College Text-Books. PUBLISHED BY E. H. BUTLER & CO., 137 South Fourth Street, Philadelphia. Goodrich's Pictorial History of the United States. A Pictorial History of the United States, with notices of other portions of America. Goodrich's American Child's Pictorial History of the United States. An introduction to the author's "Pictorial History of the United States." Goodrich's Pictorial History of England. A Pic torial History of England. By S. G. GOODRICH, author of "Pictorial History of the United States," etc. Goodrich's Pictorial History of Rome. A Pictorial History of Ancient Rome, with sketches of the History of Modern Italy. By S. G Published by E. H. BUTLER & CO., Philadelphia. |