bis gods; while the Mussulman leads and that the promises held out to them a listless and sensual life, lolling on had not been fulfilled, had relapsed carpets, eternally smoking, and for the into their former state. “ Why," exmost part of the day locked up in his claimed Murrane Sing (a Hindoo who baram with his women: his days pass was present, and who could read Enyon in one univaried round; there is no lish), “ do you not convert the Jews, society, no public institutions, places who live among you, know your vir of public resort or amusement; he, tues, and the excellence of your faith, like the Hindoo, goes through with zeal and whose forefathers knew of the and earnestness the formularies of his prophecies, and saw the wonders menreligion, and, like the Hindoo, he tioned in your Vedas 2" I replied, knows no one and cares for no one be- that they were a stubborn race, and yond the walls of his own barricadoed the denunciations against their race mansion. With such an example, and had been fulfilled ; and I instanced the in such a state of society, it may be occasions and times. 66 This is the supposed in whát an abject state the more in favour of my argument,” relower orders remain; they are but plied Murrane ; " for if, under the sufmere slaves to the higher ranks. In ferings they have endured, and the acthis state of degradation it is not to be complishaient of the curses threatened wondered at that their cities present an them, they still remain obstinate and uniform appearance

of

meanness, pov- sinful, how are we to be convinced, erty, and ruin. There are but two much less converted, who know nothobjects at Aurungabad that deserve a ing of these signs and wonders of which specific notice—the gardens and the you speak, and have neither had promtomb, or mausoleum of Rabea Doora- ises nor threats held out to us, except ney, reported to have been the favour- by mortals like ourselves, who may ite wife of the Emperor Aurungzebe. or may not intend well ? at least, they

CHRISTIAN CONVERSION. have nothing to show us on the contraIt was partly the topic of conversa- ry but windy words.” He then refertion among a party of eight highly re- red to Paul, who, he observed, unspectable Hindoos and Mussulmans I doubtedly was a prophet, and one met by appointment in the garden- whose mission appeared very probahouse of the venerable Shah Sāgt; the ble, had made no effect on King mildness of whose manners, and the Agrippa, who was as civilized as the total absence of all bigotry in his con- Hindoos; yet he was not to be perversation, rendered him not only a suaded, even though one of the prinpleasing, but an instructive, friend. cipal propagators of it was present be

Upon my mentioning the well-fore him: “ then how," he added, known name of Swartz, the company am I to be persuaded by those who said that no real converts had ever are neither saints nor prophets ?" been made ; that those who had pro- The conversation now reverted to fessed Christianity were men who had Catholics (Catholas), and I was asked lost their caste for crime, or some by one, possessing much information, abomination, and they were glad to why those persons who were British, become Christians; or that those who but of that faith, did not adopt the were in the very degraded ranks (the Protestant creed? I replied, that they Sudra), having nothing to lose by the were Christians, though some difference change, born polluted, and always existed in the forms of worship. Here avoided by the other ranks, would wish my theological reasoning was again set to assume another character, and that at nought. The Hindoo replied, that was always attainable by their becom- the Catholics did not permit the reading Christians; but, even with this ing of the Bible, for reasons which he wretched people, our success, dishon- well knew; that they worshipped imaourable as the converts were, was very ges, which our Scriptures forbid; that trifling; and many, finding that noth- they had pilgrimages like the Hindoos, ing was to be gained by the change, and holy water ; but, what was more

a

are

than all, they had in their history and wonders to convince us. But who mortal men, who sinfully presumed to are the persons sent out, and by whom? have performed miracles which belong. Are they men of great learning, great ed alone to the only God Bhagavān! science, and great abilities ? I have Here he drew his sleeve over his heard not; and further, that your govmouth, and made three low reveren- ernment (Sircar), and the bishops ces ; and then' exclaimed aloud, (Burra Padrees), do not generally “ Forgive me, forgive me, forgive me, support the attempted reformation. Is for the crime of repeating His holy this true, sir ?" I replied, there was name! Now, sir," said he, " which some difference of opinion existing in is best : we poor Hindoos, who trave England on the subject. Then," not been taught other things from on rejoined the Hindoo, “if that differhigh ; or your people, who have, but ence in opinion exists among Chris. still disregard them ?" Of course I tians themselves, you may be assured did not think it necessary to remind there is none with us. Our lives are him of our Lady of Loretto, and the moral, the Almighty blesses us as he liquefactions of St. Januarius' blood, does you; our Scriptures contain an nor of our burnings in Smithfield; excellent moral code, and we neither was I then informed of the mi- taught to be virtuous and good ; we racles of Prince Hohenlohe, nor had I rigidly act up to our faith, and are neiheard that the waters of the Jordan ther hypocrites, nor deceivers, nor tywere held as sacred by M. Chateau- rants; but are good men, and to you, briand as the Hindous hold those of sir, good subjects.” the Ganges. At that time, too, the The generality of missionaries sent worthy matron, Joanna Southcote, to India have not the smallest chance was unknown. I had no inclination, of success with the learned natives of either, to revert to the many gross su- India. With the Bible in his hand, perstitions prevalent in many parts of and abundance of zeal, the missionary England; of the sale of children's stalks forth into fields and villages, excauls, &c.; nor bad I the impudence pecting that his well-meaning exhortato tell him, that I could tell his charac- tions, and the pious examples he sets, ter and disposition by examining bis is to convert the heathen. Nothing skull!

can be more fallacious. They are Indeed, it was unnecessary to remind great idlers, and would, for the sake of him of our superstitions and absurdi- gossiping, of which they are immoderties; for he slily enjoined, “ Now, myately fond, run after, visit, and listen young friend, you, who are Protestants to a missionary ; but as to what they why do you not perform your wor- have heard, or what they may ship duly and zealously? The near- ceived, it has as much effect upon their est temple you have is at Bombay. mind as the passing breeze. They Your European soldiers have no spiri- are, before observed, polite tual instructor. No, sir ! I speak it in and decorous in their behaviour to humility, you care little about your strangers; they will make professions, own religion; come to India with a for they are adepts at dissimulation, box of clothes, take home box full and perfect at flattery. I have seen of money, and think you do a very a Hindoo mast' devoutly listen to a meritorious act in subscribing a few ru- discourse, beg a tract, and, on his repees to convert us, and bring us to turn to the village, leave it on the salvation, though apparently regard- threshold of the door of the temple, less of your own. " This," he con- and fall down with his forehead on the tinued, “is very pious and very gene- floor, and worship the image of that rous; but, believe me, before we give ugly fellow Ganesa ! On my expostuup the faith of our forefathers, a reli- lating once on this in propriety with a gion much older than yours, we must convert, he replied, “ “My father did you

fulfil the doctrines it inculcates, the same, and he was more prosperous and observe its ordinances; neither than I am. The hopes and promises must you wonder if we require signs held out to me by the Padree (clergy.

have re

as

see

man) have not been fulfilled; and one bability or possibility of the inferior of your Burra Sahibs (great men) has orders following, as there is of the dislately broken a commandment (allud- ciples of St. Peter at Rome giving up ing to a crim. con. just taken place, the Roman Catholic faith. Far easier happily an event of rare occurrence in would be the task of converting the India); so, why may not I? Besides multitude in England to any particular which," he added, “ Ganesa is offend- faith than the Hindoos. No people in ed with me; and I will both pray to the world have such deep-rooted and Ganesa, and listen to the Padree !" inveterate prejudices as them; and

I should consider myself guilty of never were a people, whose convergreat dissimulation and dishonour, did sion was attempted, ever attacked with I not repeat with fidelity the ideas of weaker weapons, or more unfit assailthe superior orders of the natives; for, ants, than those employed at the pretill those persons are perfectly and rado sent day. ically converted, there is as little pro

Was feebler than his bier.

But undermines it here.

VARIETIES.
Original Anecdotes, Literary News, Chit Chat, Incidents, &c.
Maxims of Sir Morgan ODoherty. Whig and D. D. Bishop Hoadley was,
EPITAPHS.

in this doctor's opinion, an beretical We moderns are perhaps inferior to scribe, and his monument encroached our ancestors in nothing more than too much on one of the great pillars of in our epitaphs. The rules, neverthe- the Cathedral. less, for making a good epitaph, are exceedingly simple. You should stu

“ Here lying Hoadley lies, whose book dy a concise, brief, and piquant dic

Alive, the Church he fain bad sbook, tion; you should state distinctly the most remarkable points in the character and history of the defunct, avoid

ROASTING. ing, of course, the error into which

Of late they have got into a trick of Pope so often fell, of omitting the name

serving up a roasted pig without his of the individual in your verses,

and

usual concomitants. I hate the innoleaving it to be tagged to the tail or be vating spirit of this age ; it is my aver

A. ginning of the piece, with a separate

sion, and will undo the country.

ways let him appear erect on his four

" , there should be, if possible, some in- legs, with a leinon in his mouth, a sprig provement of the subject--some moral

of parsley in his ear, his trotters bedded or religious or patriotic maxim,

on a lair of sage. One likes to see a pig which the passenger carries with him, board of a Swift, a Pope, an Arbuth

appear just as he used to do upon the and forgets not. I venture to present,

not. Take as a happy specimen, the following,

the customs of a

away which is taken from a tomb-stone in people, and their identity is destroyed. Winchester church-yard, and which TRUTH LIES AT THE SURFACE." tradition ascribes to a late venerable There is not a truer saying in this prelate of that see, Dr. Hoadley :- world, than that truth lies on the sur“ Private John Thoms lies buried here,

face of things. The adage about its Who died of drinking cold small beer:

lying in a well was invented by some Good Christian! drink no beer at all,

solemn old ass, some

passymeasures Or, if you will drink beer, don't drink it small."

pagan,” as Sir Toby Belch calls him, Nothing can exceed the nervous who was ambitious of being thought pith and fine tone of this, both in the deep, while, in point of fact, he was narrative and the didactic parts. It is only muddy. Nothing that is worth really a gem, and confers honour on the having or knowing, is recondite or diffiBishop-on whom, by the way, a cle- cult to be discovered. Go into a ballver enough little epitaph was written room, and your eye will in three sec. shortly after his death by a brother onds light (and fix) on the beauty. Ask

the stapidest host in the world to bring

FASHION you the best thing he has in his house, The King,if Sir Thomas Lawrence's and he will, without doubt, set a bottle last and best picture of him may be beof claret forthwith on your table. Ask lieved, wears, when dressed for dinner, the most perfect goose of a bookseller a very short blue surtout, trimmed who is the first poet in the world, and with a little tür, and embroidered in he will name Shakspeare. I have black silk upon the breast, and all never been able to understand the ad- about the button holes, &c.—black vantage of hard study, deep resear- breeches and stockings, and a black ches, learned investigations, &c. &c. stock. I wish to call general attention Is there any really good author lying to this, in the hopes of seeing his Maconcealed anywhere among the litter jesty's example speedily and extensiveof lumber ransacked only by the fin- ly adopted. The modern coat is the gers of the Bibliomaniacs ? Is there part of our usual dress, which has al, anything equal to punch, with which ways given most disgust to the eye of the drinking public in general remains people of taste; and I am, therefore, unacquainted ? I think not. I there- exceedingly happy to think, that there fore take things easy.

is now a probability of its being entireDRAM-DRINKING.

ly exploded. The white neckcloth is There are two kinds of drinking another abomination, and it also must which I disapprove of I mean dram- be dismissed. A blue surtout, and drinking, and port-drinking. I talk of blue trowsers richly embroidered down the drinking of these things in great the seams, form the handomest dress quantities, and habitually. I have which any man can wear within the many reasons that I could render for limits of European costume. the disgust that is in me, but I shall be

SMOKING. contented with one. These potables Mediocrity is always disgusting, extaken in this way, fatally injure a man's cept, perhaps, mediocrity of stature in personal appearance. The drinker of a

woman. Give me the Paradise drams becomes either a pale, shivering, Lost, the Faerie Queen, the Vanity of blue-and-yellow-looking, lank-chopped, Human Wishes, that I may feel myself miserable, skinny animal, or his eyes elevated and ennobled; give me Enand cheeks are stained with a dry, dymion, or the Flood of Thessaly, or fiery, dusky red, than which few things Pye's Alfred, that I may be tickled and

I can be more disgusting to any woman amused. But on no account give me of real sensibility, and true feminine an eminently respectable poem of the delicacy of character. The port- Beattie or Campbell class, for that drinkers, on the other hand, get blowsy merely sets one to sleep.. In like fashabout the chops, have trumpets of no-, ion, give me, if you wish to make me ses, covered with carbuncles, and ac- feel in the heaven of heavens, a hookat. quire a muddy look about the eyes. There is no question that this is the As for dram-drinking, I thing nobody Paradise Gained of the smoker.-But, ought to indulge in it except a man if you cannot give me that, give me a under sentence of death, who wishes segar : with which whoso is not conto make the very most of his time, and tented deserves to inhale sixteen pipes who knows that, let him live never so of assasætida per diem in secula secuquietly, his complexion will inevitably lorum. What I set ny face against is be quite spoilt in the course of the the vile mediocrity of a pipe, properly week.-Blackwood.

so called. No pipe is cleanly but the In helping a lady to wine, always common Dutch clay, and that is a fill the glass to the very brim; for cus- great recommendation, I admit; but tom prevents them from taking many there is something so hideously abglasses at a time; and I have seen surd in the appearance of a man with cross looks when the rule has been a clay pipe in his inouth, that I rather neglected by young and inexperienced wonder anybody can have courage to dandies.- 1b.

present himself in such a position.

a

The whole tribe of meerschaums, &c. of refined mechanism, the lip of man; are filthiness itself. These get saturat- whereas, if you are to go to work ed with the odious oil of the plant, and upon a piece of silver, ivory, horn, are, in fact, poisonous. The only way wood, or whatever these concerns are in which you can have a pipe at once made of, you lose the whole of this, gay-looking and cleanly, is to have a and, indeed, you may as well take a glass tube within it, which can be pipe at once. washed with water immediately after use ; but then the glass gets infernally A DEED DONE HAS AN END." hot. On the whole, unless you be a

Italian proverb. grandee, and can afford to have a ser- This is one instance, among many vant expressly devoted to the manage- in Italian history, of the great influment of your smoking concerns, in ence of proverbs in the affairs of that which case a hookah is due to yourself, people. The two families of the the best way is to have nothing but Amadei and the Uberti, from a dread segars.--Blackw,

of the consequences, long suspended SEGARS.

the revenge they meditated on the The Havana segar is unquestiona- younger Buondelmonte, for the affront bly at the head. You know it by the he had put upon them in breaking off peculiar beauty of the firm, brown, his match with a young lady of their smooth, delicately-textured, and soft family, and marrying another. At leaf, and, if you have anything of a length Moscha Lamberti

, suddenly nose, you can never be deceived as to rising, exclaimed, in two proverbs, its odour, for it is a perfect bouquét. that “Those who considered every The Chinese cheroots are the next in thing would never conclude on any order; but the devil of it is, that one thing ! closing with the proverbial can seldom get them, and then they saying-Cosa fatta capo ha! “ are almost always dry beyond redemp- deed done has an end !” This sealed tion. The best Chinese cheroots have the fatal determination, and was long a delicate greyish tinge; and, if they held in fatal remembrance by the are not complete sticks, put them into Tuscans, as the cause and beginning an air-tight vessel with a few slices of of the bloody factions of the Guelphs good juicy nielon, and, in the course and the Ghibbellins. Danté has imof a few hours, they will extract some mortalized the energetic expression in humidity from their neighbours. Some a scene of the Inferno: people use a sliced apple, others a carrot, either of which may do when Maim'd of each band, uplifted in the gloom a melon is not to be had, but that is The bleeding stumps, that they, with gory spots, the real article, when attainable. As Sullied his face, and cried—“ Remember thee to all the plans of moistening segars Of Moscha too-1 who, alas ! exclaim'd, by means of tea-leaves, rum-grog,

&c.

“The deed once done, there is an end'—that provid

A seed of sorrow to the Tuscan's race.” they are utterly absurd, and no true smoker ever thinks of them. Manilla Milton, too, adopted this celebrated segars occupy the third station in my Italian proverb ; when deeply engagesteem, but their enormous size rendered in writing “ The Defence of the them inconvenient. One hates being People,” and warned that it might terseen sucking away at a thing like a minate in his blindness, he resolutely walking-cane.

concluded his work, exclaiming, alNo real smoker uses any of these though the fatal prognostication had little knick-knackeries they sell under been accomplished, Cosa fatta capo the name of segar-tubes, and the like ha! of that. The chief merit of the thing JUST AS IT FALLS, QUOTH THE WOOER is the extreme gentleness and delicacy

-Scotch with which the smoke is drawn out of Kelly gives a ludicrous account of the leaf by the loving and animated con- the origin of this saying. A courtier tact, and eternally varying play and went to woo a maid ; she was dressing pressure of that most wonderful piece supper with a drop at her nose ; she

a

Then one

TO THE MAID.