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Toby, the kindest soul in all the town,
He waited full two minutes more ;—and then, Says Toby, "If he's deaf, I'm not to blame; "I'll pull it for the gentleman again.”
But the first peal 'woke Isaac in a fright,
At length, he, wisely, to himself doth say,-calming his fears,"Tush! 'tis some fool has rung and run away;" When peal the second rattled in his ears!
Shove jumped into the middle of the floor;
And, trembling at each breath of air that stirred, He groped down stairs, and opened the street-door, While Toby was performing peal the third.
Isaac eyed Toby, fearfully askant,
And saw he was a strapper stout and tall,
Then put this question ;-" Pray, sir, what d'ye want ?”
"Want nothing!-Sir, you've pulled my bell, I vow, "As if you'd jerk it off the wire."
Quoth Toby,-gravely making him a bow,— "I pulled it, sir, at your desire."
"At mine !"—"Yes, your's; I hope I've done it well;
5. THE CHAMELEON.
OFT has it been my lot to mark
Whatever word you chance to drop,
Two travellers of such a cast, As o'er Arabia's wilds they past, And on their way in friendly chat, Now talked of this and then of that, Discoursed a while, 'mongst other matter, Of the Chameleon's form and nature. "A stranger animal,” cries one, "Sure never lived beneath the sun: "A lizard's body lean and long, "A fish's head, a serpent's tongue, "Its foot with triple claw disjoined ; "And what a length of tail behind! "How slow its pace! and then its hue"Who ever saw so fine a blue ?"
"Hold there!" the other quick replies, "'Tis green-I saw it with these eyes, "As late with open mouth it lay, "And warmed it in the sunny ray ; "Stretched at its ease the beast I viewed, "And saw it eat the air for food."
"I've seen it, sir, as well as you, "And must again affirm it blue. "At leisure I the beast surveyed, "Extended in the cooling shade."
" 'Tis green, 'tis green, sir, I assure ye”-
So high at last the contest rose,
66 Sirs," cries the umpire, cease your pother "The creature's neither one nor t'other, "I caught the animal last night, "And viewed it o'er by candlelight :
"I marked it well-'twas black as jet-
He said; then full before their sight
6. THE NEWCASTLE APOTHECARY
A MAN in many a country town we know,
Yet some affirm, no enemies they are;
Though the Apothecary fights with death, Still they're sworn friends to one another.
A member of the Esculapian line,
His fame full six miles round the country ran,
Benjamin Bolus, though in trade,
(Which oftentimes will genius fetter),
Read works of fancy, it is said,
And why should this be thought so odd ?
Bolus loved verse, and took so much delight in't,
No opportunity he e'er let pass
Of writing the directions on his labels, In dapper couplets, like Gay's Fables ; Or rather like the lines in Hudibras.
Apothecary's verse !-and where's the treason?
He had a patient lying at death's door,
Some three miles from the town, it might be four; To whom, one evening, Bolus sent an article,
In pharmacy, that's called cathartical. And on the label of the stuff
He wrote this verse;
Knocks of this kind
Are given by gentlemen who teach to dance;
One loud, and then a little one behind,
The servant let him in, with dismal face,
"Well, how's the patient?" Bolus said. John shook his head. "Indeed?-hum !-ha!-that's very odd; "He took the draught?"-John gave a nod! "Well-how?-What then?-Speak out, you dunce !"66 Why then," says John, we shook him once." "Shook him!-how?" Bolus stammered out: "We jolted him about."
"Zounds !-shake a patient, man-a shake won't do." 66 No, sir-and so we gave him two.'
"Two shakes!-odds curse!
""Twould make the patient worse."
"It did so, sir-and so a third we tried."
r Well, and what then ?"—" Then, sir, my master-died.”