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take care," said the king, "that your work gives no offence." "Sir," replied Leti, " I will do what I can; but if a man were as wise as Solomon he would scarcely be able to avoid giving some offence." "Why, then," rejoined Charles, with his usual pleasantry, "be as wise as Solomon: write proverbs, not histories."

A Mot of Rochester.

Rochester said that every man would be a coward if he durst.

Solid Satisfaction.

Joe Haines the comedian, famous for his wit and practical jokes, was one day seized by two bailiffs on the street for a debt of twenty pounds. The Bishop of Ely happened to be just passing by in his coach. Quoth Joe to the bailiffs, "Gentlemen, here's my cousin, the Bishop of Ely, going into his house; let me but speak to him, and he'll pay the debt and charges." So Joe went up to the coach, pulling off his hat. The bishop ordered the coach to stop. Joe said to him in a low voice, "My lord, here are two poor men who have such great scruples of conscience that I fear they will hang themselves."

"I will see to that," said the bishop. So, calling to the bailiffs, he said, "You two men come to me to-morrow morning and I'll satisfy you." The men bowed and went their way. Joe went also his way. In the morning, the bailiffs, expecting the debt and charges, repaired to the bishop's. "Well," said the good man to them, "what are your scruples of conscience?" "Scruples!" said the bailiffs; "we have no scruples. We are bailiffs, my lord, who yesterday arrested your cousin, Joe Haines, for twenty pounds. Your lordship promised to satisfy us to-day, and we hope your lordship will be as good as your word." His lordship saw the trick practised upon him, but was as good as his word.

Millions in It.

A man who had just finished a large consumption of Cheshire cheese at a tavern said, in allusion to its inhabitants, "Now I can say, like Samson, I have slain my thousands and my tens of thousands." "Yes," answered one of the company," and with the same weapon, the jawbone of an ass."

The Perfection of Tact.

Sidney Godolphin, who held office during several successive reigns, and in that of Queen Anne became lord high treasurer and received the title of earl, was noted for his tact, his knowledge of business, and his capacity for making himself useful. Charles II. said of him, "Sidney Godolphin is never in the way, and never out of the way."

Fathers and Sons.

The first Protestant Duke of Norfolk, carrying the sword of state before James II. to his popish chapel, stopped at the door. The king, on going in, said to him, "Your father would have gone farther." The duke answered, "But your father would not have gone so far."


A statesman who had taken the precaution to become a Catholic on the accession of James II. was yet apprehensive lest he had in another matter offended the king. Lord Halifax said to him, "Be of good cheer, my lord: thy faith hath made thee whole."

Well Matched.

Dr. Busby, whose figure was beneath the common size, was one day accosted in a public coffeeroom by an Irish baronet of colossal stature, with,

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May I pass to my seat, O Giant ?” When the doctor, politely making way, replied, "Pass, O Pygmy!" "Oh, sir," said the baronet, "my expression alluded to the size of your intellect." "And my expression, sir," said the doctor, "to the size of yours."

Third Period.




A French nobleman once showing Matthew Prior the palace of his master at Versailles, and desiring him to observe the many trophies of Louis the Fourteenth's victories, asked Prior if King William, his master, had many such trophies in his palace. "No," said Prior: "the monuments of my master's victories are to be seen everywhere but in his own house."


In King William's time a Mr. Tredenham was taken before the Earl of Nottingham on suspicion of having treasonable papers in his possession.

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