though it be your office to prevent such nuisances, yet you know no man is ever obliged to do his duty.

CAMBRIDGE JOKES.

The late Bishop of Bristol, (Dr. Mansel,) master of Trinity college, disapproving of the young men of his college wearing trowsers in the Cossack fashion, gave an order that they should be discontinued, and short breeches worn instead of them. Upon which a young man archly said, "it was rather strange, that a bishop should contract the loose habits of the university.

BIBLE SOCIETY.

There is a beef-steak club in the university of Cambridge. Some of the members of it having met on a Sunday morning to settle their account, at the Sun inn, being too tipsy to do it the preceding night. The proctor got intelligence of it, and knocked at the door. A young man came to him, when the proctor remonstrated with him on the impropriety of any club being held in the university, as it was contrary to the statutes, and particularly on a Sunday. The young man said, "that no club was held there;" but the proctor observing the letters B.S. on the bottom of his waistcoat, said, “how can that be, sir, when I see you wear these buttons?” "Sir," replied the youth, "we belong to the BIBLE SOCIETY," The proctor smiling at the archness and ingenuity of the reply, made his bow and went away.

DR. PARR.

Dr. Parr, was one in company with Sir James Mackintosh, when the conversation turned upon the character and principles of O'Coighley, the Irish Roman Catholic priest, who was executed at Maidstone for treasonable practices. Every one was eager to express his detestation of the man, and his abhorrence of the principles he professed. Dr. P. alone seemed unwilling to acquiesce in the general sentiments of the company, and thought his conduct not quite so reprehensible. Upon this Sir James, asked how a man of Dr. P.'s extensive knowledge could possibly think of defending such a wretch, and added, "that no human being could have been more detestable." Yes," replied the doctor, "he might

have been much more detestable. He was an Irishman-he

might have been a Scotchman. He was a priest--he might have been a lawyer. He might have been an APOSTATE. N.B. Sir James had changed his political principles, and become a ministerialist.

CURIOUS SIGN.

A periwig maker in the town of Lewes, had a sign painted in the front of his shop, representing the rebellious son of David hanging in the oak by the hair of his head, with this whimsical couplet below:

"Oh, Absalom! unhappy sprig!
Thou shouldst have worn a perriwig.

FINE NAMES.

Humbly addressed to the fashionable world.
In days of yore, when first refinement's light,
Burst through the mist of chaos and of night,
Our great great great grand-mother bore alone,
Such humble Christian names as Mand and Joan;
E'en Arc's heroic Maid the latter bore,

And Maud-a celebrated queen of Yore :
But such the improvement of our modern age,
And such the revolutionary rage,

That oyster-wenches now are Arabellas,
Louisas, Julias, Carolines, and Stellas.

As t'other day, a fish-wife trudged along,
And mackerel most alive here, was her song,
Her dirty, dragged-tail'd daughter by her side,
(Whose beauty with the chimney-sweeper's vied.)
Happening a puddle in her way to meet,
Seized the occasion just to cool her feet.
But dear mamma, in accents soft and mild,
Gently reproved her amiable child,

"Julia, Maria, little imp of evil,
Come from the kennel-do, you dirty devil."

BOMBAZEEN.

As Jack above a draper's shop,

Saw written, bombazeen;

"Here Bet," says he, "I pray thee stop

And tell me what they mean."

"It means fair lady's dress," she cried,
"Who now go naked nearly,

For 'tis so thin, and drawn aside,
'Tis bum-be seen most clearly."

"That's true, dear Bet, it is no less,"
(Said Jack the simple-hearted,)
And bum-be-seen's the mourning dress,
For MODESTY departed."

EPIGRAM.

Whilst Fanny kiss'd her infant son,
"You bite my lip," she cried, "
my dear."
The smiling child, tho' half afraid,
Thus to his beauteous mother, said :-
"With me, mamma, O do not quarrel,
I thought your lip had been my coral."

ULTIMA DOMUS.

Epigram on the Vault of the Duke of Richmond, in Chichester
Cathedral.

Did he who thus inscribed the wall,
Not read, or not believe St. Paul?
Who says there is, where'er it stands,
Another house not made with hands.
Or may we gather from these words
That house is not a house of Lords?

EPIGRAM.

Dr. Watson, the late Bishop of Landaff, took a house in Trumping Street, Cambridge, and near to which was a pub lic house, having for its sign the portrait of Bishop Blaize, who was the inventor of the combing of wool. This sign annoyed Bishop W. much, and he contrived to get it pulled down. Mr. Mansell, then one of the junior fellows of Trinity College, wrote this epigram on Bishop W., who was a pompous man, and of a blustering domineering spirit, and very consequential on his recent elevation to the mitre.

Two of a trade can ne'er agree,
No proverb e'er was juster,
They've pulled down Bishop Blaize,

To put up Bishop Bluster.

Lines addressed extempore to David Garrick, Esq. on his leaving England by the late Mr. Townley, M.A., and Master of Merchant Tailor's School.

When Garrick's steps the Alps have trod,
Prepared to enter mighty Rome:

The amphitheatre shall nod,

And Roscius shudder in his tomb,

Attempted in Latin Verse by the late Rev. W. Sparrow.
Alpinos montes cùm transit ille tragædus
Ingentis Romæ monia adire parans ;
Culminatum vasti quatere aiunt amphitheatri,
Roscium et in tumulo contremuisse suo.

IMPROMPTU,

On seeing the name of George Rex in the list of bankrupts, in the Gazette of the 9th of June, 1821.

Some wise-acres sadly their noddles perplex

To find that a bankrupt they've made of GEORGE REX!
Some declare "'tis a hoax," while some, staunch and loyal,
Pronounce it "a slander" upon the Blood Royal:

Many think it a libel-some say, no such thing,"

And swear 66 a commission won't stand 'gainst the KING."
The KING is no subject—and all ought to know

He cares not a fig for John Doe or Dick Roe.

Tho' he mayn't have a stiver in purse or in pocket,

They can't 'gainst GEORGE REX issue process or docket.

The following notice of marriages was given by the clerk, to the Curate of Foot's Cray, Kent, and is now in his possession.

June 25th, 1796.

To Mr. Stevens.

I wright these loins to lett you no,

To morro morning to the church I mean to go;
If you will acquaint the minister of the plaise,

To morro morning I will shoe my faise.

Pray keep it as closs as you can,

I will bring my bride in my han.

Now 8 o'clock is the time to meet you both there,

So never mind

N.B.-The Bridegroom was a Blacksmith, and living at Sidcup, which is in the Parish of Foot's Cray.

ORIGIN OF DOGGETT'S COAT AND BADGE.

In the year after George I. came to the throne, Thomas Doggett, a comedian, who was zealously attached to the House of Hanover, gave a waterman's coat and silver badge to be rowed for by six watermen, on the anniversary of that king's accession to the throne, and, at his death, bequeathed a certain sum of money, the interest of which was to be appropriated annually, for ever, to the purchase of a like coat

and badge to be rowed for in honour of that day. Doggett, as an author, has left behind him a comedy, called the "Country Wake," 1696, 4to. which has since been altered into a ballad farce, under the title of "Flora," or, " Hob in the Well." He died in 1712.

ORIGIN OF DAVID'S SOW.

"As drunk as David's sow,' a common saying, which took its rise from the following circumstance: one David Lloyd, a Welshman, who kept an alehouse at Hereford, had a living sow with six legs, which was greatly resorted to by the curious; he had also a wife much addicted to drunkenness. One day David's wife having taken a cup too much, and being fearful of the consequences, (her husband being in the habit of giving her a little discipline for her cure,) turned out the sow, and laid down to sleep herself sober, in the stye. A company coming to see the sow, David ushered them to the stye, exclaiming," There is a sow for you! did any of you ever see such another?" all the while supposing the sow had really been there; to which some of the company, seeing the state the woman was in, replied, "it was the drunkenest sow they had ever beheld," whence arose the saying, "As drunk as David's sow."

HONOURABLE DISOBEDIENCE.

Marshal d'Armont having taken Crodon in Bretagne, during the league, gave orders to put every Spaniard to the sword, who was found in the garrison. Although it was announced death to disobey the orders of the general, yet an English soldier ventured to save the life of a Spaniard. He was tried for the offence before a court-martial, where he confessed the fact, and declared himself ready to suffer death, provided they would spare the life of the Spaniard. The marshal being much surprised at such conduct, asked the soldier how he became so much interested in the preservation of the Spaniard. "Because, sir," replied he, "when I was in a similar situation he saved my life." The marshal, highly pleased with the goodness of the soldier's heart, granted him a pardon; and what was to him an object still dearer, saved the Spaniard's life.