Ape. Thou art proud Apemantus?

Ape. Of nothing so much, as that I am not like Timon.
Tim. Whether art going?

Ape. To knocke out an honest Athenians braines.

Tim. That's a deed thou't dye for.

Ape. Right, if doing nothing be death by th'Law.
Tim. How lik'st thou this picture Apemantus?

Ape. The best, for the innocence.

Tim. Wrought he not well that painted it.

Ape. He wrought better that made the Painter, and yet he's but a filthy peece of worke.

Pain. Y'are a Dogge.

Ape. Thy Mothers of my generation: what's she, if I be a Dogge?

Tim. Wilt dine with me Apemantus ?

Ape. No: I eate not Lords.

Tim. And thou should'st, thoud'st anger Ladies.

Ape. O they eate Lords;

So they come by great bellies.

Tim. That's a lascivious apprehension.

Ape. So, thou apprehend'st it,

Take it for thy labour.

Tim. How dost thou like this Jewell, Apemantus ?

Ape. Not so well as plain-dealing, which wil not cast a man a Doit.

Tim. What dost thou thinke 'tis worth?

Ape. Not worth my thinking.

How now Poet?

Poet. How now Philosopher?

Ape. Thou lyest.

Poet. Art not one?

Ape. Yes.

Poet. Then I lye not.
Ape. Art not a Poet?
Poet. Yes.

Ape. Then thou lyest:

Looke in thy last worke, where thou hast feign'd him a worthy Fellow.

Poet. That's not feign'd, he is so.

Ape. Yes he is worthy of thee, and to pay thee for thy labour.

He that loves to be flattered, is worthy o'th flatterer.

that I were a Lord.

Tim. What wouldst do then Apemantus ?

Heavens,

Ape. E'ne as Apemantus does now, hate a Lord with my

heart.

Ape. That I had no angry wit to be a Lord.

Art not thou a Merchant ?

Mer. I Apemantus.

Ape. Traffick confound thee, if the Gods will not.
Mer. If Trafficke do it, the Gods do it.

Ape. Traffickes thy God, & thy God confound thee.

Trumpet sounds. Enter a Messenger.

Tim. What Trumpets that?

Mes. 'Tis Alcibiades, and some twenty Horse

All of Companionship.

Tim. Pray entertaine them, give them guide to us.
You must needs dine with me: go not you hence
Till I have thankt you: when dinners done
Shew me this peece, I am joyfull of your sights.
Enter Alcibiades with the rest.

Most welcome Sir.

:

Ape. So, so; their Aches contract, and sterve your supple joynts that there should bee small love amongest these sweet Knaves, and all this Curtesie. The straine of mans bred out into Baboon and Monkey.

Alc. Sir, you have sav'd my longing, and I feed

Most hungerly on your sight.

Tim. Right welcome Sir:

Ere we depart, wee'l share a bounteous time

In different pleasures.

Pray you let us in.

Enter two Lords.

1. Lord. What time a day is't Apemantus ?

Ape. Time to be honest.

1 That time serves still.

Ape. The most accursed thou that still omitst it.

2 Thou art going to Lord Timons Feast.

Ape. I, to see meate fill Knaves, and Wine heat fooles.

2 Farthee well, farthee well.

Ape. Thou art a Foole to bid me farewell twice.

2 Why Apemantus ?

Exeunt.

Ape. Should'st have kept one to thy selfe, for I meane to give

thee none.

I Hang thy selfe.

Ape. No I will do nothing at thy bidding:

Make thy requests to thy Friend.

2 Away unpeaceable Dogge,

Or Ile spurne thee hence.

Ape. I will flye like a dogge, the heeles a'th'Asse.

Hee's opposite to humanity.

Comes shall we in,

And taste Lord Timons bountie: he out-goes
The verie heart of kindnesse.

2 He
powres it out: Plutus the God of Gold
Is but his Steward: no meede but he repayes
Seven-fold above it selfe: No guift to him,
But breeds the giver a returne: exceeding
All use of quittance.

I The Noblest minde he carries, That ever govern'd man.

2 Long may he live in Fortunes. Shall we in?

Ile keepe you Company.

Hoboyes Playing lowd Musicke.

Exeunt.

A great Banquet serv'd in: and then, Enter Lord Timon, the States, the Athenian Lords, Ventigius which Timon redeem'd from prison. Then comes dropping after all Apemantus discontentedly like himselfe.

Ventig. Most honoured Timon,

It hath pleas'd the Gods to remember my Fathers age,

And call him to long peace:

He is gone happy, and has left me rich :

Then, as in gratefull Vertue I am bound

To your free heart, I do returne those Talents
Doubled with thankes and service, from whose helpe
I deriv'd libertie.

Tim.

O by no meanes,

Honest Ventigius: You mistake my love,

I gave

it freely ever, and ther's none

Can truely say he gives, if he receives:

If our betters play at that game, we must not dare
To imitate them: faults that are rich are faire.

Vint. A Noble spirit.

Tim. Nay my Lords, Ceremony was but devis'd at first To set a glosse on faint deeds, hollow welcomes,

Recanting goodnesse, sorry ere 'tis showne:

But where there is true friendship, there needs none.

Pray sit, more welcome are ye to my Fortunes,

1. Lord. My Lord, we alwaies have confest it.

Aper. Ho ho, confest it? Handg'd it? Have you not?
Timo. O Apermantus, you are welcome.

Aper. No: You shall not make me welcome :

I come to have thee thrust me out of doores.

Tim. Fie, th'art a churle, ye have got a humour there

Does not become a man, 'tis much too blame :
They say my Lords, Irafuror brevis est,
But yond man is verie angrie.

Go, let him have a Table by himselfe :
For he does neither affect companie,
Nor is he fit for't indeed.

Aper. Let me stay at thine apperill Timon,

I come to observe, I give thee warning on't.

Tim. I take no heede of thee: Th'art an Athenian, therefore welcome : I my selfe would have no power, prythee let my meate

make thee silent.

Aper. I scorne thy meate, 'twould choake me: for I should nere flatter thee. Oh you Gods! What a number of men eats Timon, and he sees 'em not? It greeves me to see so many dip there meate in one mans blood, and all the madnesse is, he cheeres them up too.

I wonder men dare trust themselves with men.

Me thinks they should envite them without knives,
Good for there meate, and safer for their lives.

There's much example for't, the fellow that sits next him, now
parts bread with him, pledges the breath of him in a divided
draught is the readiest man to kill him.
:
"Tas beene proved, if
I were a huge man I should feare to drinke at meales, least they
should spie my wind-pipes dangerous noates, great men should
drinke with harnesse on their throates.

Tim. My Lord in heart: and let the health go round.

2. Lord. Let it flow this way my good Lord.

Aper. Flow this way? A brave fellow. He keepes his tides well, those healths will make thee and thy state looke ill, Timon.

Heere's that which is too weake to be a sinner,
Honest water, which nere left man i'thʼmire:
This and my food are equals, there's no ods,
Feasts are to proud to give thanks to the Gods.