Page images
PDF
EPUB

care and thought. And with that change, there comes a sudden acceleration of the wheels of life. You begin to live in a hurry. Your mind gets into a feverish state. You live under a constant feeling of pressure. You think, while you are doing anything, that something else is waiting to be done. It need not be said that such a feeling is, with most men, quite fatal to doing one's best: more particularly with the pen. And if you be of an anxious temperament, the time never comes in which you can sit down and rest, feeling that your work is done. You sit down sometimes and rest, through pure fatigue and exhaustion: but all the while you are thinking of something else which demands to be done, and which you are anxious to do. You will often wish for the precious power possessed by some men, of taking things easily: you may even sometimes sigh for the robust resolution of Lord Chancellor Thurlow. I divide my work,' he said, 'into three parts. Part I do: part does itself: and part leave undone.' But many men could not for their lives resolve to do this last. They go with a hearty will at their work, till body and mind break down.

I

There is no work so hard, to a conscientious man, as that which he may make as easy or as hard as he chooses. It is a great blessing to have one's task set; and to be able to feel, when you have done it, that your work is done; and that you may rest with a clear conscience. But in the Church, that can

never be. There is always something more that might be done. What clergyman can say that he has done for the good of his parish all that is possible for man to do;-that there is no new religious or benevolent agency which by energy yet more unsparing might be set in operation? It may here be said, that I do not in any degree approve the system of trying to dragoon people, whether poor or rich, into attention to their religious duties and interests, which is attempted by some good people whose zeal exceeds their discretion: and that I have no fancy for making a church, what with perpetual meetings, endless societies, and ever-recurring collections of money for this and that purpose, look like nothing so much as a great cotton-mill, with countless wheels. whirring away, and dazing the brain by their ceaseless motion. It is fit to recognise the fact, that the poorest folk are responsible beings; and that intelligent artisans will not submit to be treated like children, even by people who wish to make them good children. And you know that a boy, who has learnt to swim by the aid of corks and bladders, is very apt to sink when that support is taken away. His power of swimming is not worth much. It seems to me to be even so with that form of religion which can be kept alive only by a constant series of visits, exhortations, tracts, and week-day church-services. I venture to judge no man: but give me, say I, not the sickly exotic; but the hearty evergreen, that can

bear frosts and winds. But the faithful clergyman, even trying to hold this principle in view, will find, in a large parish in a great city, work that would occupy him profitably, were each of his days as long as a week, and had he the strength of half a score of men. I firmly believe, that almost all the clergymen I know, do day by day their very utmost to overtake that overwhelming duty. And now and then, there comes a special sense of the clergyman's weighty responsibility, and of the momentous consequences that may depend upon his exertions: and under that stimulus, resolving to spend and be spent' in the work to which he has given himself, you will find him labouring in a fashion that endangers health and life.

Now, it is not right to do that. Even setting apart the consideration of the duty he owes his children, his duty to the Church is to work in that fashion in which he may hope to labour longest and most efficiently. And that fashion is not the breathless and feverish one. Yet nothing but constant watchfulness and firmness can prevent the town clergyman's life from growing one of chronic hurry and weariness. It is not merely his preaching, and his preparation for preaching: but the other calls of duty are innumerable. Pound after pound is added, till the camel labours along with weary foot; or even till the camel's back is broken. It is the rule in large towns, so far as I have known them, that the

clergy shall be overwrought. Not that they are overdriven by the unreasonable expectations of their parishioners; though that may sometimes be the case: but that they are spurred on by the exactions of their own conscience. Then, every now and then, you will find one making a stand against this over-pressure; feeling that he is breaking down; and determining that he must have some leisure. You will find him beginning to take an hour's daily walk; or resolutely setting himself to maintain some acquaintance with the literature of the day. You will find him resolving to see a little of his fellowcreatures, besides what he sees of them in the way of his duty; and wondering if many men know what it is to feel, for days together, every word they speak an effort, and almost every step they walk. But all this is as when you determine to break yourself of the bad habit of walking too fast. You are walking along at five miles an hour. and resolve you shall walk slowly.

You pull up,

You set off

at a moderate pace. But in a few minutes you cease to think of the rate at which you are progressing: and in a quarter of an hour you find of a sudden that you are going on at your old unreasonable speed again.

Going through your duty at this high pressure, you will, in a few months, find what will follow. Your brain gets fevered: your mind is confused: you cannot take a calm and deliberate view of any

:

large subject: and by degrees your heart (I speak literally, not morally) tells you that this will not do. You seem almost to have lost the power of sleeping. And you find, that if you are to live and labour much longer in this world, you must do one of two things either you must go back again to the country, or you must make a definitive arrangement that you shall have some appreciable amount of leisure in town. You may probably find, on looking back, that for a long time you have had none at all: except, indeed, in that autumnal holiday, which will not suffice to keep up for a whole year's work: and whose good effect you have probably used up within three weeks after its close. Yes, you must have leisure a little of it every day: a half-holiday at least once a week. And I do not call it satisfactory leisure, when, at the close of a jading day, you sit down, wearied beyond talking, reading, or thinking: and feeling the presence even of your children too much for your shaken nerves. I call it leisure, when you can sit down in the evening, tired, indeed; but not exhausted beyond chasing your little boy or girl about the lobby, and thinking of the soft green turf of quieter days. I call it leisure to sit down. in your easy-chair by the fireside, and to feel that you may peacefully think, and dream if you please : that you may look vacantly into the fire that you may read the new review or magazine by little bits: that you may give your mind total rest. And to

« PreviousContinue »