have not seen such a virago. I had a pass with him, rapier, scabbard, and all, and he gives me the stuck-in, with such a mortal motion, that it is inevitable; and on the answer, he pays yout as surely as your feet hit the ground they step on: They say, he has been fencer to the Sophy. Sir And. Pox on't, I'll not meddle with him. Sir To. Ay, but he will not now be pacified: Fabian can scarce hold him yonder. Sir And. Plague on't; an I thought he had been valiant, and so cunning in fence, I'd have seen him damned ere I'd have challenged him. Let him let the matter slip, and I'll give him my horse, grey Capilet. Sir And. Marry, will I, sir ;-and, for that I promised you, I'll be as good as my word; He will bear you easily, and reins well. 1 Off. This is the man; do thy office. 2 Off. Antonio, I arrest thee at the suit Of count Orsino. You do mistake me, sir. 1 Off. No, sir, no jot; I know your favour well, (head.Though now you have no sea-cap on your Take him away; he knows I know him well. Ant. I must obey.-This comes with seek Ant. ing you; But there's no remedy; I shall answer it. What will you do? Now my necessity [me Makes me to ask you for my purse: It grieves Sir To. I'll make the motion: Stand here, Much more, for what I cannot do for you, make a good show on't; this shall end with-Than what befalls myself. You stand amaz'd; out the perdition of souls: Marry, I'll ride But be of comfort. your horse as well as I ride you. [Aside. Sir To. There's no remedy, sir; he will fight with you for his oath sake: marry, he hath better bethought him of his quarrel, and he finds that now scarce to be worth talking of: therefore draw, for the supportance of his vow; he protests he will not hurt you. Vio. Pray God defend me! A little thing would make me tell them how much I lack of a man. [Aside. Fab. Give ground, if you see him furious. Sir To. Come sir Andrew, there's no remedy; the gentlemen will, for his honour's sake, have one bout with you: he cannot by the duello avoid it: but he has promised me, as he is a gentleman and a soldier, he will not hurt you. Come on; to't. If Sir And. Pray God he keep his oath! [Draws. Have done offence, I take the fault on me; more Than you have heard him brag to you he will. Enter two Officers. Sir To. I'll be with you anon. [TO ANTONIO. Vio. Pray, sir, put up your sword, if you please. [To Sir ANDREW. * Stoccata, an Italian term in fencing. Laws of duel. 2 Off. Come, sir, away. Ant. I must entreat of you some of that money. Vio. What money, sir? For the fair kindness you have show'd me here, Ant. Will you deny me now? Ant. O heavens themselves I snatch'd one half out of the jaws of death; Prove true, imagination! O, prove true! Vio. He nam'd Sebastian; I my brother know [Exit. Sir To. A very dishonest paltry boy, and more a coward than a hare: his dishonesty SCENE I. ACT IV. The Street before Olivia's House. Enter SEBASTIAN and Clown. Clo. Will you make me believe, that I am not sent for you? Seb. Go to, go to, thou art a foolish fellow; Let me be clear of thee. Clo. Well held out, i'faith! No, I do not know you; nor I am not sent to you by my lady, to bid you come speak with her; nor your name is not master Cesario; nor this is not my nose neither.-Nothing that is so, is so. Seb. I pr'ythee, ventt thy folly somewhere else; Thou know'st not me. Clo. Vent my folly! He has heard that word of some great man, and now applies it to a fool. Vent iny folly! I am afraid this great lubber, the world, will prove a cockney.-I pr'ythee now, ungird thy strangeness, and tell me what I shall veut to my lady; Shall I vent to her, that thou art coming? Seb. I pr'ythee, foolish Greek, depart from me; There's money for thee; if you tarry longer, I shall give worse payment. Clo. By my troth, thou hast an open hand:These wise men, that give fools money, get themselves a good report after fourteen years' purchase. Enter Sir ANDREW, SirToBY, and FABIAN. Sir And. Now, sir, have I met you again? there's for you. [Striking SEBASTIAN. Seb. Why, there's for thee, and there, and there: Are all the people mad? [Beating Sir ANDREW. Sir To. Hold, sir, or I'll throw your dagger o'er the house. Clo. This will I tell my lady straight: I would not be in some of your coats for twopence. [Exit Clown. Sir To. Come on, sir; hold. [Holding SEBASTIAN. Sir And. Nay, let him alone, I'll go another Oli.Will it be ever thus? Ungracious wretch, Fit for the mountains, and the barbarous caves, Where manners ne'er were preach'd! out of my sight! Be not offended, dear Cesario:-- Seb. What relish is in this? how runs the stream? Or I am mad, or else this is a dream:- Oli. O, say so, and so be! [Exeunt. SCENE II. A Room in Olivia's House. Enter MARIA and Clown. Mar. Nay, I pr'ythee, put on this gown, and this beard; make him believe, thou art sir Topas the curate; do it quickly: I'll call sir Toby the whilst. [Exit MARIA. Clo. Well, I'll put it on, and I will dissemble* myself in't; and I would I were the first that ever dissembled in such a gown. I am not fat enough to become the function well; nor lean enough to be thought a good student: but to be said, an honest man, and a good housekeeper, goes as fairly, as to say, a careful man, and a great scholar. The competitors † enter. Enter Sir TOBY BELCH and MARIA. Sir To. Jove bless thee, master parson. Clo. Bonos dies, sir Toby: for, as the old hermit of Prague, that never saw pen and ink, very wittily said to a niece of king Gorboduc, That, that is, is: so I, being master parson, am master parson; For what is that, but that? and is, but is? Sir To. To him, sir Topas. Clo. What, hoa, I say,-Peace in this prison! Sir To. The knave counterfeits well; a good knave. Mal. [in an inner chamber.] Who calls there? Clo. Sir Topas, the curate, who comes to visit Malvolio the lunatic. Mal. Sir Topas, sir Topas, good sir Topas, go to my lady. Clo. Out, hyperbolical fiend! how vezest thou this man? talkest thou nothing but of ladies? Sir To. Well said, master parson. Mal. That the soul of our grandam might haply inhabit a bird. Clo. What thinkest thou of his opinion? Mal. I think nobly of the soul, and no way approve his opinion. Clo. Fare thee well: Remain thou still in darkness: thou shalt hold the opinion of Pythagoras, ere I will allow of thy wits; and fear to kill a woodcock, lest thou dispossess the soul of thy grandam. Fare thee well. Mal. Sir Topas, sir Topas,-Sir To. My most exquisite sir Topas! Clo. Nay, I am for all waters . Mar. Thou might'st have done this without thy beard and gown; he sees thee not. Sir To. To him in thine own voice, and bring me word how thou findest him: I would we were well rid of this knavery. If he may be conveniently delivered, I would he were; for I am now so far in offence with my niece, that I cannot pursue with any safety this sport to the upshot. Come by and by to my chamber. [Exeunt SirToBY and MARIA. Clo. Hey Robin, jolly Robin, Tell me how thy lady does. [Singing. Clo. My lady is unkind, perdy. Clo. Alas, why is she so? Clo. She loves another-Who calls, ha? Mal. Good fool, as ever thou wilt deserve well at my hand, help me to a candle, and pen, ink, and paper; as I am a gentleman, I will live to be thankful to thee for't. Clo. Master Malvolio! Clo. Alas, sir, how fell you besides your five Mal. Sir Topas, never was man thus wrong-wits ¶? ed: good sir Topas, do not think I am mad; they have laid me here in hideous darkness. Clo. Fie, thon dishonest Sathan! I call thee by the most modest terms; for I am one of those gentle ones, that will use the devil himself with courtesy: Say'st thou, that house is dark? Mal. As hell, sir Topas. Clo. Why, it hath bay-windows transparent as barricadoes, and the clear stones towards the south-north are as lustrous as ebony; and yet complainest thou of obstruction? Mal. I am not mad, sir Topas; I say to you, this house is dark. Clo. Madman, thou errest: I say, there is no darkness, but ignorance; in which thou art more puzzled, than the Egyptians in their fog. Mal. I say, this house is as dark as ignorance, though ignorance were as dark as hell; and I say, there was never man thus abused: I am no more mad than you are; make the trial of it in any constant question §. Clo. What is the opinion of Pythagoras concerning wild-fowl? * Disguise. + Confederates. Mal. Fool, there was never man so notoriously abused: I am as well in my wits, fool, as thou art. Clo. But as well? then you are mad indeed, if you be no better in your wits than a fool. Mal. They have here propertied me**; keep me in darkness, send ministers to me, asses, and do all they can to face me out of my wits. Clo. Advise you what you say; the minister is here.-Malvolio, Malvolio, thy wits the heavens restore! endeavour thyself to sleep, and leave thy vain bibble babble. Mal. Sir Topas,- Clo. Maintain no words with him, good fellow.-Who, I, sir? not I, sir. God b'wi'yon, good sir Topas.-Marry, amen.-I will, sir, Í will. Mal. Fool, fool, fool, I say. Clo. Alas, sir, be patient. What say you, sir? I am shent + for speaking to you. Mal. Good fool, help me to some light, and some paper; I tell thee, I am as well in my wits as any man in Illyria. Clo. Well-a-day,-that you were, sir! sense, Mal. By this hand, I am: Good fool, some | His counsel now might do me golden service: ink, paper, and light, and convey what I will For though my soul disputes well with my set down to my lady; it shall advantage thee more than ever the bearing of letter did. Clo. I will help you to't. But tell me true, are you not mad indeed? or do you but counterfeit ? [me That this may be some error, but no madness, Take, and give back, affairs, and their despatch, As, I perceive, she does: there's something in't, Oli. Blame not this haste of mine: If you Now go with me, and with this holy man, SCENE I. The Street before Olivia's House. Enter Clown and FABIAN. ACT V. Fab. Any thing. Clo. Do not desire to see this letter. Fab. That is, to give a dog, and, in recompense, desire my dog again. Enter DUKE, VIOLA, and Attendants. Duke. Belong you to the lady Olivia,friends? Clo. Ay,sir; we are some of her trappings. Duke. I know thee well; How dost thou, my good fellow? Clo. Truly, sir, the better for my foes, and the worse for any friends. Duke. Just the contrary; the better for thy friends. Clo. No, sir, the worse. Duke. How can that be? Clo. Marry, sir, they praise me, and make an ass of me; now my foes tell me plainly I am an ass so that by my foes, sir, I profit in the knowledge of myself; and by my friends I am abused: so that, conclusions to be as kisses, if your four negatives make your two affirmatives, why, then the worse for iny friends, and the better for my foes. Duke. Why, this is excellent. Clo. By my troth, sir, no; though it please you to be one of my friends. Duke. Thou shalt not be the worse for me; there's gold. Clo. But that it would be double-dealing, sir, I would you could make it another. Duke. O, you give me ill counsel. Clo. Put your grace in your pocket, sir, for this once, and let your flesh and blood obey it. Duke. Well, I will be so much a sinner to be a double dealer; there's another. * A buffoon character in the old plays, and father of the modern harlequin. † Account. + Reason. § Belief. Servants. Little chapel. * Until. Clo. Primo, secundo, tertio, is a good play; and the old saying is, the third pays for all: the triplex, sir, is a good tripping ineasure; or the bells of St. Bennet, sir, may put you in mind; One, two, three. Duke. You can fool no more money out of me at this throw: if you will let your lady know, I am here to speak with her, and bring her along with you, it may awake my bounty further. Clo. Marry, sir, lullaby to your bounty, till I come again. I go, sir; but I would not have you to think, that my desire of having is the sin of covetousness: but, as you say, sir, let your bounty take a nap, I will awake [Exit Clown. it anon. Enter ANTONIO and Officers. Vio. Here comes the man, sir, that did res cue me. Duke. That face of his I do remember well; Whom thou, in terms so bloody, and so dear, Orsino, noble sir, Ant. To-day, my lord; and for three months (No interim, not a minute's vacancy), [before, Both day and night did we keep company. Enter OLIVIA and Attendants. Duke. Here comes the countess; now heaven walks on earth. [madness: But for thee, fellow, fellow, thy words are Three months this youth hath tended upon me; But more of that anon.-Take him aside. Oli. What would my lord,but that he may not Wherein Olivia may seem serviceable?--[have, Cesario, you do not keep promise with me. Vio. Madam? Duke. Gracious Olivia, [my lord,Oli. What do you say, Cesario?—Good Vio. My lord would speak,myduty hushes me. Oli. If it be aught to the old tune, my lord, It is as fat and fulsome to mine ear, As howling after musick. Duke. Still so cruel? Oli. Still so constant, lord. [lady, Duke, What! to perverseness? you uncivil To whose ingrate and unauspicious altars [out, My soul the faithfull'st offerings hath breath'd That e'er devotion tender'd! What shall I do? Oli. Even what it please my lord, that shall become him. [do it, Duke. Why should I not, had I the heart to Like to the Egyptian thief, at point of death, Kill what I love; a savage jealousy, [this: That sometime savours nobly?-But hear me Since you to non-regardance cast my faith, And that I partly know the instrument [favour, That screws me from my true place in your Live you, the marble-breasted tyrant, still; But this your minion, whom, I know, you love, And whom,by heaven, I swear, I tender dearly, Him will I tear out of that cruel eye, Where he sits crowned in his master's spite.Come, boy, with me; my thoughts are ripe in I'll sacrifice the lamb that I do love, [mischief: To spite a raven's heart within a dove. [Going. Vio. And 1, most jocund, apt, and willingly, To do you rest, a thousand deaths would die. [Following. Oli. Where goes Cesario? Vio. After him I love, Oli. Ah me, detested! how am I beguil'd! Oli. Hast thou forgot thyself! Is it so long!Call forth the hoiy father. [Exit an Attendant. Duke. Come away. [To VIOLA. Oli. Whither, my lord?-Cesario, husband, Duke. Husband? [stay. Oli. Ay, husband; Can he that deny? Duke. Her husband, sirrah? Vio. No, my lord, not I. Oli. Alas, it is the baseness of thy fear, That makes thee strangle thy propriety: Fear not, Cesario, take thy fortunes up; Be that thou know'st thou art, and then thou art Dull, gross. § Disown thy property. |