"This way," promptly replied the old lady."By shuttin' your left eye, and taken' the eend of your nose in your left hand."

"Wall, then he's marched up and down the room dressed in a red gown, looken' for the world like a witch, and after he's taken an oath, awful enough to make one's hair tew stand on eend every way, he's told to take a seat among the rest of 'em and welcomed as a Son of Temperance.

business, there is not one that holds out less en-}
couragement to clerks than the jobbing business.—
The salaries of the clerks are all that there is about
the business worth having; and the clerks, as a
class, get more than three-quarters of all the money
there is made in the business. Country boys, who
come to New-York to get situations in stores,
make very great mistakes. They had better learn
a trade, or stick to the farm. Most of them are
too proud to be tailors, or carpenters, or builders,
or printers; only a few will take a situation in a
book-store, or music-store, or furniture-store, or any
of the various manufacturing establishments about {
the city. Nothing will do but a wholesale dry-
goods store. Into these they crowd year after year
where those who are not ruined by dissipation,
waste five or six years of their lives in learning a
business, and then return to some profitable em-

"There, you see I know the hull on't and I'll
tell everybody. I won't do nothin' else; for I
think as I allers said, its heathenish, barbarous
mummery, that makes heathens and infidels of
christian men, and shud orter be put down tew
smash. How d'ye feel now Johnny, you begin to
find the old woman's 'about right, don't you," tri-
umphantly exclaimed the old lady, as she took an
enormous pinch of snuff, drew her spectacles
over her eyes and turned towards her son-in-ployment in the country, or go to California. The
young man who goes into a dry-goods store with
any other view of making money than that of say-
ing it from his salary, makes a mistake that will
cost him the best part of a life-time to get over. -
Better learn a trade, boys, a good deal. You
won't believe it now, but you will before you are
ten years older; then make a note on't.""

law.

Johnny was in a convulsion of laughter but contrived to gasp his convictions that the Order was all blown to pieces.

Mrs. Credulous believes to this day, that all this mad wag, Smith, told her is true to a letter. Nor is she alone in her strange belief. There are thousands like Mrs. Credulous, every where, whose prejudices are nursed and kept alive with nameless surmises, terrible suspicions, and outlandish stories relative to the character and "secrets" of the Order, not a whit less ridiculous, and as far removed from the truth as the veracious, developements by this good old lady.

THE VALUE OF A CLERKSHIP.

AN ORIGINAL TRICK.
THE Paris correspondent of the N. O. Picayune,
relates the following good story:

Kings and bears often worry their keepers. "He's a fool that makes his doctor his heir. "Love well, whip well.

"Hunger never saw bad bread.

"Great talkers, little doers.

"The poor have little-beggars none-the rich too much-enough, not one.

66

Mankind are very odd creatures. One half censure what they practice, and the other half prac. tice what they censure. The rest always say and do as they ought.

"Old boys have their playthings as well as young ones; the difference is only in the price."

"A new method of raising the wind was resorted to a few days since, by a couple of precious scamps, which should have succeeded if ingenuity of this kind were entitled to any reward. The sharpest Yankee would not be ashamed of the trick hit upon ONE of the editors of the Day-Book, formerly a by these Parisian gamins. About 10 o'clock in practical merchant, and one who has had some exthe morning, and tolerably chilly morning it was, perience as a merchant's clerk, reads a homily to the passers along the Quai du Marche aux Fleurs young men anxious to "get into business for them- noticed a young man, with a very melancholy and selves and become rich," well worth remembering: suicidal look, standing near one of the bridges "There are but few clerks who have any idea of alone. Suddenly he cast his eyes upward, as if the value of a clerkship in a New-York jobbing to take a last view of the skies, muttered apparenthouse. Most of them look upon it as worthless, as ly as in prayer for a moment, and then plunged INGENUITY OF THE GERMANS. far as mere salary is concerned, and content them-headlong into the river. While all stood paralyzed THE following are some of the inventions which selves with their situations only because they sup- at this rash attempt, a young man came up and have originated in Germany, and also the time pose that in a few years they will be able to get inquired, with great simplicity, what was the when they were made known :-Saw-mills in 850; into business for themselves and become rich, and matter. The individual who was floundering in sun-dials in 898; fulling-mills in 996; tillage of be, in a measure, compensated for their past serthe turbid current of the Seine, and who had just hops in 1070; wind-mills and oil paintings, in vices. There are not, probably, ten clerks in risen to the surface, was pointed out to him, when 1100; spectacles in 1270; paper of linen rags in New-York who think they are doing better on the stripping off his blouse, and ejaculating that he 1300; organs in 1312; gunpowder and cannons small salary they are receiving than they ever will would save the unfortunate or perish in the attempt in 1318; wire making in 1350; hats in 1330; do in business for themselves. And there are not he plunged in after him. The bystanders watched pins in 1379; grist-mills in 1389; wood engraten who ever will do half as well in business for with breathless anxiety as the heroic youth dove, vings in 1423; printing in 1436; printing presses themselves as they are doing with their salary. came up to the surface, and again went under in in 1439; copper-plate engraving and printing ink During the last twelve years the writer has been his endeavors to save the wretch who had attemp-in 1440; cast types in 1442; chiming of bells in acquainted with more than four hundred dry-goods ted his own destruction; and finally when nearly 1487; watches, letter posts or mails, etching, and clerks in this city; he cannot find ten of the num- all hope was lost, the crowd were rejoiced on seeing bolting apparatus, in 1500; gun-locks in 1527; ber now in successful business. One in fifty is a the suicide brought to shore with life still in him. spinning-wheels in 1535; almanacs, stoves, and fair estimate of the number of clerks that succeed Close by was a house or station, where half drown-sealing-wax, in 1546; telescopes in 1599; woodin business for themselves. A clerk who will com- ed persons are restored, and where those who res- en bellows in 1610; microscopes in 1620; ther. mence on a salary of six hundred dollars a year at cue them receive the municipal reward of twenty-mometers in 1638; mezzotint engraving in 1643; the age of twenty-one, with a merchant having a five francs. Thither the rescued and the rescuer capital of twenty thousand dollars, and save out were born by the crowd, the latter overwhelmed of his salary two hundred dollars a year, and lend with the admiration and praise which his gallantry it to his employer at seven per cent. on his note at called forth on all sides ; but unfortunately just as six months—add the interest to the principal when the demand was about to be given him, and while the note is paid-and lend it again, and so receiv- a subscription for an additional sum was being ing his interest semi-annually and reinvesting it raised, a policeman stepped up who knew them will, at the age of forty, have possessed himself of both. They were brothers, were two of the best all his employer's capital, and a large share of his swimmers in Paris, and made it a business to go profits. With the exception of the retail dry-goods about saving each others' lives for a living!"

air pumps in 1650; electric machines in 1651; pendulum clocks in 1655; clarionets in 1690; white china ware in 1706; Prussian blue in 1707; stereotyping in 1709; mercurial thermometer in 1715; piano fortes in 1717; solar microscope in 1736; the gamut in 1753; lithography in 1796.— Besides, there are several German inventions of which we cannot ascertain the date, such as doorlocks and latches, the modern screw-auger and gimlet, the cradle for harvesting, etc. Surely at

nation which has made such contributions to the interests of literature and the arts, must occupy a high rank in intellect and ingenuity.

CROSS READINGS.

A DROLL fellow, being requested by an old lady to read the newspaper, took it up and read as follows:-"Last night, yesterday morning, about two o'clock in the afternoon, before breakfast, a hungry boy about forty years old, bought a 6ip custard for a levy and threw it through a brick wall nine feet thick, and jumped over it and broke his ankle right off above the knee and fell into a dry mill-pond and was drowned. About forty years after that, on the same day, an old cat had nine turkey-gobblersthe wind blew Yankee Doodle into a frying-pan, and knocked the old Dutch churn down and killed a sow and two dead pigs at Bosting, where a deaf and dumb man was talking French to his aunt Peter!" The old lady raised up both hands and exclaimed: "Du tell!"

FALSE CHARITY.

dance, thou knight of the oar, while the resplendent
luminary of the day has withdrawn his light from
the earth, till the bright Aurora gilds the Eastern
sky with golden light, and then with thy charac-
teristic gallantry, accompany the fair and unso-
phisticated participants of thy pleasure to their
paternal mansions."

It is becoming a kind of proverb in everybody's mouth, that it is the duty of parents and teachers to make children happy. But there are two ways to give children pleasure. The one is to make them happy in the performance of duty, the other is to find out what appetites, tastes, or passions they desire to have gratified, and minister to these. When we talk about making children happy, let us understand which kind of happiness is meant.

ACCORDING to Haller, women bear hunger longer than men ; according to Plutarch, they can resist the effects of wine better; according to Unger they grow older, and are never bald; according to Pliny, they are seldom attacked by lions (on the contrary they will run after lions) and according to Gunter, they can talk a few!

A NEGRO preacher speaking from " What is man profited if he gain the whole world and lose his own soul?" mentioned, among other things, that many lost their souls by being too charitable! Seeing A MARKET man informed us, a day or two ago the congregation astonished beyond measure at his that he had some fine apples in the city market on saying, he very emphatically repeated it, and then Saturday, for which he asked only two cents the proceeded to explain his meaning. "Many peo-half peck, but there was no sale. One customer ple," said he," attend meeting, hear the sermon, and, when it is over, they proceed to divide it among the congregation-this part was for that man, and that part for that woman; such denunciations for such persons, these threats for you sinners-and so," continued the shrewd African, "they give away the whole sermon and keep none for themselves."

offered him a cent, and would take one half peck
at that price, but he grumbled very hard at the
measure given!

A FEW mornings since, an employer observing one of his workmen staggering about his work, accosted him with-" What is the matter, Sam?" "Nothing, sir, only I'm loaded." "You're dis. charged, then," was the reply. "Then of course I must go off," rejoined Sam, and away he went.

COUNTING THE LIVE STOCK. AN old farmer "out west," was in the nightly habit of counting his live stock, to see whether any had gone astray. Said he to his son, “John, "DIARREE of Physician," said old mother Frizhave you counted the hogs ?" "Yes, sir." "And, zletop, as she spelt out through her antiquated iron the cows?" "Yes sir." "And the sheep?" "Yes, rims, something about the " Diary of a Physician," sir." And the geese ?" "Yes sir." "And the tur-in a paper the other day. I should think if he keys?" "Yes sir." "Well, John, now go and wake was much of a doctor he needn't hev' that comup the old hen, and count her, then we'll go to bed!"plaint long."

FIRST LOVE.

A MOTHER admonishing her son about seven years of age, told him he should never defer till tomorrow what he could do to day. The little urchin replied, "Then, mother let's eat the remainder of

THE conversation at Holland House turned upon first love-Tom Moore compared it to a potato, "because it shoots from the eyes." "Or rather," exclaimed Byron, "because it be- the plum-pudding to-night." comes less by pairing."

LORD AVONDALE, chief Baron of the Exchequer was much given to anticipation. A lawyer, to show the evil of his anticipation, once observed in his presence" Coming through the market just now, I saw a butcher, with his knife, going to kill a calf; at that moment a child ran across him and he killed-" "Oh, my goodness!"

"VAT you makes dare ?” inquired a Dutchman of his daughter, who was being kissed by her sweetheart, very clamorously :-"Oh, not much, only courting, dat's all!" "Oh! dat's all, eh? I taught you vas vighting!"

AMONG all the pointed things of Junius, there is "He killed nothing superior to this: "Private credit is wealth -" "The child!" exclaimed his lordship.— { —public honor is security. The feather that adorns 'No, my lord, the calf, but you will always anti-the royal bird, supports its flight. Strip him of cipate." his plumage, and you fix him to the earth."

66

On the 3d inst. Wm. W. Barringer, in the 66th year of his

age.

On the 29th ult. Josephine, youngest child of John and Caroline L. Crasper, aged 1 year, 3 month and 20 days.

At Saratoga Springs, on the 23d inst. Cornelia R. widow of the late Jacob Rutzen Van Rensselaer, in the 76th year of her age.

Semi-monthly Journal, Embellished with Engravings.

W. B. STODDARD, EDITOR AND PROPRIETOR.

HUDSON, N. Y. SATURDAY, JUNE 23, 1849.

same windows-the same clapboards-the same dormant roof-the same old kitchen-the same green pasture in front—and the identical beautiful York river, stretching off with its mirrored surface in the distance. The messuage, however, have changed hands; it is now owned by a Virginia [ planter-the soil is under cultivation-the house is occupied by the overscer of the plantation, and those cows, peradventure, appertain to the diary thereof.

The articles of capitulation were arranged by Colonel Laurens and the Viscount de Noailles, commissioners on the part of General Washington, and Colonel Dundas and Major Ross, on that of Earl Cornwallis.

Caroline obeyed.
"So, ladies," he then added,
"I find you take advantage of my absence to
{ quarrel with your silly fond mother, and throw her
into those horrible squalling fits of hers. But, mark
me! I will have no one abusive in this house but
myself; and if you do not obey me, you shall rue
it. And I find, too, that instead of staying with
her, to show your penitence, you went to bed, and
let that sweet unoffending girl sit up."

on Miss Wallington's asking Caroline whether she did not mean to wear some new trimming, her aunt replied, “There is no necessity for it, as I have by to.day's post ordered her a dress exactly like your own-except that, as she is not so tall or large as you are, she is to have a flounce less, and the branches of flowers are to be smaller."

The sisters were at first silent from mortification and Caroline from pleasurable emotion; while Mrs. Norman exclaimed, "What attention and generosity!"

"Dear me, papa," cried Laura, "it was only an hysteric: there was no need to sit up, only Caroline chose to do it." Say, rather, What justice!" said Lady Wal"Caroline always chooses to do right. Come lington: "I only have remembered as I ought that hither, and give me a kiss, dear." good girl's attention to me."

"What an owl the child looks to-day!" observed The ratification of the articles of capitulation by Anne, spitefully, being piqued at her father's comthe officers of the respective armies, shows so sig.mendation of Caroline. nificantly their relative position that we here insert it:

Done at York town, in Virginia, October 19th
1781.
CORNWALLIS.
THOMAS SYMONDS.

"She only looks like one who has had no sleep, Miss Pert! And why had she not? Because she was performing the duty you neglected. Though not the handsomest, Caroline is the best girl in the world."

My dear aunt," cried Caroline, seizing her hand, and finding her power to speak return," how you overrate my little services! which, after all, arc only your due. But I never wore a dress with such pleasure as I shall wear this: I wish it was come. How I long to see it! I hope Miss Dormer will admire it, because I shall have such pleasure in saying it was my aunt's present for the occa

66

Here the two sisters forced a violent" Ha! ha!sion!" Done in the trenches before York town, in Vir-ha!" as if in derision, while Caroline was secretly ginia, October, 19th 1781.

GEORGE WASHINGTON,

Le Comte de ROCHAMBEAU,

thankful that she had already restored her mind to
its wonted state of humility on the score of her own
beauty else her cousins' remark and her uncle's
comment would have mortified her exceedingly.-
En mo nom & celui du She was also prepared for the further mortifications
Comte de GRASSE.
of which her cousins' laughter was, she knew, the
forerunner.

Le Comte de BARRAS,

The success of the siege of York town, it is gen. erally understood, decided the revolutionary war. "The infant Hercules," said Dr. Franklin," has now strangled the two serpents, that attackted him in his cradle. All the world agree that no expedition was ever better planned or better executed." For the "great glory and advantage" of the surrender of York, Washington afterward acknowledged himself chiefly indebted to the French alli

ance.

And in the proceedings of Congress upon the matter, it was, among other things, "Resolved,

that Congress cause to be erected at York town a marble column, adorned with emblems of the al

liance between the United States and France, and inscribed with a succint narrative of the events of the siege and capitulation."- -Sears' Pictorial Library.

*The armies of Cornwallis and Burgoyne.

ALES.

AFTER THE BALL;
Or, the two Sir Williams.

BY MRS. AMELIA OPIE.
[Concluded.]

THE breakfast that morning at Old Hall was much later even than usual. Caroline, on entering the room, was surprised to see her uncle there, but not surprised to behold him looking, as usual, the stern dictator; especially as the gout, she knew, was no sweetener of the temper. The sight of her, however, smoothed his perturbed brow."What! Cary up already ?" cried he: "this is a comfort I did not expect, as thou hast been up all night, child! Come hither, my girl-come, and tic this handkerchief round my foot: those clumsyfingered girls can't do it at all. I protest, there is no one in the house good for any thing but thy little self."

66

Pray what does that confounded cackle mean? for laugh it was not: explain," said Sir John, in a loud tone.

"Why, papa, there is a gentleman in the world; who, by implication, at least, thinks Cary hand. some-no less a man than our guest of last night."

"Does he?

Then he is a sensible man, and I
honor him; for handsome is that handsome does :'
and if he could only see Cary nurse me in a fit of

the gout-see how lightly she trips along the floor,
and how gently her beautiful little fingers tie on my
shoes, I should not wonder if he thought her beau-
tiful; and if he has a tendency to gout, Cary's
fortune would be made directly. What say you,
girl-could you like Sir William ?"

I think, madam, you might have consulted my sister and me, before you ordered Caroline a dress exactly like ours. You know we always dress alike; but we make a point of Caroline's dressing differently."

"Then the more shame for you, as she is your first-cousin, and moreover the child of the elder brother."

"There is no reason for you to throw that in my teeth always."

"Dear me, Anne," cried Laura, "how can you be disconcerted at Caroline's being dressed like us ? Dresses look so different on tall women to what they do on little creatures like her, that I dare say no one will see her dress is like ours; especially as it is to have a flounce less."

"True! But no: as Cary is coming out in a new character-that of a beauty-the chances are that she and her dress alone will be remarked, and we and ours utterly overlooked."

Here they attempted to laugh; while their mother, whose affection had been somewhat alienated by their undutiful behavior, enjoyed their mortification, and, telling Caroline she knew she had too much greatness of mind to be annoyed by their raillery, desired her to go with her into her apart

This unexpected question made all the blood fly from her heart to her cheeks, for she had ventured to whisper to herself that perhaps she could havement, and read one of Crabbe's Tales to her. liked Sir William, if it had been possible that he could have liked her; and Mrs. Norman, enjoying her confusion, said, " Poor Miss Cary! what a pity it is Sir William seems enamoured of Miss Dormer!"

Here a sharp twinge of the gout caused Sir John to exclaim violently, and taking Caroline's arm, he hobbled to his study and his couch.

It was now only two days to Sir William and Miss Dormer's ball, and the sisters were busily employed in making preparations. They had bespoken dresses from London, which were the objects of daily admiration. Caroline was forced to content herself with an old dress; and she virtuous. ly endeavored to hush the murmurs of her vanity, by the conviction that a dress like that of her cousins', especially as her other was still as good as new, would have been highly unbecoming her de. pendent situation.

Still, in spite of her self-discipline, she could not help being most unphilosophically delighted, when,

When Caroline appeared at dinner that day, every one observed that she looked thoughtful, and was frequently on the point of saying something; and when her aunt and cousins remarked, that they thought it strange Sir William Maberley had not called, they saw that Caroline's countenance had a peculiar expression.

"Come, Cary, out with what you wish to say; for I have watched you for some time, and I am sure you have something to communicate, but want resolution," said Sir John.

"Yes; really I wish to say something; but I am afraid you will laugh at ine, and—” "Laugh at you, Cary? Who shall dare to laugh at you in my presence, ha!"

Here he gave his daughters one of his fiercest looks, and Caroline ventured to ask, "Pray dear aunt, are you quite sure who the gentleman was that supped with us last night?"

"What fancy has she got in her head now ?" muttered Anne.