suits of clothes from England richly laced, when Hendrick, king of the five nations of Mohawks, was present. The chief admired them much, but did not say any thing at the time. In a few days Hendrick called on Sir William, and acquainted him that he had had a particular dream. On Sir William inquiring what it was, he told him he had dreamed that he gave him one of those fine suits which he had received from over the great water. Sir William took the hint, and immediately presented him with one of the richest suits. Hendrick highly pleased with this generosity, retired. A short time after this, Sir William happening to be in company with Hendrick, told him that he also had had a dream. Hendrick being very solicitous to know what it was, Sir William informed him that he had dreamed that he, (Hendrick,) had made him a present of a particular tract of land, (the most valuable on the Mohawk river,) of about 5000 acres. Hendrick presented him with the land immediately, with this shrewd remark: " Now, Sir William, I will never dream with you again, you dream too hard for me." The tract thus obtained is called to the present day, Sir William's Dreaming Land.

MASTER OF A PARISH.

As a lame country schoolmaster was hobbling one morning upon two sticks to his noisy mansion, he was met by a nobleman, who inquired his name, and the means by which he procured a livelihood? "My name," answered he, "is R. T., and I am master of this parish." This answer increased the curiosity of his lordship, aud he desired to know how he was master of the parish? "I am," replied the pedagogue, "the master of the children of the parish; the children are masters of their mothers; the mothers are the rulers of the fathers; and consequently I am the master of the whole parish." His lordship was pleased with this logical reply, and made the school master a present.

THE SORCERER ACQUITTED.

A fortune teller was arrested at his theatre of divination, al fresco, at the corner of the Rue de Bussy in Paris, and carried before the tribunal of correctional police. "You know to read the future?" said the president, a man of great wit, but too fond of a joke for a magistrate. "I do, M. le

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President," replied the sorcerer. "In this case," said the judge, “ you know the judgment we intend to pronounce.” "Certainly." Well, what will happen to you?" Nothing." "You are sure of it?" "You will acquit me." Acquit you!" "There is no doubt of it." 66 Why?" "Because, sir, if it had been your intention to condemn me, you would not have added irony to misfortune." The president, disconcerted, turned to his brother judges, and the sorcerer was acquitted.

THE FACETIOUS DOCTOR.

In the reign of George the Second, the see of York falling vacant his majesty being at a loss for a fit person to appoint to the exalted situation, asked the opinion of the Reverend Dr. Mountain, who had raised himself by his remarkably facetious temper from being the son of a beggar, to the see of Durham. The Doctor wittily replied, "Hadst thou faith as a grain of mustard seed, thou wouldst say to this Mountain (at the same time laying his hand on his breast) be removed, and be cast into the sea (see.)" His majesty laughed heartily, and forthwith conferred the preferment on the facetious doctor.

WHO STOLE THE PIG?

An Irish peasant complained to the catholic priest of his parish, that some person had stolen his best pig, and supplicated his reverence to help him to the discovery of the thief. The priest promised his best endeavours; and his inquiries soon leading him to a correct enough guess as to the offender, he took the following amusing method of bringing the matter home to him. Next Sunday, after the service of the day, he called out with a loud voice, fixing his eyes on the suspected individual, "Who stole Pat Doolan's pig?" There was a long pause and no answer; he did not expect that there would be any; and descended from the pulpit without saying a word more. A second Sunday arriving without the pig being restored in the interval, his reverence again looking stedfastly at the stubborn purloiner, and throwing a deep tone of anger into the sound of his voice, repeated the question, "Who stole Pat Doolan's pig? I say, who stole poor Pat Doolan's pig?" Still there was no answer, and the question was left as before, to work its effect in se

cret on the conscience of the guilty individual. The hardihood of the offender, however, exceeded all the honest priest's calculations. A third Sunday arrived, and Pat Doolan was still without his pig. Some stronger measure now became necessary. After service was performed, his reverence dropping the question of "Who stole Pat Doolan's pig?" but still without directly accusing any one of the theft, reproachfully exclaimed, "Jimmie Doran! Jimmie Doran ! you trate me with contimpt." Jimmie Doran hung down his head, and next morning the pig was found at the door of Pat Doolan's cabin. Percy Anecdotes.

LADY HARDWICKE AND HER BAILIFF.

The wife of the Lord Chancellor Hardwicke, having ordered the bailiff to procure a sow of a particular size and breed, and which he probably had long endeavoured to do without success, the man burst into the dining-room one day, when it was filled with visitors of the highest class, and exclaimed with the most exulting glee, "I have been to Royston fair, my lady, and got a sow exactly of your Ladyship's size."

CURIOUS WILL.

Whereas it was my misfortune to be made very uneasy by my wife, for many years, after our marriage, by her turbulent behaviour; for she was not contented with despising my admonitions, but she contrived every method to make me unhappy; she was so perverse in her nature, that she would not be reclaimed, but seemed only to be born to be a plague to me; the strength of Sampson, the knowledge of Homer, the prudence of Augustus, the cunning of Pyrrhus, the patience of Job, the subtilty of Hannibal, and the watchfulness of Hermogenes, could not have been sufficient to subdue her; for no skill or force in the world would make her good; and as we have lived separate and apart from each other eight years, and she having prevailed on her son to leave and totally abandon me, therefore I give her one shilling only. J. G.

BACON ON THE WEATHER.

In looking over some of the works of the great Lord Bacon, I found the following rules respecting the weather; and thinking they may be of use in the approaching season of

hay, have transcribed, and desired you to give them a place in your valuable publication.

1st. If the New Moon does not appear till the fourth day, it prognosticates a troubled air for the whole month.

2nd. If the Moon, either at her first appearance, or within a few days after, has her lower horn obscured or dusky, or any ways sullied, it denotes foul weather before the full; but if she be discoloured in the middle, storms are to be expected about the full, or about the wane if her upper horn is affected in like manner.

3rd. When the Moon, on her fourth day, appears pure and spotless, her horns unblunted, and neither flat nor quite erect, but betwixt both, it promises fair weather for the greatest part of the month.

4th. An erect moon is generally threatening and unfavourable, but particularly denotes wind, though, if she appear with short and blunted horns, rain is rather to be expected.

The above observations have been attended to for several years, and never known to fail.

CURIOUS INSCRIPTION.

Over the door of a house, at Hurley, in Berkshire, is the following intelligence :-"J. B., draws all sorts of teeth, shaves on Saturday, likewise plays the violin, measures land, also shoes and boots maker."

SHEW BOARD.

The following inscription is literally taken from a shewboard in a country village in Yorkshire:-Wrighten, and Readden and Trew Spellen and Allso Marchants Ackounts with dowble Entery Post-skript Girlls, and Bouys Bourded, and good Yozitch for Chillderen.

YORKSHIRE JUSTICE.

Not many weeks ago, two persons were carried before a sapient justice of the peace, not one hundred miles from Ripon, in Yorkshire, on suspicion of having stolen some blankets. Upon hearing the charge, he immediately had recourse to his law books, (not being able to dive into so intricate an affair without them) and after looking into many and conning over the word blankets several times, he very

gravely told the prosecutor, " that he had found that it was contrary to law to steal sheets and such things, but that there was no mention made of blankets, therefore he must discharge the prisoners;" which he accordingly did. What a pity 'tis that such an oracle as this should not fill a more important seat in the execution of justice for the service of his country.

HOW TO GET A PLACE.

A person, who, by misfortunes in life, had been reduced to very low circumstances, and being at a loss to know how to provide for his family, took it into his head at last to wait on a certain Lord to ask for a place. 'The usual answer of "I have no vacancy," was given him; however, this did not prevent him from calling and waiting, and calling and waiting, again and again. When his Lordship sent for him up, and, with anger, asked him what could induce him to behave in so impudent and unprecedented a manner; he answered, "My Lord, that I am impudent I do not deny, for which I hope my necessity will plead my excuse; but that I am so without a precedent I do deny, as this will prove; he then put the following into his Lordship's hands:-" As Prince Maurice was once at dinner, in came a huge mastiff, and took sanctuary under the table; the page beat him out of the room, but for all that, Lion came punctually at the same hour next day, and so continued his visits, though they still continued the same treatment to him. At last the Prince ordered them to beat him no more, and made much of him. From this time the mastiff commenced a perfect courtier, followed the Prince wherever he went, lay all night at his chamberdoor, ran by his coach-side as duly as one of his lacqueys; in short, he so insinuated himself into his master's favour, that, when he died, he settled a pension upon him for life." This pleased his Lordship so much, that in a day or two after he gave the supplicator a very comfortable birth in the Cus

toms.

CURIOUS SUPERSCRIPTION.

The following curious superscription is a copy, verbatim, from the board of a modern Esculapius, a few miles from Norwich:- "Whereas I John Drake of Causton who formerly liv'd with mr Thom Reeve of Weston where I learnd the whole Art of Physic and Surgery too I cures the Itch at