ness is comparable to that of the little cheerful being whose will is governed by the superior judgment of its parents. But this subject is worthy of much more consideration than a conversation between you and myself will permit. Therefore we will close it with observing, that she who desires to govern her children judiciously, must commence her task by governing herself.

MRS. L.-But before you leave me, I should like to hear you discuss another branch of domestic management, though one of minor importance. Many satisfy themselves that the restraint of their tempers towards their domestics is not requisite, if they set them an example in observance of all the forms of religion, and of avoidance of any acts of immorality; but I do not imagine that you will allow such latitude.

MRS. B.-Indeed, example is of the greatest importance to our servants, particularly those who are young, whose habits are frequently formed by the first service they enter. With the mild and good, they become softened and improved; but with the dissipated and violent, are too often disorderly and vicious. It is, therefore, not among the least of the duties incumbent on the heads of families, to place in their view such examples as are worthy their imitation. But these examples, otherwise praiseworthy, should neither be rendered disagreeable, nor have their force diminished by any accompaniment of ill-humour. Rather, by the happiness and comfort resulting from our conduct towards our domestics, should they be made sensible of the beauty of virtue and piety. What we

admire, we often strive to imitate; and thus they might be led on to imbibe good principles, and to form regular and virtuous habits.

It is not within the domestic circle only that good temper should be exercised; it is an invaluable possession even among the more distant connections of social life. It is a passport with all into their esteem and affection. It gives

a grace to the plainest countenance, and to the fairest is an ornament which neither time nor disease will destroy. Every day of life teems with circumstances by which it may be exercised and improved. Towards the husband, it is manifested by forbearance, when he is irritated and vexed; and by soothing, comforting, and supporting him, when under the pressure of deeper and more afflicting troubles. It is shown towards children and servants, by willingness to promote their enjoyments, while superiority is mildly but steadily exerted, to keep them in proper subjection. It is exhibited in every direction, by unwillingness to offend; by not opposing our own opinions and pleasures to the prejudices of others; and it is above all demonstrated by the cheerful even tenor of spirits that dwells within the well-governed mind, and which renders it happy almost in spite of vexations and sorrows.

CONVERSATION VI.

FORMS OF VISITING.-MORNING CALLS.-DINNER PARTIES.

-EVENING PARTIES.

MRS. L.-Having satisfied me with regard to some important points of conduct, allow me, my dear madam, to consult your experience respecting those minor circumstances, connected with society and domestic economy, to which newly married ladies are frequently strangers. It is too much the fashion to confine the attention of juvenile females to the acquisition of those accomplishments which may adorn them for the drawing-room, while they neglect to attain useful knowledge until they require it for immediate practice.

Of the number of these young

women, I must unhappily count myself; though perhaps more fortunate than many others, in having so kind and experienced a friend as yourself at hand, with whom I can hold such agreeable consultations. In the first place, I wish to know, the forms to be observed in morning visiting; in what manner, and at what time, I am to return the attentions of those whose cards are spread upon my table. Some of them, I perceive, have been left by persons whom I very highly esteem; others, by individuals with whom I am unacquainted; and some, even by those with whom I have no desire to be intimate.

MRS. B.-A newly-married woman, on arriving at her future home, will have to send her cards in return for those which are left at her house, after her marriage. She may afterwards expect the calls of her acquaintance; for which it is not absolutely necessary to remain at home, although politeness requires that they should be returned as soon as possible. But having performed this, any further intercourse may be avoided (where it is deemed necessary) by a polite refusal of invitations. Where cards are to be left, the number must be determined according to the various members of which the family called upon is composed. For instance, where there are the mother, aunt, and daughters (the latter having been introduced to society), three cards should be left.

Morning visits should not be long. In this species of intercourse, the manners should be easy and cheerful, and the subjects of conversation such as may be easily terminated. The time proper for such visits is too short to admit of serious discussions and arguments. The conducof others often, at these times, becomes the subject of remark; but it is dangerous and improper to express opinions of persons and characters upon a recent acquaintance; and a young married female would do wisely, to sound the opinions and to examine for herself the characters of a new circle of acquaintance, before exposing her own

sentiments. I do not mean that she should be afraid of broaching them, but that she should avoid the possibility of unknowingly giving pain and offence. When she is better acquainted with the circle of which she has become a member, she will see more clearly around her; and then, as she thinks fit, she may diminish her caution. Friendships are acquired and secured by qualities of intrinsic value; but among mere acquaintance, it is by pleasing manners chiefly that we must expect to obtain a favourable reception. The deportment of a bride, in par ticular, is so far important to herself, that it may decide in a degree her future estimation in society.

MRS. L.-I have often thought that morning visits are very annoying, both to receive and to pay. They fritter away so much time, without affording any adequate return; unless, indeed, any thing be gained by hearing the little nothings of the day enlarged upon, and perhaps of acquiring one's self the art of discussing them as if they were matters of deep importance.

MRS. B.-And yet, when it is desirable to keep together a large circle of acquaintance, morning visits cannot very well be dispensed with. You must be aware that as time and circumstances seldom permit the frequent interchange of other visits, our acquaintance would become estranged from us, if our intercourse with them were not occasionally renewed by receiving and paying morning visits. A good economist of time will, of course, keep morning visits strictly for this purpose; and, not considering them as intended merely for amusement, will not make them more frequently than is necessary. By the occasional appropriation of a few hours, many debts of this kind may be paid off at once, and thus a season for other pursuits will be provided. The economy of time, so essential to the head of a family, will also prompt certain limitations as to the times of receiving morning visits. To have every morning liable to such interruptions, must be a

great impediment in the way of more important avocations, and must occasion the useless dissipation of many an hour. Experience has found this out, or the custom of denial would not have become so prevalent.

MRS. L.-What is your opinion of denials?

MRS. B.-Something may be said on both sides of the question. respecting the propriety of this custom. As the words "not at home" have become synonymous with

66

being engaged," they neither deceive, nor are intended to deceive; therefore they may be employed innocently, as far as regards our friends and ourselves ;* but I am not quite so well satisfied as to the effect upon our domestics, whom in the morning we may desire to utter a deliberate falsehood (according to their apprehension) for our convenience, and whom in the evening we may find occasion to reprimand for one employed in their own service. How can we expect ignorant servants to discriminate between the falsehood which the use of the phrase "not at home" in its literal meaning conveys, when it is employed to forbid the intrusion of a visiter at an unseasonable moment, and the meaning which fashion and custom have now attached to it? I am afraid their integrity is weakened by its use; and the habit once begun in the practice of deceit, no one can tell to what greater magnitude it may proceed. Deceit is a growing evil. To say to it "so far shalt thou go, and no farther," would prove as ineffectual as the Danish monarch's prohibition to the ocean. Yet

* Custom may have rendered this fashionable, but it is radically wrong, and tends to undo all the good principles endeavoured to be inculcated in the succeeding pages of this work. A wilful, known and downright lie cannot be advocated upon principles of honour or morality, and ought to be religiously discarded. Making the words not at home, synonymous with being engaged, is a gross perversion of language, and can only be made so, by a mental reservation of the person who returns such a message, which is not believed by the one who receives it. It were better to tell the plain truth than a lie, and to reply to a morning call, that you are so engaged as to wish to be excused from being seen. This might affront some, but not so many as the other method, and the truth would be maintained without injury to any one. Amer. Ed.