ON THE LAW..

UNHAPPY Chremes, neighbour to a peer,
Kept half his sheep, and fatted half his deer;
Each day his gates thrown down, his fences broke,
And injur'd still the more, the more he spoke;
At last, resolv'd his potent foe to awe,
And guard his right by Statute and by Law;
A suit in Chancery the wretch begun,

Nine happy Terms through bill and answer run,
Obtain'd his cause-had costs-and was undone.

FROM THE LATIN.

UNHAPPY, Dido, was thy fate,

In first and second wedded state!
One husband caus'd thy flight by dying,
Thy death the other caus'd by flying.

THE LOVER'S LEGACY.

UNHAPPY Strephon, dead and cold,
His heart was from his bosom rent,
Embalmed, and in a box of gold,

To his beloved Kitty sent.

Some ladies might, perhaps, have fainted,
But Kitty sinil'd upon the bauble:

A pin-cushion, said she, I wanted,
Go put it on the dressing-table.

1 T

BETTER FED THAN TAUGHT. UPON some hasty errand Tom was sent, And met his parish curate as he went, But just like what he was, a sorry clown, It seems he pass'd him with a cover'd crown. The gownsman stopp'd, and turning, sternly said"I doubt, my lad, you're far worse taught than fed!" Why, aye,' says Tom, still jogging on, that's true: Thank God! he feeds me, but I'm taught by you.'

A MARRIAGE

DE

MS OF AGE.

VAIN are the charms of white and red,
Which divide the blooming fair;

Give me the nymph whose snow is spread,
Not o'er her face, but hair.

Of smoother cheeks the winning grace,
As open forces, I defy;
But in the wrinkles of her face,
Cupid does in ambush lie.

If naked eyes set hearts on blaze,
And am'rous warmth inspire;
Thro' glass, who darts her pointed rays,
Lights up a fiercer fire.

Nor rivals, nor the train of years,
Disturb my peace, or bliss destroys;
Alive, she gives no jealous fears,
And Dead, she crowns my joys.

TO THE DUKE DE NOAILLES.

VAIN the concern which you express,
That, uncall'd, Alard will possess

Your house and coach, both day and night; And that Mackbeth was haunted less

By Banquo's restless spright.

With fifteen thousand pounds a year,
Do you complain, you cannot bear
An ill, you may so soon retrieve!
Good Alard, faith, is modester
By much, than you believe.

Lend him but fifty Louis d'or,
And you shall never see him more:

Take the advice; Probatum est,
Why do the gods indulge our store,
But to secure our rest?

TO VALGIAW.

REFUSING TO SUP WITH ME.
VALGIUS, the gen'rous, and the wise,
If ask'd to sup with me, denies ;

"He can't, in conscience, sup or dine,
With one whose income's small as mine."
Ye pow'rs! believe me when I vow
I never wish'd for wealth till now;
"Tis death to want the means to spend,
But, oh! 'tis more to want a friend.

THE UNIVERSAL DEVOTION. VARIOUS religions various tenets hold, But all one God acknowledge-namely, gold.

WORM LOZENGES.

VASUS, advanc'd on high, proclaims his skill
By cakes of wondrous force the worms to kill.
A scornful ear the wiser sort impart,
And laugh at Vasus's pretended art.
But well can Vasus what he boasts perform,
For man, as Job has told us, is a worm.

VENUS JEALOUS.

VENUS call'd Cupid t'other day;
(Her rage she could no longer smother)
With Chloe always must you stay?
Where is your duty to your mother!

On her, incessant, you attend:
Is not this, sirrah, very fine?
And now to her all hearts must bend;
Nor pay one vow at Venus shrine.

Vain fears, mamma! the urchin cry'd;
You still shall reign o'er gods, and Jove;

Chloe to limits strict is ty'd;

She rules below; but you above.

VENUS OUT-RIVALLED.

VENUS contending for the golden ball,
Us'd Helen's charms to bribe her judge withal;
Had she been blest with Dillon's brighter eyes,
Unborrow'd beauty would have gain'd the prize.

ON VENUS,

SEEN IN THE SOLAR ECLIPSE, 1715. VENUS, dallying with Mars, as goes the old story, Requested the sun to abandon his glory;

'Tis done, but, fair goddess, you're never the nearer; Where next will you hide, when the shade shews you clearer?

THE LADY'S OFFERING OF HER LOOKING GLASS TO VENUS.

VENUS, take my votive glass:

Since I am not what I was,

What, from this day, I shall be,

Venus, let me never see.

THE PAINTER DECEIVED.

VERY nicely thou lay'st on thy colours, dear Nan,
And no painter in skill can o'ertop ye;

When to Ellys you sat, he dully brush'd on,
Till he thought he had an Original drawn,
Which you prov'd to be only a Copy.

ON A FEMALE, WASP.

VESPA has such a captious sense,
At every word she takes offence;
But what more lamentable makes it,
Gives it still oftener than she takes it.

ON, POET AND CUTLER.

VULCAN, they say, made mighty arms for Mars, (Cuckolds are kind) but he ne'er made a verse:

Apollo he made verses, but in's life

I never heard that e'er he made a knife.

Now does all that both these gods could do, Hammers out verses, and hard iron too.

ON TWO BROTHERS WHO CONVERTED
EACH OTHER.

WAR, more inflam'd than civil discord's rage,
Religious war, two zealous brothers wage.
This for the faith of Protestants contends;
A Papist that the Church of Rome defends.
Each rais'd his force, each match'd his foe so well,"
Alike both champions fought, alike they fell.
What both desir'd, his brother each subdues;
What fate decreed, their faith both brothers lose.
No cause of triumph, either side could boast,
Each victor yields, and takes his captive's post.
Strange war! where both, as vanquish'd, are content,
And both, as conq'ring, their success lament.

THE PRISONERS.

WE all are innocent, the Prisoners cry;
Believe us: none here willingly would lie.

WOMEN'S FAULTS.

WE men have many faults;

Poor women have but two :There's nothing good they say; There's nothing good they do.

THE EXCHANGE OF HEARTS.
WE pledg'd our hearts, my love and I,
I in my arms the maiden clasping;

I could not guess the reason why,

But, oh! I trembled like an aspen.