MY FAMILIAR. GAIN I hear that creaking step! A He's rapping at the door! Too well I know the boding sound That ushers in a bore. I do not tremble when I meet The stoutest of my foes, But Heaven defend me from the friend Who comes-but never goes! He drops into my easy-chair, And asks about the news; He peers into my manuscript, And gives his candid views; MY FAMILIAR. He tells me where he likes the line, And where he's forced to grieve; He takes the strangest liberties,— But never takes his leave! He reads my daily paper through He scans the lyric (that I wrote), He calmly smokes my last cigar, He opens everything he sees— He talks about his fragile health, He suffers from a score of ills Of which he ne'er complains; MY FAMILIAR. And how he struggled once with Death To keep the fiend at bay; On themes like those away he goes But never goes away! He tells me of the carping words Some shallow critic wrote; And every precious paragraph Familiarly can quote; He thinks the writer did me wrong; He says a thousand pleasant things But never says "Adieu !" Whene'er he comes-that dreadful man- Disguise it as I may, I know that, like an autumn rain, He'll last throughout the day. "DO YOU THINK HE IS MARRIED?' In vain I speak of urgent tasks; In vain I scowl and pout; A frown is no extinguisher It does not put him out! I mean to take the knocker off, Or hint to John that I am gone I do not tremble when I meet The stoutest of my foes, But Heaven defend me from the friend Who never, never goes! "DO YOU THINK HE IS MARRIED ?” ADAM, you are very pressing, MA And I can't decline the task; "DO YOU THINK HE IS MARRIED?" Don't you see a hint of marriage In his sober-sided face, In his rather careless carriage, And extremely rapid pace? If he's not committed treason, Can you see the faintest reason Why should he be in a flurry? Is a circumstance to hurry The most dignified of feet! When afar the man has spied her, If the grateful, happy elf Does not haste to be beside her, He must be beside himself! |