REALISM

WITH guileless heart and open mind,

A curious and a trusting youth,

I roamed the world and sought to find The truth.

I queried him whose pile of gold
Should give him all the forms of bliss,
And he, a trifle wistful, told
Me this:

"Though richer than an ancient king, My wealth affords me scant delight; For money isn't everything."

He's right.

And then of him whose envied name Is known wherever words are read I asked the truth concerning fame. He said:

"Fame in a single day may die. Fame in a single hour may flee. A floating bubble, Fame." . . . Well, I

Agree.

And as the Lover slipped the ring
Upon the finger of his bride,
He said, "Love isn't everything."
He lied.

FRANKLIN P. ADAMS

THE

Shakespeare in the Kitchen 'HE Curtis family, upon returning from an evening entertainment, found their eccentric old uncle seated by the log fire, reading to Dinah, the cook.

"Massa," said Dinah, "I don' un'erstan' any what yo' readin' about!"

"Why, Dinah," replied the uncle, "this is Shakespeare. It's literature. This is three hundred years old."

"All I got to say, den, is dat yo' sho hev taken good care o' dat book."

Aunt Mandy's Code

IN N Georgia they tell of the old black cook who was horrified to discover that one of the young negroes, a helper in the kitchen, had been caught stealing.

"Now," said Aunt Mandy, "I don't believe in stealin'. I never takes nothin', 'cept it's somethin' to eat, or somethin' to wear, or somethin' what I thinks de missus don't want, or somethin' de boss is got too blind to miss!"

MRS.

The Judgment of Solomon

A Tense Situation

RS. JONES found Mrs. Smith, the aviator's wife, in tears. "Whatever is the matter, my dear?" she asked, anxiously.

"I'm worrying about Harold," said Mrs. Smith. "He's been trying for a week to kill our cat, and as a last resource he took her up in his plane. He said he would take her up two thousand feet and drop her over the side."

"Well, what is there to worry about?" "Lots!" exclaimed the frantic woman. "Harold isn't home yet and the cat is."

The Weight of Flattery

"No," said the judge, "'tain't necessary-I'll give you a judgment."

Counsel sat down, while the judge with emphasis knocked the ashes from his cob pipe, and counsel for the plaintiff began:

"May it please the court-" "Squire, what are you fixin' to do?" asked the judge.

"I have the closing argument," was the reply.

"Well, you jes' as well set down. I done got my mind sot on the other side. Judgment for the defendant."

In Bad Company

sided over by a rural justice of the peace. "I realize," said the counsel for the defense, "that I stand in the presence of a descendant of the grand old Huguenot family which emigrated from France to escape from religious intolerance. Many able jurists have sprung from that family, and embellished the bench and bar of the Union. Their watchwords are honor, truth, and justice, and their names are spoken in every home. The law is so plain in this case that 'he who runs may read.' Shall I insult the intelligence of this court by reiterating a proposition so simple? Need I say more?

important measure, a Congressman who cannot be present "pairs" himself with some representative who would vote “aye" to the Congressman's "nay," or vice versa.

Once a Democratic member of the House received a letter from an active politician of that party in his district, calling attention to the fact that he was reported in the Congressional Record almost every day as being "paired" with a Republican.

"I don't doubt your loyalty to the party," read the letter, "but I think the boys would like it a good deal better if you paired with Democrats instead of Republicans."