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2 FEB 1971






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Nelson.-Ah! who comes here?

Wellington. Most High, Mighty, and Most Noble Prince, Duke o.
Wellington, Marquis of Wellington, Marquis of Douro, Earl of Wellington in
Somerset, Viscount Wellington of Talavera, Baron Douro of Wellesley
Prince of Rodrigo in Spain, Duke of Brunoy in France-

Nel. France! shiver my timbers!

Wel. Duke of Vittoria, Marquis of Torres Vedras, Count of Vimiera in
Portugal, a Grandee of Spain-

Nel. Grandees of Spain alongside of me! Sheer off.

Wel. A Privy Councillor, Commander-in-Chief of the British Army,
Colonel of the Grenadier Guards, Colonel of the Rifle Brigade, a Field
Marshal of Great Britian, a Marshal of Russia a Marshal of Austria, a Marshal
of France-

Nel. A Marshal of France in my berth! never! clear the decks!
Wel. A Marshal of Prussia, a Marshal of Spain-

Nel. Avast heaving!

Well. A Marshal of Portugal, a Marshal of the Netherlands, a Knight of the Garter, a Knight of the Holy Ghost.

Nel. A Knight of the IIoly Ghost! Turn in messmate, here's a berth for you Wel. A Knight of the Golden Fleece, a Knight Grand Cross of the Bath, a Knight Grand Cross of Hanover, a Knight of the Black Eagle, a Knight of the Tower and Sword of Sweden, a Knight of St Ferdinando, a Knight of William of the Low Countries, a Knight of Charles III, a Knight of St. George of Russia.

Nel. What stow all these lubbers in this birth?

Wel. You mistake, I am all these.

Nel. The deuce you are!

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Wel. Titles bestowed by a grateful country: they have nearly finished a monument to you.

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Half a century has passed away;

say, Most

High, Mighty, and Most Noble, Prince, Duke of Wellington, is this just?
But tell me of my beloved child, was poor Lady Hamilton provided for!
She rendered great service to England in the hour of its need.

Wel. She did.

Nel. They did not let her want?

Wel. She wanted bread, and found a pauper's grave at Calais!
Nel. Gracious God!

Wel. Be calm, Nelson, be calm.

Nel. Calm! it is easy for you to preach calmness; but tell me of pour
Horatia-my Orphan Child is surely provided for?

Wel. Alas, Nelson, such is not the case."

Nel. Is it possible? was it for England I gave up my life thus to refuse my only and dying request? On board the Victory (I well remember, tho' half a century has passed away), after I received the fatal shot, I told Hardy I left my child as a legacy to my country. Next to my country, my child was dear to my heart. It was, Wellington, but a little favor to ask, in return for my

ife, o protect my poor girl was all I craved. For my services at Copenhagen. The Nile and Trafalgar, surely my darling child had a claim. Could not the destruction of the combined fleets of France and Spain insure for the idol of my heart, my poor Iloratia, my orphan beautiful girl some consideration? [Nelson wept.]

Wel. Nelson, Nelson, they called me on earth the Iron Duke; you have softened me [Wellington wiped away a tear. It is "too bad."

Nel. But say Most High Mighty and Most Noble Prince, how that you, having such immense power, did not carry out my only and dying request, and provide for my beloved child.

Wel. Nelson, England is a inoral country.

Nel. What of that?

Wel. Your child was not born in wedlock.

Nel. Wedlock! were the Fitz-Clarences born in wedlock? You raised them to high places without the moral test-say, is it just to single me out? Wel. We have a Queen.

Nel. So I have heard, and a Fitz-Clarence, a son of my old messmate William IV., commands her yacht, dines at her table, and is in high favour he is not thought a less able commander because he was not born in wedlock Wel. Nelson spare me, altho' a Knight of the Holy Ghost, I cannot stand your ghostly broadsides.

Nel. I must and will speak, I have been hardly treated. Copenhagen and the Nile were something more than moral victories, and all I asked in return or the triumph at Trafalgar was to protect my poor girl,

Wel. Nelson, Nelson!

Nel. Such ingratitude pains me more than a hundred deaths. The musket shot from the Frenchmam that deprived me of my mortal life, was naught to this. For my country I gave up my life; on that glorious day, the 21st of October 1805, I took and destroyed 20 sail of the line, and then to turn round upon me because my darling child was not born in wedlock, to send her adrift my poor Horatia.

Wel. Nelson, you unnerve me, I never quailed before Bonaparte and his hosts, but you unman me, your words burn.

Nel. Wellington. duty was my watchword, the last signal I ever made, I reminded the Fleet that " England expected every man would do his duty," and nobly Wellington, did they respond, every man proved himself a hero; you know the result. How far England has done its duty, posterity will judge. Half a century has passed away, my monument not finished, and my dear child unprovided for- tell me, Chancellor of the Cinque Ports, Warden of the Cinque Ports


Wel. And Admiral of the Cinque Ports.

Nel. Admiral !!!

Wel. Master of the Trinity House.

Nel. Trinity! Why you are everything in ONE.

Wel. Chancellor of the University of Oxford.

Nel. The deuce you are!
Wel. A Doctor of Laws,

Nel. Shiver my topsails!"

Wel. Lord High Constable of England, Constable of the Tower, Constable of Dover Castle, Ranger of St. James's l'ark, Ranger of Hyde Park.

Nel. A long range.

Wel. Lord Lieutenant of Hampshire, Lord Lieutenant of the Tower Hamlets.
Nel Tell me, Wellington, what you have done for all this.
Wel. I gave the French a good thrashing.

Nel. So did I. Wellington, I envy you not your honours-you well deserved them, I crave them not. Since I have been under hatches in this berth, I have discovered how vain, what baubles they are. Alas! Wellington, all your titles will not give marrow to your bones, or speculation to thine eyes. Wel. Nelson, you ought to have been Chancellor of the University of Oxford you reason well. I have already discovered the vanity of earthly honours. This is a dark hole for the hero of a hundred fights.

Nel. True, messmate, it's a gloomy cell for Stars and Garters; a perfect

black hole. Though, unlike you, I never had the honour to preside at Congress I certainly am present at the "diet of worms.”

Wel Good, Nelson, good-it was thought a great honour to place us here Ihave served a grateful country.

Nel. Although a city man now, I cannot say, ditto. My dying and only request was cruelly disregarded.

Wel. Nelson, your relation has succeeded to your peerage. Your country still has a Lord Nelson

Nel. Lord Nonsense! they are nothing to me; it's poor Lady Hamilton and my child, my dear Horatia, that I wished provided for. Grateful country, indeed! grateful to you Wellington; why, your titles would almost reach from this birth to Portsmouth point. It's a mockery to tell me of a Lord Nelson; I own them not; they suffered poor Lady Hamilton to find a pauper's grave at Calais, she that rendered such service to England in the hour of its need to want bread, and to perish in France too-in FRANCE, Wellington, that France I so often thrashed. Grateful country, indeed! was it for this I perished in the VICTORY? Oh, Wellington, the shot from the Redoubtable was naught to this; but tell me Wellington was not my old messmate, the Duke of Clarence, King?

Wel. He was.

Nel And could he see my beloved child without provision-he a sailor King too? my old shipmate desert my girl-no wonder at the LUBBERS.

Wel. Don't blame the king. Nelson it is the minister.

Nel. The minister, ha, you then was Prime Minister, why did not you remind the king of my poor friendless girl, you well knew my last request? You had vast influence, if I may judge from your long chain of titles, more than any man that ever advised a king. Tell me, Wellington, having the powerwhy you had not the will to carry out my dying wish, and provide for my child.

Wel. Nelson, spare my feelings, I cannot bear this.

Nel. I must give vent to my grief, notwithstanding your feelings. I have been hardly treated. Though half a century has passed away, my love for Horatia has not passed away. If I remember right, on the memorable morning of the 21st of October 1805, I made the following codicil to my will:

"I also leave to the beneficence of my country, my adopted daughter Horatia Nelson Thomson; and I desire she will in future use the name of Nelson only. These are are the only favors that I ask of my King and Country at the moment I am going to fight their battle. May God bless my King and Country and all those I hold dear."

Hardy and Blackwood were witness. I well remember it, Wellington.
Wel. Witness.

Nel. Why you, as a

"DOCTOR OF LAWS," ought to know that a codicil is

not valid without a witness.

Wel. I am a poor lawyer, Nelson.

Nel. I suppose you know we are under hatches here, till called up for judgment.

Wel. So I suppose, any Lord.

Nel. Pray, Wellington, don't lord me-it is a mockery here.

Wel. Nelson! Nelson! like Lord Grey, “stand by your order."

Nel. It would be quite out of order in this berth, Wellington-but who wa

Lord Grey-was he formerly Mr. Grey?

Wel. Just so, Nelson. He was made a peer, and carried the famous Reform Bill.

Nel. 1 recollect him. When Louis the XVI. was beheaded, every member of the British Parliament was in deep mourning but Mr. Grey-so much for his standing by his order. I suppose when he was made a peer

"A change came o'er the spirit of his dream."

Wel. Exactly so, Nelson. He was quite the idol for some time; he was Prime Minister under your old shipmate, William the Fourth.

Nel. Prime, indeed! Would he do nothing for my poor girl?

Wel. Nelson, don't excite yourself on that subject, words are idle-endeavour to forget it.

Nel. Forget her! never! forget my darling child, Horatia? Forget poor Lady Hamilton found a pauper's grave in France? Tell me, Wellington, to forget Copenhagen! the Nile! Trafalgar! Oh, Wellington, would to heaven you had not told me my bones cannot rest-what a mockery-what a farce to bring me here, and neglect my dear child. St. Paul's, and Lady Hamilton wanted bread! a public funeral, and poor Horatia spurned! Wellington, does "Britannia still rules the waves ?"

Wel. Nelson, since your victory at Trafalgar, Britannia's occupation, like Othello's, seems to be gone.

Nel. What, has she taken to rule copy-books instead of waves ?

Wel. Not quite so bad as that, Nelson.

Nel. I suppose, Wellington, she is shar ing something like the fate of my dear Horatia; or, like poor Lady Hamilton, must seek a refuge in France. Wel. Heaven forbid! but France does talk of making the Mediterranean a FRENCH LAKE!

Nel. Ah! what does England say to this?

Wel. As a vain boast. I have strengthened our defences on the coast, and called out the Militia.

Nel. Militia! Look to your ships, Wellington. The defence of England is her Navy-treat her sailors kindly.

Wel. England is very kind to her sailors and their or→→→

Nel. Ha, ha! shipmate. Orphans you were going to say, but, like the "Amen" of Macbeth, it "stuck in your throat."

Wel. 66

Lay on, Macduff."

Nel. "The flesh will quiver where the pincers tear ;" there's a bit more of Shakspeare for you.

Wel. Nelson, I make every allowance for your oppressed feelings, but such broadsides as you are pouring into me oppress me more than Soult in the Peninsula or Napoleon at Waterloo.

Nel. Soult-who was he?

Wel. One of Bonaparte's famous marshals. I thrashed him well and drove him out of Spain, but notwithstanding, a few years ago when he came to London, he came and dined with me.

Nel. The deuce he did-how did he relish the "roast beef of old England." Wel. The very tune, Nelson, the band of my regiment performed while we were at dinner. I assure, you, Nelson, Soult was quite the idol of the people in London; he threw me completely into the shade; but the people are very fickle, they will worship you one day and stone you that day week.

Nel. They never did me.

Wel. Then to tell you the truth, Nelson, they have me, and had I not put spurs to my horse, it is possible IRON DUKE, as they call me, I could not have resisted the attacks of a London mob.

Nel. But why was this?

Wel. Because I would not listen to the Reform cry; in fact, Nelson, to tell you the truth, I declared there was no Reform wanted, and there should bc no Reform.

Nel. That was bold language; did you nail your anti-Reform-flag to the


Wel. Why no, not exactly so, Nelson.

Nel. What did you strike?

Wel. I did; I confess it. The Reforın party threatened te carry it by force. Nel. The deuce they did!

Wel They did; the Reformers of Birmingham threatened to march up to London, and to such an extent did the Whig ministers of your old shipmate, William the Fourth, favour this Reform cry, that they actually invited a military officer in his Majesty's service to place himself at the head and take the command of the Brummagem boys.

Nel. Treason, by Jove!

Wel. It was so Nelson,-and in our days it is possible that the heads who patronised this, instead of being elevated to the peerage, would have been elevated to the gallows.

Nel. I think that gallows likely; but why, Wellington, did the Whig leaders sanction this?

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