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ing, in a decidedly happy state, and informed the go down there to hire out as de cook. Massa he ask crowd of by-standers on the wharf that he had lost me I know how to cook? I say yes, I cook in every his gun overboard while out in the bay. The gun style. I bile 'em, I fry 'em, I roast 'em, I stew 'em was a very fine double-barreled one. Many expres--in fact, I know all about de cook. Well, massa sions of sympathy were offered him, of course, by he hire me. So one day massa he come down in the his friends, whom he effectually silenced by saying, kitchen, and say, 'Cuffee, we have goose to-day for with the greatest gravity and an air of self-gratu- dinner.' I say, “Very well, massa, we have goose.' lation, “Oh, gentlemen, the gun's not lost. I had In about an hour massa he come down again, and the presence of mind to cut a notch in the gunwale say, 'Cuffee, you postpone the goose to-day.' I of the boat just where the gun fell overboard," and say, 'Sir?' Massa he says again, 'You postpone the pointing proudly to a large, bright notch which, sure goose to-day.' I say, 'Very well, massa, we postenough, was there, he added : “Now get us some pone the goose to-day.' Now, you know, Sambo, I grappling-irons and a rope, and we'll go out and get cook goose every way but this; and yet I did not it!" It is needless to say that that crowd laughed want massa to suppose dis nigger don't know it all. some, and that young T- never heard the last of So I look in all de cook-books; inquire of Kate and his notch and presence of mind.
Jim; but I find out nothing how to postpone the
goose. Finally I go to Charley, the stable-boy, and This is very good, and very like Pat:
ask him. He say, 'Oh yes, easy enough to postpone In one of the hospitals in the vicinity of Washing-a goose.' I say, 'Charley, I gim you five dollars you ton a newly-arrived patient, by the name of Pat, a just tell me how to postpone the goose.' So he say, veritable son of the Emerald Isle, complained of You just dress the goose and bake him well, and being quite deaf. The next morning after his ar- then get a bushel potatoes, a peck onions, a peck rival the physician, while going his regular rounds turnips, a pound of pepper, a quarter pound mustard, prescribing for the different patients in his ward, ap- two quarts salt; boil 'em all and mash up together, proached Pat, who was at the time whistling a tune and spread it all over the goose, making it so smooth called the Irish Washer-woman.” The Doctor ac- and nice that the goose can not be seen. And this,' costed Pat with, "What is the matter with you?" continued he, 'is postponing the goose. And so you but Pat didn't seem to hear, and continued whistling. see I followed his directions; and when massa come The Doctor, a little bewildered at Pat's impudence, to the table and raise the cover, he say, 'Cuffee, how exclaimed, rather sharply, “How long have you is this?' and finally bid me eat the mess; and then been in hospital ?" Pat said nothing, but made he discharge me on the spot." more music than ever. The Doctor by this time “But, Cuffee, you don't say you ate all that mess, began to "smell a mice,” and screamed out at the do you ?" top of his voice, “Where did you come from ?—what "Oh no, Sambo; you see I postpone that !” hospital were you in before you came here?"_but it had not the least impression on Pat, who still con- Down in Woburn, in the Old Bay State, we have tinued to whistle. The Doctor, after reading Pat's a friend who relishes the Drawer, and writes to us in name on his card at the head of his bed, asked, “Pat, this wise or otherwise : don't you want to go home on a furlough ?"
Mr. Editor, -In reading the Drawer in the April Pat's eyes glistened for a moment, when he ex-number I was reminded of an incident that occurred claimed, “Yes, that's what's the matter !"
to me some years ago, by your anecdote of the Scotch About a week after Pat received a thirty-day fur- Statistical Society's inquiries concerning “Marriages lough.
contracted between May and December.”
It was my fortune (or misfortune) at one time to STEVE Wilson was the most self-important young be employed by a well-known Scotch firm of Boston man in my neighborhood. Though recommending in the dry-goods line. Nearly all of the employés others to volunteer, he could not be prevailed upon of the concern were Scotchmen also, and could see a to enlist until
fear of the draft drove him to it. It dollar easier than the point of a joke. It was a runs in the Wilson family to be dark-skinned, and custom there for the employers and employés to Steve is decidedly the nearest to black of all. I re- unite during the winter and have a sleigh ride. One ceived a letter from a little girl of fourteen which of these occurring during my connection with them, thus mentions Steve :
I made one of the party. After a pleasant ride of “Steve Wilson wrote home that he was not going about ten miles, we drew up at the 1.- House for to fight by the side of a nigger. I don't know why a supper. With appetites sharpened by the frosty it is, unless he is afraid if he gets mixed up with air we did justice to the ample and excellent supply them he won't be known!"
of viands set before us; and then, to my dismay, I
learned that each one was expected to give a speech, We are obliged to postpone several well-seasoned toast, or song. I was in a dilemma; for I had never dishes to make room for this from a correspondent of made a speech, could not think of an appropriate the Drawer:
toast, and was not a singer. Finally, after listening Your readers may not all of them have heard the to several of my companions' remarks, which were "Goose” story, as told by the “Minstrels” at their chiefly in praise of our employers, and claiming getting to be quite fashionable soirees.
much pent-up feeling that they could not find words Two of the colored gemmen take their places at the to express, the thought struck me that I might esfront of the stage, and commence a dialogue. cape by a few words of a joking nature. So when
“Sambo, did I ever tell you about my leaving my called upon I arose, and, assuming the manner of last massa ?"
those who had preceded me, said that I felt my ina“No, Cuffee; how was it?"
bility to make a speech, but that I also had my "Why, you see, massa would not keep me any feelings (placing my hand in the approved theatrical longer."
manner upon my heart, and then allowing it to fall “Why would he not keep you, Cuffee?"
80 as to indicate that good cheer rather than emotion "Oh, you see, Sambo, about two months ago Il caused them). Here a burst of laughter that shook the building satisfied me that I had made a hit, and out, “Sit down, Old Timber,' sit down! This I sat down. Judge of my disgust when I found that, hon'ble Court will only listen to one of you at a to a man, they supposed I was pleading a pain in my time!" stomach as an excuse for not making a speech! This interruption spoiled “Old Timber's” speech,
and he thereby lost his case. He was deeply inA GENTLEMAN of means, and an enthusiastic censed, and for months threatened the Judge with a sportsman, having purchased a country residence, good drubbing; but they finally settled it over a began (to the astonishment of his neighbors) to de- couple of glasses of "corn juice," and became fast vote his time to his gun and hounds, instead of the friends as before. culture of his land. After a time an old farmer took a favorable opportunity to make some remarks Two years ago (writes a correspondent), at the upon his course, that was, in his view, not only spring term of the District Court at Topeka, Kanprofitless but devoid of interest. “If you will for sas, Judge Rush Elmore presiding, a witness was one day go with me," says the sportsman, “ I think I called upon the stand. After being sworn the councan convince you that it is intensely interesting and sel for the defense said to the witness-a tall, green exciting.” The farmer consented to do so; and the specimen, and somewhat embarrassednext morn, before daybreak, they wended their way “Now, Sir, stand up and tell your story like a to the hunting ground. The dogs soon took the preacher.” scent of a fox and were off, and our two worthies “No, Sir!" roared the Judge; "none of that; I followed, through woods and meadows and over want you to tell the truth!" hills, for two or three hours. At last the sportsman Just imagine the sheriff, deputies, and bailiffs hears the dogs driving the game in their direction; trying to keep "order" and "silence." and soon the pack, in full cry, comes over a hill that had previously shut out the sound. “There! my An amusing thing occurred in the Twenty-fourth friend,” says the sportsman, "there ! did you ever Ohio. A few days since a soldier, in passing to the hear such heavenly music as that?" The farmer lower part of the encampment, saw two others from stopped in an attitude of intense listening for some his company making a rude coffin. He inquired moments, and then says, “ Wa'al, the fact is, those who it was for. confounded dogs make such a noise I can't hear the “John Bunce," said the others. music!” Effort to convert him was immediately “Why,” replied he, “ John is not dead yet. It abandoned.
is too bad to make a man's coffin when you don't
know if he is going to die or not.” A READER in Nashville writes: We have the “Don't trouble yourself,” replied the others. kindest-hearted man in our town in the world prob- “Dr. Coe told us to make his coffin, and I guess he ably, named Squire Paul. The Squire is a rich knows what he give him.” man, has tenants, sells property, and has many debts owing to him. His agent sued a man for a PASSING along one of our thoroughfares a few debt, and according to law the debt must be paid days since we met a poor soldier, who had lost one of when judgment was rendered, or "stayed” by some his limbs in battle, slowly walking on his crutches. good man becoming security for the payment of the A friend meeting him, cried, debt, interest, and costs at the end of eight months. " I say, Jim, how is it that you went away with The “poor party” applied to Squire Paul to stay a two legs and came back with three?" debt for him, and, according to custom, the Squire “Oh, bedad, I made fifty per cent. on it!" was could not say no, but complied ; and thus, much to the reply. the agent's disgust, became the stayer of his own debt!
HAVING occasion to go to the little town of New
buryport, one Sabbath afternoon I strolled into the Frou Fort Pillow, Tennessee, a correspondent in grave-yard, where I saw the following inscription. the Sixteenth Army Corps sends the Drawer the I have copied it literally, capitals and all : following:
OMNEM CREDE DICUM TIBI DILUXESSE SUPREMUM. In looking over an old number of Harper I came
Sacred to the Memory of Mrs. Mary M'Hard, the vir. across an anecdote of the late Judge M'Farland, tuous and amiable Consort of Capt. Wm. M'Hard of New Circuit Judge for some years in the Northwestern buryport, who amidst the laudable exertions of a very District of Iowa. The Judge was the “Hairy man useful and desirable Life, in which her Christinn Profesof the West," who figured somewhat prominently in sion was well adorned and a fair copy of every social virthe Cincinnati Convention. One Woods, of Bur-tue displayed, was in a state of health suddenly summonlington, was a regular practitioner in Judge M'Far- her friends (and the throbbing hearts of her disconsolate
ed to the Skies and snatched from ye eager embraces of land courts, and was familiarly known as “Old Tim- family confessed their fairest prospects of sublinary bliss ber." On one occasion a court was held at the cap- were in one moment dashed) by swallowing a Pea at her ital of Marshall County. The edifice used on this own table, whence in a few hours, she sweetly breathed occasion was a log building, on one side of which her Soul away into her SAVIOURS, arms on the 8 day of was a large window. It happened that a resident March a.d. 1780. Ætatis 47. of the town owned a jackass, which the mischievous
This mournful stone as a faithful monument of virtue boys had taught to bray whenever they pleased.
fled to realms"Old Timber" was one day “summing up” an im
The rest was hid in the earth, so it could not be portant case in his grandest style—which he imag- read. ined resembled that of Tom Marshall-and when rounding up one of his finest periods the “Mada- The eccentric Judge Natal has lately died, leav. gascar rabbit” protruded bis uncouth head through ing as many personal friends to regret his loss as any the open window and into the room, a few feet in man probably ever did. As a Judge he was singuadvance of the speaker, at the same time braying larly out of place; but in private life he was so goodmost vociferously. The Court immediately sung hearted and exemplary that his most determined boy!"
opponents could not help but love him. We send nice house from the material which was abundant on to the Drawer two anecdotes—the one illustrative his premises. As old age crept upon him he thought of that tenderness of feeling which so often led him to of where his body should rest; and in the rear of his violate the laws in favor of any one who had en- house he built a vault, and caused a statue of himlisted his sympathy; and the other of his quaint self to be placed upon it, with one hand pointing to shrewdness in the solution of difficult cases : the house. The inscription read thus : A boy of fourteen or fifteen had been indicted for
“ Here lies Mathew Tolup, passing counterfeit money. He was in all likeli
Who made you stones role up; hood guilty ; but his appearance and manner were
And when "God took his Sole up' very prepossessing, and at once won the Judge's
His body filed the hole up." warmest sympathy. The latter set on foot a subscription among the lawyers and officers of the court, ONE of our most distinguished Doctors of Divinand then calling the prisoner before him, addressed ity sends the following genuine clerical anecdote to him as follows: “Now, my son, you say that your the Drawer: father lives in Ohio ?" "Yes, Sir.” “Well, if I When the late Rev. Dr. John M. Mason was at let you go home, will you promise me to come back the head of the Theological Seminary of the Associnext spring and stand your trial ?” “Yes, Sir.” ate Reformed Church it was his custom annually to “Very well. Mr. Jones has got some money for give a dinner to the students. On one occasion the you; and you must be sure and come back next company filled two tables, at one of which Dr. Materm and be sent to the Penitentiary, like a good son presided, and at the other Dr. Mathews, Asso
ciate Professor, whose seat was at the opposite end It need not be said that the young rogue went, of the dining-room. Dr. Mason, after the cloth was but did not come up to time as he had promised. removed, proposed, as a toast,“Our absent friends."
One of the students, who was seated near the DocOn another occasion a case was being heard in tor, added, in a pretty loud whisper, “Sweet-hearts which a wife was suing for divorce on the ground of and all.” Dr. Mason, overhearing him, turned toill-treatment. The only fact clearly made out was ward him and said, pleasantly, in a tone that was that both parties were equally bad, leaving it ex- heard all over the room, “Those are contraband tremely doubtful which had inflicted the greatest articles in this seminary.” Just at the moment a amount of ill-treatment on the other. His Honor discussion was going on at the head of the other ta. was sorely puzzled, for he always liked to decide for ble, on the use of wine, and Dr. Mathews, who was the ladies. But this seemed rather too hard a case; participating in it, supposing that Dr. Mason's reand he was sitting in deep abstraction, pondering the mark referred to that subject, rejoined, “Well, it doubtful issue, while the last deposition was being may be contraband here, but it was not so in Paul's read. Suddenly he started, his face clearing up, seminary.” “Ah!" said Dr. Mason, “how do you and exclaimed, “How is that, Sir? What was prove that?" * Why,” said Dr. Mathews, "did that last statement you read? Does the witness not Paul enjoin his pupil Timothy to take a little say that he dragged his wife out of the house by the for his stomach's sake and his often infirmities ?" heels ?” “Yes, Sir; that is the statement.” “Then “Pretty well indeed!" replied Dr. Mason. “Is that I grant the divorce; but (half soliloquizing] if he the doctrine you teach your pupils, Brother Mathews had dragged her out by the head it would have been --to take a little sweet-heart for your stomach's a different matter : I would not have divorced sake, etc. ?" The explosion of laughter that followthem."
ed may be imagined. This at first seems a mere whim, but there is good sense at the bottom of it; for it takes more brutality While the Army of the Potomac was making to drag a woman by the heels than by the head. its way into Virginia a party of soldiers, hungry
and fierce, bad just reached a rail fence, tied their A FRIEND in Mound City, Kansas, writes : borses, and pitched their officer's tent, when four
Your “Yuba Dam” and “Watt, Sir," reminds me pigs incautiously approached the camp. The men, of a similar play upon words. A man by the name on noticing them, immediately decided on their capof Ammidown had on one occasion imbibed too free- ture. They stationed two parties, one at each end ly, and before he was aware he was gracefully re- of a V in the fence, with rails to complete the other clining in the gutter, although not altogether in- two sides of a square; two men were then sent to sensible to what was going on around him. A scatter corn before the pigs and lead them along instranger in pursuit of knowledge under difficulties side the V, when the square was finished and the passing along, and seeing our friend in this condi- pigs penned. A cavalry officer, whose men had attion, accosted him thus:
tempted their destruction with their sabres, came "What is your name, Sir?"
up and said to me, “Ah! the pen is still mightier " Ammdoron."
than the sword !!" “Yes, you are down; but what is your name?" " Ammidoun."
DEAR DRAWER, -Your story of the practitioner I see you are down; but what is your name?" of medicine in his feeble and humble manner,” reOnce more receiving the same answer to his in- minds me of an instance in the military career of quiry, he left him, thinking, no doubt, that he was Brigadier-General Dumont while in Western Vireither a fool or drunk !
ginia. The General is famed for his peculiarities,
not the least of which is his squeaky, cracked voice, HIERE is an epitaph which I do not remember see- which it would be very hard to imitate. One day, ing in print, of one “Mathew Tolup," a stone while in command of his regiment, before being promason, who on commencing life was very poor, but moted, an officer of the regiment ventured to sugby prudence, industry, and economy managed to gest something which he thought would greatly get money enough together to purchase a piece of add to the discipline and efficiency of the regiment. ground rich in stone. In due time he built him a The General listened to his suggestions very attentively, but at the close answered him, in that pecul- ! by the plaintiff or defendant upon retaining their iar tone of his, as follows: “I just give you to un- lawyer was, “Well, what is it necessary for me to derstand that I command this regiment in my own prove?" feeble way."
One of the neighbors, Sol S, missing an axe
one morning, and not being able to find the same AWAY from Central City, Colorado Territory, after diligent search, remarked to his hired man that comes this pleasant missive to the Drawer : he believed Old Wheaton had stolen it. As might
What a blessed thing it is to be able to make peo- have been expected Wheaton soon heard of the ple smile! How doubly blessed are those who have charge, and as Sol Swas not the man to "chaw the happy faculty of scattering smiles over this great his words” (using an expression of his own), a "firstcontinent in such a sad time as this! The wild glens class” suit was at once commenced for defamation of and valleys of the Rocky Mountains are not forgot- character. ten by you in your monthly distribution. Many a The time of trial arriving, able counsel appeared lonely cabin is made to ring cheerily by your ir- for prosecution and defense, and the court-house was resistible presence, and many a sad exile's heart is filled with the friends of both parties, each “ looking made to forget the disappointments and trials past daggers” at the other; and those of the former rewhile laughing with you.
marking to the latter, “We'll see if there is any Colorado would make a return were there a pen | justice in the law.” We give the testimony of but capable of making a report of our "good things” as one witness, Ben Beebe, the last for the defense, and they "turn up." Indulge me while I, who never with which the evidence was closed : made such a venture before, attempt to record one COUNSEL. “What is your name?" or two:
WITNESS. “Bees," The California Second is now stationed at Fort COUNSEL. “This is no time for pleasantry or evaLyon, awaiting orders for the States—or America, sion. What is your name ?" as the boys say. The officer in command of the fort WITNESS. “You know as well as I do. Ben has an exquisite daughter, who occasionally attends Beebe, at home or abroad” (putting his hands in his her father at review. She has a peculiar pronuncia- pockets, and ejecting tobacco juice from between his tion, which was more common in peaceful times. front teeth). Wishing to see the boys perform the double-quick, COUNSEL. “Well, witness, are you acquainted she says, “Pa, please make them tuot.” Accord with Mr. Wheaton ?” ingly the old gentleman made the boys twot for the WITNESS. “What! old Joe there? [pointing, benefit of the fair one-and they twotted!
and, after some little hesitation] know him? I They arrest folks here for hurrahing for Jeff Davis should think so!" sometimes. An Irishman who had enough "mount- COUNSEL. “Well, what is Mr. Wheaton's general ain dew" on board to make him noisy, was peram- character in the neighborhood where he resides ?" bulating the streets the other day, and asserting his WITNESS. “I'd rather not testify to that question, independence of all the Governments in the world, Squire. I'm not the man to speak agin my neighbor.“ exclaimed, “ It's meself that's a rebel!"—(just then COUNSEL. “Please answer, witness. What is he espied an officer a few yards from him, and he Mr. Wheaton's general character; and do you think finished the sentence)" from the South—of Ireland, he would steal an axe ?" be jabbers !"
WITNESS. “If I must, I must. As to general A teacher of one of the public schools of this place character, I think the least said about that the best; told the boys not to go near the recruiting-office. and as to stealing an axe, that's a leading question.” A few days afterward the office was vacated, and the COURT. “Answer the question, witness.” boys thought they might then venture upon the for- WITNESS. “Well, Squire, don't know that I can bidden ground. They were called to account for it, swear the old man would steal Sol's axe; but I'll however; when one of the delinquents, a chap of tell you what I can swear to, Squire : when Old Joe about five, made his defense as follows: “Well, wants an are he is bound to hare it !" thur, the crooters wus all gond away, and we thought you wouldn't care."
ANOTHER incident of the same locality may not
be out of place in the Drawer: Nor many miles from the county town of "Old We have a defunct Mutual Insurance Company, Genesee," New York, and upon one of the roads still drawing its slimy length along, and the dread leading to and not far from the beautiful and some of many who gave their premium notes to the same what celebrated village of that locality, there lived in its days of prosperity. One of its former secin the early settlement of the Holland Purchase— retaries was a popular stump speaker. During the neighbors most uncongenial, and among whom were campaign of 1844, while addressing a large audience several constant applicants to the courts for a satis- --and among the number was Newt S—, a most factory settlement of difficulties and the redress of worthy man and clever wag--the speaker coming to grievances.
the question of a protective tariff, and while annihiThe offenses thus frequently committed consisted lating its opponents, was interrupted by Newt S. in letting down fences for the depredation of cattle with the remark that, if not objectionable, he would and swine in neighboring grain-fields; throwing like to propound an interrogatory. cats, geese, little pigs, and such like, into neighbor- “Most certainly not,” the speaker replied ; “it ing wells ; shooting neighbors' hens; but more gen- will afford me pleasure to answer, my good friend.” erally—and what was regarded as most desirable by "Well, Squire, will you please to inform me the prosecutors—assumed the form of libel suits; dam- difference between a high, a very high Protective ages usually “ laid” at one thousand dollars.
Tariff and the Genesee Mutual?" The frequency of these suits very naturally caused In this locality the question and its effect will be the formation of two sides" in the neighborhood—long remembered. each charging that the other would swear the bark off of a tree; and the first question generally asked An accomplished practitioner of law in Jacksonville, Illinois, having occasion to file in the Circuit We all well the Allegany Indigns except one, C. W. Court a legal paper in behalf of himself and partner, Tongo; he's the best officer we got in our Company-he's affixed to the
firm signature the Latin term “per sick, very bad, but we hope he will get well. C. W. Tongo se"-thus: “Doe & Stokes, per se." His partner he's good man; his kindness to somebody that's all I can't suggested that the term meant “by himself;" and
say about him.
Now I want you write back as soon as you can, to your that, as it was in the singular number, it was not brother Ja Parker. I tell you I want you to write to me, appropriate to accompany a firm signature. Not at Gor dam; if you don't, let somebody write to me. That all at a loss for the correct term, he changed the all.
JO PARKER—for the Union man. signature, and the records there show a paper signed, “Doe & Stokes, per 2 c's!"
LITTLE NANNIE, four years old, made her appear
ance in the breakfast-room one morning unwashed That is no worse than the Mayor of one of our and unkempt, and no arguments could induce her to cities, who, on the first day of his being in office, was complete her toilet. Her mother expatiated on the asked by the clerk to sign his initials (which were enormity of such conduct, and forbade her coming to P. P.) to a document.
the table ; but I gravely remarked that it wasn't of “My vernitials," said he ; "what is them ?” any consequence about Nannie's being clean. “KitThe Clerk replied, “Only write two P's.” tens and nice little girls washed their faces, but pigs
He took the pen and wrote, “Too peze," and it is never did. It was just as well." Nannie listened on record to this day.
“with meek, attentive face,” but with eyes that did
not express perfect complacency, to this porcine sugIf any one doubts that the highest honor and in- gestion; took the plate which her mother handed tegrity reside in the bosom of a Dutch baker, the her, carried it to a corner, placed it on a chair, and following adventure of Mr. Kloptenfussen will be a breakfasted in the most expeditious manner. Then, very useful study. A neighboring family recently catching up her sun-bonnet, she hurried to the outsent to Mr. K.'s bakehouse a rabbit smothered in side door, remarking, as she reached it, “Now I onions, to be cooked for the Sunday's dinner; but guess I'll go out and root a little while !" while this mess stood on a low shelf, awaiting its turn in the oven, Mrs. Kloptenfussen's tom-cat “ KITTIE” possessed in great perfection that pow(whose inherent knavishness of disposition no vir- er common to genius and childhood—the power of tuous examples could counteract) slipped in and de- generalization. voured the rabbit entirely. To remedy such a loss, In her three years' experience of life she had seen or to punish such a crime, would have seemed diffi- nothing more formidable than a large dog, whose cult to most people; but Mr. Kloptenfussen accom- barking filled her timid soul with terror; and when plished both objects at once, and in the most com- for the first time she listened observingly to a heavy plete and admirable manner. Though the cat was thunder-storm she sat trembling and crying, saying a great favorite in the family, and of much use as only, by way of gentle remonstrance, “Too bad, a ratter, his Roman-like master put him to death, bow-wow !-too bad !” skinned and properly prepared him, and substituted On one occasion, being somewhat loudly and him for the rabbit in such a satisfactory manner that harshly reproved by her father for an unusually the people to whom the dinner belonged ate it with startling piece of mischief, she ran sobbing to her great relish, not suspecting that any change had mother, who was in another room in blissful ignobeen made in the ingredients. Here was an unpar-rance of all that had happened, and who tenderly alleled triumph of equity!—the robber being made asked, “What ails my Kittie ?" Sobbing still, she to take the place of the stolen article, and full repar- answered, “ Papa bow-wow at me!" ation being made to the party robbed, without any of those vexatious delays which usually attend the A CORRESPONDENT has handed us the following administration of justice.
for insertion in the Drawer:
A city situated in Massachusetts, on the banks ELLICOTTYILLE, NEW YORK, April 14, 1863. of the Merrimac, is always blessed with a score of Editor DRAWER,—The letter of which I send aspirants for the Mayoralty, and some of them are you below a “true copy," names and date of course ever on the qui rive for an opportunity to immortalexcepted, came lately into my possession. It is so ize themselves by a speech. Not long since one of decidedly Indian in thought and diction that we con- these worthies attended the funeral of a soldier who sider it too good to be lost in obscurity—too good had died in the service of his country, and whose for any thing, in brief, but Harper's Drawer. The remains were brought home for interment. Our “Juvenalia” following are also at the service of that orator thought the long-sought-for opportunity had admirable institution-a strictly charitable institu- arrived to deliver an impressive address, and, caretion in these days, when mirth and cause for mirth fully preparing himself for the task, he attended are sorely needed :
the funeral, which was a private one. AN ORIGINAL ABORIGINAL LETTER.
Just as the mourners were about to remove the
remains from the residence of the family our orator, HEAD-QUARTERS, 1-20 REGIMENT, N. Y. 8. V., after wiping his eyes two or three times with a large
CAMP C-N, NEAR SK, VA. MY DEAR SIR,—I am inform you this time to let you white handkerchief, thus addressed the Mayor and know that I am all right, and I hope it this letter will relatives of the deceased : find you the same. My dear Sir, I want to know why you “Mr. Mayor and friends of the deceased, This don't answer my letters. I want you to tell me what that is a solemn and impressive occasion. The deceased,
who lies here before us in this beautiful coffin, did I being fight to BI-—-kw-r River last week. We had not die of wounds received in battle, but by-bypretty good fight, and I hope we take another
good fight by death.” before this month up. I'll fight the rebles as long as I live in God world--that me--my name Jo Parker-ha, ha, ha,
Having relieved himself of this eloquent speech ha!--if thent so then I make it so-ha, ha, ha, ha! Me our orator sat down, fully satisfied that he had imand John Tongo we can't fight good; we can't shoot the mortalized himself and secured the nomination as rebles any time-we not afraid the emey.
the candidate for the next Mayor.
Nov 6, 1862