Bull's. And yet none of these people would believe that I had ever lifted a finger for Virginia or Orange County. They did not so much as know my name-had never heard of me. At last I became such a nuisance on the platform, button-holed people so and spluttered in their faces so that they sent me to the poor-house, and put me in the care of a badtempered old pauper woman, who abused me, and scratched me until my face resembled the old American flag a half-mast in a calm. And there one day I died of a surfeit of cornfield peas.

The only notice made of me in the Gordonsville Gazette, edited by Drinkard,* was this:

"Moses Adams, a pauper, died at the poor-house yesterday soon after dinner. He was very old-said to be upwards of one hundred-and labored under the delusion that he had been enormously rich. His knowledge of grammar was defective."

At my request they buried me in the middle of the road. It was a good road, and I had the satisfaction of knowing that every day some jolly party would pass over my head on the way to a good eating-place—the place they call Phil Jones's.

*Great-grandson of W. F. Drinkard, a powerful and uncompassionate etymological, meteorological Richmond Dispatchist of a long previous period.

MOZIS GOES TO THE GUV'NER'S BALL.*

"IS

you a goin?" she remarkt.

And I sais, severe, "Madam," I sais, "that's a pritty questun. Befo I were married I had plenty uv clothes, but now

"You has sich luvly childun," she anserd, tryin to suthe my rath.

"Yes," I sais, "and so menny uv um. Nine is enuf. But I can't war nun uv um to the Guv'ner's ball; a charmin dress suit they'd make, hung round my neck, wouldn't they?"

"Never mine," she sais, sweetly; "I'll fix you." So when nite cum, and I got hoam frum the Treddygy, whar I wux as a pudler in the furnis, lo and behole! thar wuz a nise black suit. I got mad as fier. Sais I, "You're dun gone and spent a year's wages on your foolishniss. I've got a good mine

"Shet yo' mouth," she sais, and laid her blessid hand on the cussin orryfiss.

"Why!" I ixclaimed, "this is the kote Jimkins lent me three munths ago; the pants and vess is good, but the kote-consoun it!—is that slik you

* A very handsome entertainment given in the winter of 1871, by Governor G. C. Walker.

kin see yo face in the lappels." And I were fit to cry with raige.

"Be eezy," she sais; "I'm a gointer ink it."

out.

"Ink, thunderation and green lightnin!" I blazed

But just then a noble and beautiful lady cum in to help fix my fo-fifths up, and they sent me doun into the kitchin. I left um a inkin Jimkins' kote, my hart very hevvy.

My cook are a culled lady, name Mrs. Baxter. She don't like nobody to cum in her kitchin. I apollygized humbly, but she said nuthin, but nockt over all the pots and pans that wuz handy to her feet, and I set doun under a ringin wet garmint on a klothes line, and let it dreen and dreen doun the back uv my nake in peace. Mrs. Baxter knocked over another pan. I got ixsited, but darsn't say a word to her; so I went to the door and bawled: "How 'bout that kote?"

The answer cum down cheerful: "Gittin' on finely." I felt better, ontwell a nigger man with a lerned arr and a spellin book in his hand cum in, and said, -he drawed it long throo his nose,-"Laady, a goo-ood eva-ning to you-oo. How is you-oo this-ah eva-ning-ah, my littel lam'? Has you got yo lessin, this eav-ning-ah?"

She hilt her frock in one hand and a dish kloth in the uther, and curtchin doun to the very floor, she said, lookin savidge at me, "I thanky, no; I hasn't got it yet."

Then, pintin at me, she says: "Revrunt Darkter

Brown, this ar the white man whar I livs with; take a cheer."

Revrunt Darkter Brown set down, and he glared at me like he wisht I wuz in hell, coz I coodn't spell well.

Mrs. Baxter then nockt over anuther pot.

I jumpt up, rusht to the door, and shouted, "How bout that kote?"

"Ink takin finely; you wouldn't know the kote."

I set down agin, silunt but ruther mad. Revrunt Darkter Brown, he were silunt, too. But Mrs. Baxter she took it upon herself to nock over mo pots and pans than ever.

It were mo than I cood bar; I had dun stood enuf. I riz.

Sais I, "Mrs. Baxter, I'm afeerd uv you, but I'll be teetotally dadshimed if you make anuther speck uv nois ef I don't job you up that stove, and ram Revrunt Darkter Brown in arfter you.

Rev. Brown, he left.

Mrs. Baxter, she shet up.

Then they hollered for me to cum up stars.

As fur the kote, it wuz like new; but as fur my wife, she wuz luvly. All the gearls in the naborhood wuz a gazin at her with envy.

I went for her like a loblolly member for a ralerode charter.

Then they all farly yelled: "Stop! don't tech her, you'll derange her har.”

"Derange her har!" I sais. "I be dog ef it ain't ravin distracted now, with all them ar qurly kews."

And she lookt so pritty, I went for her agin, wanten to kiss her. But the beautiful lady who had fixt her up so nicely heistid a shuvel and hilt me off at arm's lenth, and I had to giv it up for the prezint.

The walkin bein bad, I hired a dray, put two 3 legg stools in it, and we went comfortable and in stile, I tell you.

The Guv'ner's house wuz lit up brillyunt. Everything wuz trewly magnifersent, and mo grand ladies and distinguisht men than thar is in the whole worl. I thot so, enyhow. I didn't feel skeerd much till I thot about Jimkin's kote, and then I wuz afeerd to stand sideways or any other ways, leest them shiny places mout be seen; and every feller that lookt hard at me I got mad at him.

But the fust thing I knewd I was interduced to the Guv'ner himself.

And I raised my eyes and kep on a raisin uv um twill at last I got to the top uv him, and I sais out loud, in the ixsitement uv the momunt, I sais: "Well! if you ain't a good lookin man, like Soll the King of Izreel, I don't know."

He lafft, and so did evrybody else; and then I were interdused to a sweet littel lady by his side. Not knowin how to opin conversashun very well, I sais: "Mrs. Guv'ner, did you know this were Jimkins' ole kote I got on? We all inkt it to-night, and I kin tell you how you kin fix up the Guv'ner's old kotes good as bran new, and won't charge you nuthin, neether."