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my wife always generoufly let them have a guinea each, to keep in their pockets; but with ftrict injunctions never to change it. After they had been closetted up with the fortune-teller for fome time, I knew by their looks, upon their returning, that they had been promifed fomething great." Well, my girls, how have you sped? Tell me, Livy, "has the fortune-teller given thee a penny-worth?" "I proteft, papa," fays the girl," I believe fhe "deals with fomebody that's not right; for the pofitively declared, that I am to be married to a 'Squire in lefs than a twelvemonth !"-" Well, "now Sophy, my child," faid I, " and what fort "of a husband are you to have?" "Sir," replied she, “I am to have a Lord foon after my fifter has "married the 'Squire."" How," cried I," is "that all you are to have for your two fhillings! "Only a Lord and a 'Squire for two fhillings! You "fools, I could have promised you a Prince and a "Nabob for half the money."

This curiofity of theirs, however, was attended with very serious effects: we now began to think ourfelves defigned by the ftars to fomething exalted, and already anticipated our future grandeur.

It has been a thousand times obferved, and I muft obferve it once more, that the hours we pafs with happy profpects in view, are more pleafing than those crowned with fruition. In the firft cafe we cook the difh to our own appetite; in the latter, nature cooks it for us. It is impoffible to repeat the train of

agreeable reveries we called up for our entertainment. We looked upon our fortunes as once more rifing; and as the whole parifh afferted that the 'Squire was in love with my daughter, the was actually fo with him; for they perfuaded her into the paffion. In this agreeable interval, my wife had the most lucky dreams in the world, which the took care to tell us every morning, with great folemnity and exactnefs.

It was one night a coffin and crofs bones, the fign of an approaching wedding: at another time the imagined her daughter's pockets filled with farthings, a certain fign of their being fhortly stuffed with gold. The girls themfelves had their omens. They felt ftrange kiffes on their lips; they faw rings in the candle, purfes bounced from the fire, and true loveknots lurked in the bottom of every tea-cup.

Towards the end of the week we received a card from the town ladies; in which, with their compliments, they hoped to fee all our family at church the Sunday following. All Saturday morning I could perceive, in confequence of this, my wife and daughters in clofe conference together, and now and then glancing at me with looks that betrayed a latent plot. To be fincere, I had ftrong fufpicions that fome abfurd propofal was preparing for appearing with fplendor the next day. In the evening they began their operations in a very regular manner, and my wife undertook to conduct the fiege. After tea, when I feemed in fpirits, the began thus. "I fancy, Charles, my dear, we shall have a great deal of good company at our church tomorrow." Perhaps we may, my dear," returned I; "though you need be under no uneafi"nefs about that, you fhall have a fermon whether "there be or not."- "That is what I expect," returned the; but I think, my dear, we ought to

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appear there as decently as poffible, for who knows "what may happen?" "Your precautions," replied I," are highly commendable. A decent be"haviour and appearance in church is what charms 66 me. We should be devout and humble, cheer"ful and ferene."-" Yes," cried the, "I know "that; but I mean we fhould go there in as proper "a manner as poffible; not altogether like the "fcrubs about us." "You are quite right, my "dear," returned I," and I was going to make

VOL. I.

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"the

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"the very fame propofal. The proper manner of going is, to go there as early as poffible, to have "time for meditation before the fervice begins.". "Phoo, Charles," interrupted fhe, "all that is very true; but not what I would be at. I mean "we fhould go there genteelly. You know the "church is two miles off, and I proteft I don't like "to fee my daughters trudging up to their pew all "blowzed and red with walking, and looking for "all the world as if they had been winners at a

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fmock race. Now, my dear, my propofal is this: "there are our two plow horfes, the colt that has "been in our family thefe nine years, and his com"panion Blackberry, that has fcarcely done an earthly thing for this month paft. They are both grown fat and lazy. Why fhould not they do fomething as well as we? And let me tell you, "when Mofes has trimmed them a little, they will cut a very tolerable figure."

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To this propofal I objected, that walking would be twenty times more genteel than fuch a paltry conveyance, as Blackberry was wall-eyed, and the colt wanted a tail: that they had never been broke to the rein; but had an hundred vicious tricks; and that he had but one saddle and pillion in the whole houfe. All thefe objections, however, were overruled; fo that I was obliged to comply. The next morning I perceived them not a little bufy in collecting fuch materials as might be neceflary for the expedition; but as I found it would be a bufinefs of time, I walked on to the church before, and they promifed fpeedily to follow. I waited near an hour in the reading defk for their arrival; but not finding them come as expected, I was obliged to begin, and went through the fervice, not without fome uncafinefs at finding them abfent. This was encreafed when all was finifhed, and no appearance of the family. I therefore walked back by the horse

way,

way, which was five miles round, though the footway was but two, and when got about half way home, perceived the proceffion marching flowly forward towards the church; my fon, my wife, and the two little ones exalted on one horfe, and my two daughters upon the other. I demanded the caufe of their delay; but I foon found by their looks they had met with a thousand misfortunes on the road. The horfes had at firft refused to move from the door, till Mr. Burchell was kind enough to beat them forward for about two hundred yards with his cudgel. Next the ftraps of my wife's pillion broke down, and they were obliged to ftop to repair them before they could proceed. After that, one of the horses took it into his head to stand ftill, and neither blows nor entreaties could prevail with him to proceed. He was juft recovering from this difmal fituation when I found them; but perceiving every thing fafe, I own their prefent mortification did not much displease me, as it would give me many opportunities of future triumph, and teach my daughters more humility.

CHAP. XI.

The family ftill refolve to hold 21p

their heads.

MICHAELMAS eve happening on the next day, we were invited to burn nuts and play tricks at neighbour Flamborough's. Our late mortifications had humbled us a little, or it is probable we might have rejected fuch an invitation with contempt: however, we fuffered ourselves to be happy. Our honeft neighbour's goofe and dumplings were fine,

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and the lamb's wool, even in the opinion of my wife, who was a connoiffeur, was excellent. It is true, his manner of telling fiories was not quite fo well. They were very long, and very dull, and all about himself, and we had laughed at them ten times before: however, we were kind enough to laugh at them once more.

Mr. Burchell, who was of the party, was always fond of feeing fome innocent amufement going forward, and fet the boys and girls to blind man's buff. My wife too was perfuaded to join in the diverfion, and it gave me pleasure to think he was not yet too old. In the mean time, my neighbour and I looked on, laughed at every feat, and praised our own dexterity when we were young. Hot cockles fucceeded next, queftions and commands followed that, and laft of all, they fate down to hunt the flipper. As every perfon may not be acquainted with this primeval paftime, it may be neceflary to obferve, that the company at this play plant themfelves in a ring upon the ground, all, except one who fiands in the middle, whofe business it is to catch a fhoe, which the company fhove about under their hams from one to another, fomething like a weaver's huttle. As it is impoffible, in this cafe, for the lady who is up to face all the company at once, the great beauty of the play lies in hitting her a thump with the heel of the fhoe on that fide leaft capable of making a defence. It was in this manner that my eldest daughter was hemmed in, and thumped about, all blowzed, in fpirits, and bawling for fair play, fair play, with a voice that might deafen a ballad finger, when confufion on confufion, who fhould enter the room but our two great acquaintances from town, Lady Blarney and Mifs Carolina Wilelmina Amelia Skeggs! Defcription would but beggar, therefore it is unneceflary to defcribe this new mortification. Death! To be

feen.