You're Not what I Expected: Learning to Love the Opposite Sex"What happens when the romance fades? Are lovers inevitably fated to disillusionment? Jungian analyst Polly Young-Eisendrath's You're Not What I Expected suggests a new and hopeful ending to the story about love between the sexes." "A licensed psychologist in private practice, Dr. Young-Eisendrath follows four struggling couples through therapy and locates the psychological predicament at the root of failure-bound relationships: Actual lovers either don't correspond to their partners' idealized "dream lovers" or they exhibit traits reminiscent of previous unhappy experiences." "Husbands ultimately fail to grow into the model "Hero" or they resemble their wives' "Terrible Fathers." Wives who abandon the role of "Maiden Lover" metamorphose into a twentieth-century witch, the "Terrible Mother." Polly Young-Eisendrath points the way to "mature dependence": an intimacy built on equality. You're Not What I Expected shows couples that dialogue is at the heart of friendship and trust."--BOOK JACKET.Title Summary field provided by Blackwell North America, Inc. All Rights Reserved |
Contents
Introduction | 9 |
Doing Whats Natural | 23 |
Seeing the Stranger in Yourself | 66 |
Copyright | |
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adult afraid anger attack become believe blended family C. G. Jung caregivers Carl Jung child childhood claim conflict couple relationship couple therapy culture D. W. Winnicott defensive self-reliance dialogue therapy disillusionment dream lovers emotional empathic envy equality especially experience express fantasies fear feel felt feminism feminist gender differences gender identity girls Hero heterosexual couples heterosexual intimacy human husband ideal image traces imagine Jung Jung's Karen and Jonathon Larry and Louise Maiden Lover male partners marital marriage mature dependence mean midlife Mistress Lover Mother complex needs never one's oneself opposite sex orgasm parents Patty and Joe Patty's percent person problem projections psychoanalyst psychological complexes psychotherapy rape relational responsibility role separation anxiety session sexual abuse sexual desire sexual pleasure shared social spouse Stepfamilies stereotypes stories strange gender talk Terrible Father things trust understand University Press violence vulnerable woman women York