On this they both dismounted; and, some say, The ass between 'em; prints, they add, are seen As overstraining an ingenious hint. The copy that we follow says, The man DR. BYROM. THE DOCTOR AND HIS APPRENTICE. A PUPIL of the Æsculapian school Was just prepared to quit his master's rule: Yet think not that in knowledge he was cheated- Was, when a man was well or ill, One morn, he thus address'd his master: "Dear Sir, my honour'd father bids me say, If I could now and then a visit pay, 66 He thinks with you, "To notice how you do, My business I might learn a little faster." "The thought is happy," the preceptor cries; "A better method he could scarce devise ; 66 So Bob, (his pupil's name) it shall be so, "And when I next pay visits, you shall go." To bring that hour, alas! time briskly fled: Away they went, And now behold them at a patient's bed. The master-doctor solemnly perused His victim's face, and o'er his symptoms mused; Look'd wise, said nothing-an unerring way, When people nothing have to say: Then felt his pulse and smelt his cane, And paused, and blink'd, and smelt again, And briefly of his corps performed each motion; Manœuvres that for Death's platoon are meant: A kind of a Make-ready and present! Before the fell discharge of pill and potion. At length the patient's wife he thus address'd: Skill so prodigious Bobby too admired, 'I saw the shells lie underneath the bed." So wise by such a lesson grown, Next day Bob ventured forth alone, And to the self-same sufferer paid his courtBut soon, with haste and wonder out of breath, Returned the stripling minister of Death, And to his master made this dread report: Why, Sir, we ne'er can keep that patient under, "Zounds! such a maw I never came across! "The fellow must be dying, and no wonder, "For hang me if he hasn't eat a horse!" "A horse!" the elder man of physic cried, ANON. THE FARMER AND THE COUNSELLOR. (From "Gaieties and Gravities.") A COUNSEL in the "Common Pleas," In bullying, bantering, browbeating, So having tipped the wink to those Who kept their laughter bottled down, 66 And went to work. 'Well, Farmer Numskull, how go calves at York?" 'Why—not, sir, as they do wi' you; "But on four legs instead of two:" Officer!" cried the legal elf, Piqued at the laugh against himself, "Do pray keep silence down below there! Have I not seen you somewhere, friend?” "Our rustic waggish is, and quite laconic," I wish I had known this prodigy, "Why no, sir, no! we've got our share, HORACE SMITH. THE FARMER'S WIFE, AND THE GASCON. (From "Gaieties and Gravities.") At Neufchâtel, in France, where they prepare Where they were made they sold for the immense But as salt water made their charms increase, This damsel had to help her in the farm, And such a glutton when you came to feed him, That Wantley's dragon, who ate barns and churches As if they were geese and turkeys, (Vide the ballad), scarcely could exceed him. One morn she had prepared a monstrous bowl And would'nt go to church (good careful soul!) So she gave strict injunctions to the Gascon Like my Lord Salisbury, he heaved a sigh, How I do envy you your lot!" Each moment did his appetite grow stronger; At length he could not bear it any longer, And finding that the coast was clear, he quaff'd Scudding from church, the farmer's wife But stood aghast, and could not for her life, Until she summoned breath enough to utter "Holy St. Mary!" And shortly, with a face of scarlet, The vixen (for she was a vixen), flew Upon the varlet, Asking the when, and where, and how, and who, Had gulped her cream, nor left an atom; One answer made to every question; |