been performed in the colored regiment, and the sergeants ordered to the front, when the sable orderly of Company A, after coming to a shoulder and bringing his left hand to a salute, forgot what to say, and in that position looked right and left, greatly embarrassed. "How is your Company?" asked the Adjutant. With a chuckle of relief Sambo quickly replied, "Company all well, tankee, Sir!" IN Central Missouri a correspondent writes: Though long entertained with reading the many good things in your Magazine, among which are the contents of the Drawer, I have seen but few contributions from this quarter of the world. Here is one, and authentic: Bill Myers was one of the earliest and most notorious bushwhackers and horse thieves in Missouri; his stealing of horses, guns, and every thing else that came in the way, being all done in the name of the "Southern Confederacy." Soon after he commenced his patriotic career he stole from a Union man one of the finest horses in the neighborhood, and continued to use him as his war-horse through many hard chases, both in pursuit of plunder and in retreat from the pursuit of the avenging Union soldiers, until he was completely broken down and used up. In this condition Bill rode him into the neighborhood whence he stole him, and where he (Myers) had previously lived. Bill had a particular friend named M'Fadden, who owned a fine farm, plenty of fine horses, cattle, etc., and a few likely darkeys; and there Bill went by night, confident of a warm reception and good lodgings for himself and his broken-down horse. M'Fadden was like thousands in Missouri, who "took no sides-no part nor lot in the war" publicly, but would privately aid and encourage the bushwhackers in every way possible, when it could be done without detection. A watch being set to guard against any sudden surprise, Bill entertained his host with many an adventure and hairbreadth escape from capture and death, in which M'Fadden was greatly interested and deeply sympathized. M'Fadden noticed the wretched condition of Bill's horse, the property of a former intimate friend, but now abused as "a black Republican," who had contributed but a very small amount of what he ought to do in support of Southern rights; and urged Bill by all means to get a better horsethat one doing the service and running the risks he Idid in support of "our cause," ought to be well mounted all the time, and that not at his own expense-it being understood, of course, at the expense of "black Republicans." Bill admitted the justice of his friend's averments, but spoke of the risks of taking horses wherever he could find them, the exasperation of the community at that kind of war, and of the injury it had done to their cause, however proper in itself. M'Fadden thought all such qualms of conscience out of place, and urged, "Every thing for the cause; nothing for men." But it was growing late, and as Bill had to be up and off before daylight, as the "Feds" might be about, with many kind wishes and hopes of success each retired to bed, with the understanding that Bill, knowing where to find his poor broken-down horse, would wait on himself when he should leave before the light of dawn. M'Fadden was too much exhilarated by the exciting scenes narrated by his friend Bill to sleep soundly. He was wakeful, and distinctly heard the soft footsteps of Bill as he retired quietly, in order not to awake his friend or his family, or to arouse the suspicion of any thing "wrong in Denmark." But M'Fadden was rejoiced to know that Bill was again safely "at sea" in the bush, and that nothing had occurred to betray him (M'F.) as the harborer of a bushwhacker. But alas for the sequel! Quite early in the morning the contraband whose business it was to feed the horses and prepare for the work of the day came thundering at his master's door. "Master, master! your fine bay hoss, Ned Buntline, is dun bin stole and gone, and dat old broke-down gray hoss what Mass Bill rode is thar in the stable whar your hoss was!" M'Fadden sprang from the bed as if an earthquake was just beginning to rumble, and cried out, "Oh surely, Jack, you are mistaken!" But quick as possible he hauled on his trowsers and ran to the stable; and, sure enough, there was old gray-once the elegant charger of his old friend and neighbor, but now a hated "black Republican," as all Union men are called by the rebels-and his own fine bay was out and gone, "and if forever," "then still forever," etc. If I don't quote right, your readers can hunt up the documents for themselves. But the facts of the case were too palpable to be misunderstood. Bill had taken his friend's advice, and merely exchanged old gray for a better charger. But the misfortune did not stop there. Had it been in a distant neighborhood from the old home of Bill, M'Fadden might have retained "old gray," as a stray waiting for the call of his proper owner, but being right at home old gray, though badly brokendown, was too well known to be retained on the farm, and was accordingly sent home to his proper owner, with the singular explanation that he was found in the stable in place of his own fine bay, which was supposed to be stolen by some unknown bushwhacker. "Well, I am dealing in pens, supplying the New England banks pretty largely, and I suppose it will be proper for me to deal with the cashier." "I suppose it will," said the teller. "Very well; I will wait." The pen-peddler took a chair, and sat composedly for a full hour, waiting for the cashier. By that time he began to grow uneasy, but sat twisting in his chair for about twenty minutes, and, seeing no prospect of a change in his circumstances, asked the teller how soon the cashier would be in. "Well, I don't know exactly," said the waggish teller, "but I expect him in about eight weeks. He has just gone to Lake Superior, and told me he thought he should come back in that time." Peddler thought he would not wait. "Oh, you stay if you wish," said the teller, very blandly. "We have no objection to your sitting here in the daytime, and you can probably find some place in town where they will be glad to keep you nights." The pompous peddler disappeared without another word. A DRAWER lover in Fort Lyon, Colorado Territory, sends us a very good story of a clever corporal: We have in our company a corporal who is noted for being a good fellow generally. One night re cently he was on a "bender," and being very noisy, treaties, and told him he must eat it or die. Bwas visited by the officer of the day (one of our own once more turned his eyes piteously toward the Genlieutenants), and requested to keep quiet and extin-eral, but the cold, wicked eye glancing along the guish the light, it being then after taps, to which, of course, he readily assented. After giving the corporal a slight reprimand he started for his office, but he scarcely got out of the house before Whad the candle lighted and was yelling as lustily as The lieutenant, being "riled" at not having his orders obeyed, returned and accosted him: "Did I not tell you to put that light out?" "Well," said W- "did I not put it out?" "You did; but why did you relight it?" 66 Because," said W. keep it out." ever. gun-barrel convinced him (as he afterward said) that there was fire in it. So with a groan he picked up the crow, and shutting his eyes commenced his disagreeable meal. He worried down three or four mouthfuls, and then stopped, unable to eat more of the disgusting carrion; and the General, thinking that he had gone far enough, told him that would do; and after advising him to be more careful in future what he shot, handed him his gun and told him he could go. As soon as B got his gun in his "you did not tell me to hand he turned fiercely upon the General, and said, "It's my turn now! You eat the remainder of the crow.' This exasperated the lieutenant so that he requested W to accompany him to the guardhouse, there to pay the penalty of disobeying orders. On the way thither he said, "Lieutenant, it is pretty rough to put a fellow in that filthy hole for feeling a little good and making it known." "You willfully disobeyed orders, and added impertinence thereto; you have been setting a bad example, where you should have set a good one; you knew better than to do as you have done." "I beg your pardon, Lieutenant; as I understand it, a soldier ain't supposed to know any thing." "In vain the General stamped, and swore, and finally prayed to be let off. B was as firm as he himself had been a few minutes before. Nothing would satisfy the enraged soldier but that the General should eat the whole of what was left, and which he had to do before B let him off. "The next day the General went to B's Colonel, and complained that he had been grossly insulted by one of his soldiers the day previous. "The Colonel inquired what one. "Why,' said the General, 'he was a tall, lean, ill-favored fellow, with red hair.' "Ha!' said the Colonel, 'I know him; he is al The lieutenant, knowing the truth of the remark, allowed him to return to his quarters, on his assur-ways in some scrape. Orderly, bring B———— here ing him he would remain quiet the rest of the night. immediately.' "In a few minutes the orderly returned, bring A WISCONSIN gentleman comes to the Drawer ing B, who was wondering what scrape he was with a capital Western yarn: I was sitting in Tom Mason's store the other day, and with several others was taking things as easy as possible, when G-related the following story, which I thought too good to be lost. Late "Several years ago the th Regiment United States Regulars were quartered at A, near Niagara Falls. Among the privates of that gallant regiment was B—, a tall, lank, red-haired Vermonter, who was always in some scrape or other. One day he obtained leave to take a day's shooting on the Canada side. He went early in the morning, and hunted all day with very poor success. in the afternoon he was slowly wending his way home, ill pleased with his poor success, when he saw seated on a tree within easy shooting distance a large crow. To level his gun and fire was the impulse of a moment, and down tumbles the crow almost at his feet. Now it happened that the crow was a tame one, and a pet of General C, who was one of the wealthiest landowners in Canada, and who owned the property on which B stood. And it so happened that the General was an unseen witness of the death of his favorite. Enraged at its loss he determined to punish the offender in a manner that he would be likely to remember. So coming forward in a friendly manner, he nodded to B, who saluted him in return. "You've got a fine gun there,' said the General. "Yaas,' said B, handing it to the General; 'that's just the neatest double-barreled gun around these diggins.' in now. 666 "B- -,' said the Colonel, 'do you know this gentleman ?' "What! me?' said B as possible. looking as amazed "Yes,' said the Colonel; 'do you know him?' "Yes, we are slightly acquainted,' said B- (a happy thought striking him). We dined together yesterday!' "The General could hold in no longer; but bursting into a hearty laugh he told the Colonel to let him go, as he heartily forgave him." Ir is told of a well-known American map-agent out here that, on a recent trip in the interior of the island, he was attacked by highway robbers, who demanded his money. Being more prudent than to carry money in the country, they failed in making a haul. "But," said our Yankee, "I have some splendid maps of the Island along with me, which I would like to show you ;" and in a twinkling he was off his horse, had a map stuck up on a pole, and explained it so effectually that he sold each of the banditti a map, pocketed the money, and resumed his journey, better off for the encounter. HIBERNIAN bulls are proverbial; and the following is quite as amusing as some which have already found a place in the Drawer: One of our friends in Putnam County, New York (familiarly known as Hoop-pole County), had engaged an Irishman fresh from the Emerald Isle. "The General turned the gun round and exam-Pat was duly set to work in the garden. It so hapined it carefully, then putting the barrel that was still loaded at full cock to his shoulder, and pointing it at B, said, "You have willfully shot the greatest favorite I had, and now you've got to eat it!' B explained, and begged, and prayed, but to no purpose; the General was unmoved by his en pened that one or two pumpkin vines were growing among the cucumbers; and as Pat spied the pumpkins he cried out, in the rich brogue for which his land is famous, and with the amazement an Irishman only can exhibit, "An' sure this is the first time I iver saw pumpkins growing upon cucumber vines!" "Well, General, I guess I am able to stand the It is needless to say that the General discontinued the conversation immediately. Slick was not fined. AN officer on the United States steamer Florida, off Wilmington, North Carolina, writes to the Draw-pressure!" er: Down here on the blockade we find but little to interrupt the monotony of our life, and are all the more ready to enjoy a good laugh when the opportunity offers. Most of the many landsmen which S. B., of Michigan, whose handwriting is very the scarcity of seamen compels Government to ship illegible, sends us a couple of good anecdotes. The in the navy now see salt-water for the first time, compositor to whom the "copy" was given, finding and, as may be supposed, are novices in every thing some difficulty in deciphering the words, was directpertaining to nautical matters. Of course a stricted to "put in any thing" in place of a word which he watch is kept by us for strange sail. One coming in sight a few days ago which was not reported by the "green-horn" on the look-out to the officer of the deck, was overhauled by that latter functionary for his neglect. "I did report it, Sir." "You did report it! Who to?" could not make out, and it should be corrected in the proof. Here is the "first proof" of the anecdotes: Jake S runs a small steamboat tunabentz, so small stka "passengers are not allowed to shift a chew of tobacco from one side of the mouth to the other, nubp ruc us fast to the dock." Jake is also the proprietor of one of the most charming wives rd hist part of our country. A year ago ike nut mlitl an accident which deprived her of No such person on board the ursd ry her front teeth, girrisg bur mouth, as Jakes aid, very much the appearance of an open sepulchre. Last ship. What do you mean?" fall she went to Boston, mid returned Usis Yviny with her "Why the gentleman who lives down in the mouth full of bran-new ivories, improving her appear. basement there," pointing to Captain B.'s compan-ance tom neh Urat her friends all remarked upon it. Arion-way. mory thrust I remarked to Jake, the trince kos vetum I thought his wife the handsomest woman in town, "Uzlls THIS comes from the petroleum country, and is ogr I, she ought to be; I have just laid out $200 in redecidedly original: pairin' on her." About a year ago a number of parties being attacked with the oleaginous fever resolved to associ- of one of the Far Western States, the U. S. Marshal er WHILE the last Census was being taken I was a use dirt ate themselves together and dig for oil. They se-rotriet roar a Pug de pinified old gentleman, not much inlected a site in the woods, which had been "pros-clined to hard work limustp, although he commended it pected" and highly recommended by one of their very highly in others. In thue fare sat quietly in his of number (about six miles from a railroad station laid fice ma tel bur revirol deputies do all the running about, down on the map, but not yet built), and having etc. One day topik wated in his office, with a number organized, agreed to have the first of a series of pro- of his friends about him, Trew ar interrupted by Ure emposed wells dug, not by contract, as was usual, but brace at a fair widow lady who lived in an adjoining town. She had come she said to enter a complaint against me by day's-work. Having procured the necessary other deputies, who ilrevaid had insulted her with ernest tools, including a compass for guidance in the woods, scandalous manner, Ure musholl asked her what he said, the work was duly proceeded with, and progress tohirt purtiore she declined to answer, hazing mat riea from time to time reported. Calls for the "sinews" expression that he made use of was one that no lady wool were also made, and promptly met until the well heare to repeat, erfriedly in the presence of to marry genwas said to be down over 100 feet, with a good show tlemen. The Marshal insisted refranit tne he must know for oil. This was about the time of the "Annual what Ureer poipian tooz, in order mat ko hught decide ronemer the deputy had given sufficient cause for removal Meeting," and more money being called for, it was at ual. Furolly she said if me amier gentleman brontd deemed advisable to have the well remeasured and withdraw she would try duet muster her feelings ruffiian reported on. Judge of the surprise of the stock-ley to tell him, acanomyly all but the marshal retired loan holders when, to use the language of one of the patriarchs in oil, the force of the oil from below had shoved the hole up to 86 feet! Here was a stunner, and as the well had cost something like $400, and the resources of the Company were limited, matters have ever since remained in statu quo. The latest, and probably the most feasible proposal, is to have the balance of the hole taken up and cut into lengths for pump-logs! A CORRESPONDENT in the army at Murfreesboro writes to the Drawer: We have a case in Company I, familiarly known as "Slick." Slick was passing General Johnson's head-quarters one day, and without any ceremony fired his gun almost in the face of the General himself. "What!" says the General. "Do you not know the penalty of firing your gun without orders to do so?" "Why, no, Sir," says Slick, very innocently. "Well," replied the General, "I will tell you. It is the loss of a month's pay." "You don't say so!" says Slick, and very coolly puts his hand in his pocket and draws therefrom an old greasy wallet, opens it, and offers the General thirteen dollars in greenbacks, saying, VOL. XXVII.-No. 160.-N x* a dying ram, when, with her face crimson with blushes, she whispered in his ear, "He asked me what was the state of my nativity." GOOD old Deacon A-, having occasion to spend a night at a hotel, was assigned a room in which there were three single beds, two of which already contained occupants. Soon after the light was extinguished a man in one of the other beds began to snore so loudly as to prevent his falling asleep. The tumult increased as the night wore away, until it became absolutely fearful. Some two or three hours after midnight the snorer turned himself in bed, gave a hideous groan, and became silent. The Deacon had supposed the third gentleman asleep until, at this juncture, he heard him exclaim, "He's dead! thank God! He's dead!" CUMPTON keeps a nine-pin alley, and one day he was seen leaning up against the outside of it weeping as if his heart would break. "What's the matter ?" inquired one of his friends, who was passing. "Matter enough," he said. "I'm clean done over; my boy Charley's dead. I'm mighty misfortunate in babies. Just as soon as they gets big enough to set up the pins they dies!" And poor Cumpton sobbed on. 1860. "Can't I shell you something to-day? 1863. "Aaron, I shay, have those twenty-five Nice pair of pantaloons, just the fashion, only tree tousan' pantaloons for the army ready at leven o'clock." dollars." 1863. No flour to-day. Shtop! I tink de poys found a hunder bar'ls in one corner. You ask dem." 1860.-"Me back is bruck entirely wid bending over the wash-tub." 1863.-"Indade, ma'am, me neck and arms ache wid the weight of the jewelry." A THE FIRST CRUISE OF THE "MONITOR" PASSAIC. LTHOUGH the vivid excitement follow- | class approach nearer invulnerability than any ing the first conflict between iron-clad yet designed. Of their sea-going qualities the ships has subsided, and fears and anticipations following account of a complete cruise may furhave alike been cooled by farther experience, nish some idea-the ship having weathered the results attained by the iron-mail innovation the gale in which the original Monitor was lost. in naval architecture have been of too grave The story has been transcribed in its original importance to allow public interest to die. form as written on shipboard, leaving out merely such items as could be of benefit to the enemy. First, however, it should be remembered that the Passaic (the second of her class afloat) differs from her predecessor in being larger, more commodious, more heavily plated, and in having one gun of heavier calibre. We could not but expect that the powers of the first Monitor should be magnified to the utmost, after its eventful trial in Hampton Roads, since in every case where a great and startling novelty meets triumphant success at the outset the hopes of some and the fears of others are sure to exaggerate its importance. Had the first at- We sailed from New York Wednesday, Notack upon Charleston been viewed without this vember 26, 1862, bound for Fortress Monroe. magnified expectancy, there would have been The weather was beautiful; but we saw the night far less disappointment at the result. In judg- settle down with some misgivings, for we were ing of powers of defense we overrated those of trying a dangerous experiment. Only once beoffense, and so fell into error; yet of one thing fore had a vessel like ourselves attempted it, and we may be convinced, that ships of the Monitor | her narrow escape was too fresh in our memories. Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1863, by Harper and Brothers, in the Clerk's Office of the District Court for the Southern District of New York. VOL. XXVII.-No. 161.-0 o |