Mr. Agamemnon Hermanus Spinosus Cadmus. Did you ever know him, Cypress ?"

"O, perfectly well," replied I, thinking to bother Ned. "He was a descendant of Longoboos, one of the sons of Atreus, whose name, by the by, I perceive, is omitted in Charles Anthon's last, otherwise unexceptionable, edition of Lempriere. He was a regularly born boy, nevertheless, and he possessed a decidedly more dignified disposition and deportment than his brothers Menelaus, and Agamemnon."

66

Many laws? d- -n him," cried Venus. "He was in favor of plenty of banks, and legislaten, I 'spose."

"Historians differ upon that point, Venus. He was a brave fellow, at all events. Lactantius records, in his 'de ira divina,' that Menelaus and Agamemnon, instead of being kings, were most distinct democrats; men who had rather eat a plain republican bowl of bread and milk with an honest farmer, than to be clothed in scarlet and fine linen, and sit within the blessed sound of the divine action of royal grinders. The other youth, on the contrary, he says, was against universal suffrage, and in favor of the doctrine that no man can love his country, or feel an interest in her welfare, unless he has got plenty of money."

"Dn him! then, 'stead o' t'other fellow," interposed the republican critic again.

"His practice," I continued, not taking notice of the interruption, "followed out his principles. He contrived to get appointed a Colonel in the militia, and then started to travel in foreign parts. He drove into Corinth a coach and six, with outriders, spending his money, all the way, with the profusion of a prince. Lais was at this time in the full blow of her glory. Cadmus bought off Alcibiades for a hundred thousand drachms, and set her up in the most magnificent

style. It was in reference to him that Diogenes, the Cynic, perpetrated that jealous snarl, 'non cuivis homini contingit adire Corinthum.'"

"Mr. Locus," said Dan, "I'm 'feard the steward's mate's taken command o' th' ship, and he's sarven out his darned Latin 'stead o' th' regler ship's allowance."

"Cypress, I've been thinking you might as well tell the story yourself. You seem to know all about it."

"No, no. I beg pardon, Ned. Go on, go on. I was only helping hoist sail, and throw off."

"Well, boys, now stop this deviltry, and I'll start. Where did I leave off, last night?”

"You stopped when you got 'sleep in Julia Kle-cre―kle

-cre-"

“Kleokatrinka's lap," finished I.

"No, that was the Siberian puppy dog," said Ned.

"What's the odds what country the puppy belonged to?" inquired Raynor, chuckling, and who knew that a fair hit was always welcome, come when, and come upon whom, it might. "It must have been yourself, Ned," said I. "You like to take your comfort—

*Theoc. In idyl. entit. "Syracusian ladies dressing to go to a blow out."-Proverbiuin est quo utitur Proxinoe de ancilla Eunoe, Gorgonem alloquens. [Eunoe was doubtless an Irish damsel. Spelt, more correctly, "You-know-her."-Noah Webster.] Doctissimus Toupius sic optime reddit the cat likes fish, but is afraid to wel her feet. "Quod sal

:

sum," inquit,—it was no joke for Ned, in this instance, and the translation is, in my opinion, absurd-et ad Eunoam referendum, hominem mollem, delicatulam, otio atque inertiæ deditam. [Epist. ad Warb. p. 33-plura vide in notas in Theoc] Mihi quidem, Hercle, non fit verisimile. Ratione multo magis prodita Thomae Little explicatio videtur

"Turn to me, love, the morning rays

Are beaming o'er thy beauteous face:"

"Raynor," sung out Ned, getting a little vexed, "I wish you would fine that young gentlemen. What was the punishment we determined to inflict upon him the next time he quoted Heathen languages wrongly, or inappositely?"

"A basket of Champagne. Shall I have to send one of the boys across to Islip, or Jim Smith's, to-morrow morning?"

"Yes, either for him or me, for I make a complaint against him. Summon the Court of Dover, strait off. Crier! Peter! call the Court!"

"It will take too long, Ned," said I. "I'll leave it to Venus and Peter. They shall be the court with full powers. Each man state his case, and we'll be bound by their judgment."

Done," answered Ned. "We'll waive the installation and ceremony of opening.-Gentlemen of the Court, we were talking of dogs; and I say that to make a quotation about cats, and apply it to the more noble canine tribe, is supremely inappropriate, not to say highly ridiculous."

“That stands to reason,—seems to me," said Venus.

Et, ut poetice illustrat scholiastes eximius Doctor Drake,

"The heart that riots in passion's dream

But feasts on his own decay,

As the snow wreath welcomes the sun's warm beam,
And smiles as it melts away."

[Fitzius Viridis Halleck comment.] "These explications like us not," say the Committee "on Greek mysteries" of the Historical Society. in their last semi-annual report, we own, most experienced and judicious gentlemen, members component of our body, who are cognizant of the nature of cats, and likewise of the best places for taking comfort. The judgment of your committee after much practice and comparison of notes, is, that the poet simply intended to say that cats love to sleep in pleasant places,' and that the most bucolical Syracusian had none other, covert or concealed phantasy." [N. Y. Hist. Soc. mem Cur. 1832.]-" De hac re dubito." [Peter.] Judge ye." [Excussoris diabolus.]

66

"Now, your Honors, the culprit whom I have charged, has bored us with a pretended illustration of his weak wit, from a dissolute pagan named Theocritus-I remember him well, for I was compelled, once on a season, to be familiar with him; and he has substituted the effeminacy of lazy cats, for the sensibly drowsiness of high-spirited, hard-working pointers. 'Faλeat' means 'cats.""

'I should think it meant 'gals' " cried out one of the boys. "Mr. Cypress, you're safe. You'll have Venus on your

side."

"Order, order in the Court," cried the crier Judge.

66

May it please your honors, that is the whole of my case, and I will conclude by expressing the most exalted confidence in the wisdom, discrimination, learning, and sense of justice of this most reverend and respectable tribunal.”

Alexander Africanus Maximus, President of " the Universal Court of Dover of the whole world,"-surnamed Aleck Niger, from his successful exploration of the sources of that black-region river, as well as of divers other more mixed fluids, -could not have made a better speech, even if he had had the immortal George, George the First in the republic, to prompt him. But I did not despair. I happened to know that it was not always rowing straight ahead that wins a race, or that talking sense and truth always gains a cause. Judges and Juries, in spite of their affectation of stern, solemn unfluctuating purpose, are like the tides. They have their currents, and eddies, and under-currents. There is a moon in law and morals, as well as a moon in physics. I blame not the tides, nor do I condemn the courts.-"I tax not you, ye elements, with injustice.”—They are both, I trust, insensible to, and innocent of, the influence which makes them swell and fall. But, as Peter once said, in one of his happy moments,

"the tides owns the moon, and men 's judges, and judges is men, and they know who can give 'en a lift best." I had been told, moreover, that many a cause was determined upon some incidental or collateral point, that had nothing to do, in realty, with the merits of the case.

"May it please the Court," I began; "or may it displease the Court, just as their omnipotence pleases." There I was one point ahead of Ned, in the Court of Dover; for that court always respects an impudent compliment, "I am accused of making an irreverend abduction from the discourses of a most exemplary fisherman."

"Fisherman!" cried both the judges simultaneously. "Was he a fisherman?"

"Most distinctly may it please the Court," I replied. "That alters the case; brother Venus, don't you think so?" said Judge Peter, turning to his learned coadjutor.

"It makes a smart deal o' difference, I sh'd say," responded the worthy associate. "But 'spose he only fished for flounders and eels, and sich; would'nt it make no odds?"

"Have my doubts, brother."

"It is false," cried Ned, hard to be restrained.

"Theocri

"Silence-silence," thundered the Judges. "The court never doubts when it's indifferent. Mr. Locus, you're fined drinks all 'round, and a paper o' tobacco, for disrespect to the joinedissued tribunals o' your country. Proceed, Mr. Cypress." "Your honors will perceive that my accuser has other objects in view than the mere unjust persecution of my humble self. But I will not refer to them. The whole case may be thus succinctly and successfully defended. I am charged with making an in-apposite quotation, contrary to the statutes of the Beach. I spoke of cats. Now, your Honors, are not