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Escapes from Death.
was freed thence by strange means. The Emperor on a time feasted several of the greatest Lords in his court; they were all seated, when a parrot that was hung up in a cage in the hall, cried out in a mournful tone, "alas! alas! poor Leo!"-It is like he had frequently heard courtiers passing to and fro, bewailing the Prince's hard fortune in those terms: and when he had often spoken these words, the Lords at the table were seized with such a sudden sadness, that all of them neglected their meat; The Emperor observed it, and called them to eat, enquiring the reason why they did not? when one of them with tears in his eyes replied, "How should we eat, Sir, being thus reproached by this bird of our want of duty to your family? the parrot is mindful of its Lord, and we, that have reason, have neglected to supplicate your Majesty in behalf of the Prince, whom we all believe to be innocent, and to suffer under calumny," The Emperor, moved with their words, commanded to fetch Leo out of prison, admitted him to his presence, and restored him first to his favour, and then to his former dignity of Casar.-Zuing. Cedren. Zonar.
In the massacre of Paris one Merlin a Minister, fled and hid himself in a hay-mow, where he was strangely nourished and preserved; for all the time he lay there, which was a fortnight together, a hen came constantly, and every day laid an egg by him, by which he was sustained.—Clark.
A certain woman (saith Jordanus) had given her husband poison; and it seems, impatient of all delay gave him afterwards a quantity of quicksilver, to hasten his death; but that slippery substance carried along with it the poison that lay in the ventricle, and was discharged from the bowels by natural means, and in this manner he escaped.-Ausonius hath the story in an Epigram of his; the conclusion of which is to this
The gods send health by a most cruel wife!
Dr. Cote the Persecutor.
DR. COLE THE PERSECUTOR.
On Mary's accession to the Crown of England, the fire of persecution began to burn: but nearer concerns at home cast the affairs of Ireland into the back ground. At last Dr. Cole, a zealous Romanist, was dispatched with a full commission, like Paul the persecutor, going to Damascus to spread slaughter over the devoted Protestants. On his journey, being waited upon by the Mayor of Chester, he could not withhold boasting of the charge committed to him, and producing from his baggage a roll, This,' said he, shall lash the heretics of Ireland into obedience.' The good woman of the house where he lodged heard and trembled: but acute in her wits, as zealous in the cause, she resolved to play the Doctor a trick, and as he attended the Mayor to the door, and left his boasted roll upon the table, she whipped it up, and instead of the commission, she put into its place a pack of cards wrapped like it, with the knave of clubs facing the back. The Doctor, as soon as the vessel was ready for sailing, passed into Ireland; and in all the pomp of an inquisition, appeared before the lord lieutenant and privy council at the castle, ready to enter on his sanguinary office. The Secretary being called upon to open and read his commission, he was as much surprised as the Doctor was confounded, to find nothing but a pack of cards, and the knave of clubs facing him. The ridicule of the scene may be easily imagined. The lord lieutenant and privy council could not authorise any proceedings without a new commission; and desiring the Doctor to return to England, and hasten back, he jocularly said, that in the interim he would shuffle the cards. But before the business was dispatched, the bloody Queen departed to give an account of herself to God.-Elizabeth succeeded, and the Doctor was left with the knave of clubs.
HAWEIS' CH. HIST. vol. ii. p. 419.
ORIGIN OF NEWSPAPERS IN ENGLAND AND
"The four cardinal points of the compass, marked with the letters N. E. W. S. standing for North, East, West, South,
Origin of Newspapers.
form the word NEWS, which coming from all parts of the world, gave derivation to the word.
Newspapers were first published in England, Aug. 22d, 1642, Journal des Savans, a French paper was first published in 1665, though one was printed in England under the title of the Public Intelligences, by Sir Roger L'Estrange, 1663, which he dropped on the publication of the first London Gazette. Newspapers and pamphlets were prohibited by royal proclamation, 1690, Though at the Revolution, prohibitions of this kind were done away, and the press set at liberty; yet newspapers were afterwards made objects of taxation, and for this purpose were first stamped in 1718, and the number of them has been gradually increasing ever since,'
It is a remarkable fact, which history was either too idle to ascertain, or too much ashamed to relate, that the arins of Cromwell communicated to Scotland, with other benefits, the first Newspaper which had ever illuminated the gloom, or dispelled the fanatacism of the north. Each army carried its own printer with it; expecting either to convince by its reasoning, or to delude by its falsehood. King Charles carried Robert Barker with him to Newcastle in 1639. And General Cromwell conveyed Christopher Higgins to Leith in 1652. When Cromwell had here established a citadel, reprinted in November, 1652, what had been already published at London, a diurnal of some passages and affairs for information of the English soldiers. Mercurius Politicus was first reprinted at Leith, on the 26th of October, 1653. The reprinting of it was transferred to Edinburgh in November, 1654; where it continued to be published till the 14th of April, 1660, and was then reprinted under the name of Mercurius Publicus,
The readers of a Newspaper are divided into the following classes. The illnatured man looks to the list of bankrupts, the tradesman to the price of bread-the stockjobber to the lie of the day-the old maid to marriages-the prodigal son to deaths the monopolist to the hopes of a wet harvest-and the boarding school miss, to every article that relates to Gretna Green SHENSTONE
Portrait of Bekker.-One Bekker, about 150 years since, published a book, with his own portrait, against the existence of Satanic agency in the material world, &c. when the author himself not being at all handsome, Lammonoye, a Frenchman, wrote the following epigram upon him and his book:
Though Satan's own power you've broke and diminish'd,
Had you not supply'd us with one of your own.
A Poet and Pope Clement VII.A poet (at least he conceived himself such) had presented a sonnet of his composition to Pope Clement VII. The pope, upon looking over it, perceived in the second or third verse, a syllable wanting. He remarked it to the poet: but he, without disconcerting himself, replied quickly, that if his holiness would deign to read on, he would perhaps find in some other verse a syllable too much; se that the one would stand for the other.
On Time. The girl of fifteen thinks she loses time.
The apprentice wishes to be out of his time.
The student longs for vacation time.
The mechanic enjoys his tippling time.
The courtier promises at some future time.
The dun insists on the present time.
The cit comes in pudding time.
The leader of a band beats time.
A Mistake-Two footmen, one a Hibernian, the other a Ne gró, along with their masters, having stopt at an Inn, were put to sleep in the same room. As soon as his companion was sound in the arms of Morpheus, Pharoah, out of revenge for some jokes past on his colour over night, resolved, by the help of soot and grease, to bring Paddy's complexion as near as pos
A Singular Character-Bon Mot-A Pun-A Lawyer's Pun.
sible to an equality with his own. This he easily accomplished and went to sleep again. Next morning when the waiter, according to appointment, had, by dint of importunity called up the drowsy Irishman, Pat, feeling either uneasy at the early interruption, no sooner caught a glimpse of his face in the glass, than he flew into a rage-hurled his night cap at the astonished Knight of the Towel-and exclaimed "Arrah now, you blockead and don't you see you have wakened the WRONG MAN!
A Singular Character. The dwelling house of a supposed pauper, who had taken relief of the parish of St. Mary Magdalene, in Colchester, for nine years past, to the amount of £42:7 was lately searched, under circumstances which led to a supposition that he had sufficient property to support himself, when the sum of £189: 7: 6 was discovered hoarded up in the premises, together with seven chests, having from three to six locks, and containing the following articles of wearing apparel: 32 coats, 36 pair of breeches and pantaloons, 33 pair of stockings, 20 shirts, 6 hats, 18 pair of boots and shoes, 7 pair of shoe buckles, 14 silk and other handkerchiefs &c. all of which it appeared he had regularly purchased at different periods, and which were of the best quality.
Bon Mot.-A lady lately returned a pair of shoes to the maker because they were not fellows. Crispin flew to his customer, and with all imaginable meekness, assured her that he had carefully studied both her taste, and inclination, as he knew she was not fond of fellows. It is needless to say, that the shoes were not thrown upon his hands, for where his last failed, his wit succeedded." I took the measure of her foot."
A Pun.-The word expedition is connected with haste, or speed. The meaning may be illustrated by the answer a ge ntleman received some time ago on the Northern road, when he overtook a boy loitering on a horse." Post-boy why don't you get on a little quicker.”—Sir, I am not the post, I am only an express!
A Lawyer's Pun.-An eminent counsellor me cting á friend who had come to town a few hours asked him the cause of his