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High round his head the fragrant vapours bend, Ay
So when ten pins in dazzling order stand,
Then urged with skill, the bounding boards along
The staggering Ranks confess unknown alarms,
Each pin expiring gives his friend a hunch,
So erst two brethren climb'd the cloud-capp'd hill,
O'er Beauty's tresses next the shaver rears
Should some huge lens from northern ices hewn,
Not half so bright the encountering blaze would rise,
IMPERIAL SHAVER! on thy laurell'd brow
ON seeing Miss Sims of Covent Garden Theatre, in Fanny, in the Maid of the Mill.
From Norwood, say what Gipsy's this? Who knows?
'Tis Sims, who all excels in furtive arts, For other gipsies only steal our clothes,
This little gipsy steals our very hearts.
Dear honey, says Pat, I'm just come to town,
Quite speechless amid from the late expedition,
Says Dermot, 'Twas meant a diversion, that's all ;
For, wherever we went, we were sure to be laugh'd at.
Some they cry Ross up,
And some they cry Mossop,
Which is the best is not the contest,
But which is the worst is a toss up.
On the controversy respecting the dramatic merits of Messrs. Mossop
na no 4 www AG 31
ON THE BIRTH-DAY OF THE SCOUNDREL* WILLIAM III
Epigram, written by the celebrated Caleb Whitefoord, Esq. on Mr. Colman's dramatic piece, called The Spleen, or Islington Spa.
Round William's chair, in triple rows,
The courtiers stood to gaze,
I pray you friend, said surly John,
Wit, humour, character, and well-wrought scene;
EPIGRAM, ON SAM FOOTE.
Unless puns and bon mots with good humour you blend, Keha You may oft gain admirers, more oft lose a friend; Though our fancies, sharp Sam, are oft pleased with your wit, Lino Yet our feelings are hurt, by each "palpable hit ;"
Thus a monkey diverts by his tricks; but alas, acher sur What dire havoc he makes with our china and glass!
As souls, of late, through heaven's gate pass'd,
St. Peter, who survey'd the throng,
For here, at last, comes my Luke Long.
A CERTAIN class of the Parisians busy themselves in prying into the circumstances of Bonaparte's birth and education, in order to furnish food for scandal. A lady, wishing to mortify Madame Bonaparte, asked her whether she was fully acquainted with her husband's origin. I know, and all Europe knows, replied the Empress, that he is the son of Mars and Fortune.
The late Lord Strichen, a Judge of the Court of Session in Scotland, a very worthy man, but no conjurer, was in company, when it was observed by some one, that dull boys at school often proved very ingenious men. It is very true, said his lordship, I was a dull boy at school myself.
An officer's servant in Gloucestershire, having taken offence at something said by the clerk of the parish, thought it incumbent upon him, as a gentleman, to send the other a challenge to fight with pistols, to which the following answer was given: Abraham Amen conceiving that murder with fire arms is the exclusive privilege of men of honour, and of cavaliers, refuses to fight with the upstart Bob Bouncer, in the manner he requires; but, as, by the laws of duelling, the person challenged, has a right to choose his weapons, Abraham Amen will meet the said Bouncer, even on a Sunday, and on consecrated ground, to the praise and glory of God, with two staves.
A little girl, on hearing that her mother had lost a law suit, said, Dear mamma, I am quite glad that you have lost that plaguey suit, that used to vex you so.
In the parlour of a public house in Fleet-street, there is inscribed over the chimney-piece, the following notice: Gentlemen, learning to spell, are requested to use yesterday's paper.
DR. EGERTON, the late Bishop of Durham, on coming to that See, employed a person of the name of Due, as his agent, to discover the true value of the estates held by lease under him, and, in consequence of Due's report, greatly raised both the fines and rents of his tenants; on which account the following toast was frequently drank in that diocese: May the Lord take the Bishop, and the Devil have his Due.
A nobleman, remarkably abstemious, was chiding one of his workmen for often getting drunk. It is astonishing, said his Lordship, that all good workmen are addicted to drunkenness. Then, answered the man, your Lordship, I presume is not a good workman.
Henry IV, of France, had received notice of the conspiracy of Marshal Biron. It was observed by a nobleman, that the marshal was one of the best card players at court. He plays very well, said the King, but he makes his parties very ill.
On account of the great number of suicides lately in Dublin, an Irish member of the House of Commons, moved for leave to bring in a bill making suicide a capital offence.
The author of the tragedy of Douglas makes his hero repeat
Beneath a mountain's brow, the most remote
And inaccessible, by shepherds trod,
A hermit liv'd.
Pray, Mr. Author, by what sort of path did the shepherds reach this inaccessible mountain's brow?