ON THE

BURSER OF ST. JOHN'S COLLEGE, OXFORD,

CUTTING DOWN A FINE ROW OF TREES.
INDULGENT nature to each kind bestows
A secret instinct to discern its foes:
The goose, a silly bird, avoids the fox;

Lambs fly from wolves; and sailors steer from rocks.
A rogue the gallows, as his fate, foresees,
And bears the like antipathy to Trees.

THE PRUDENT LOVER.

INFLAM'D with Chloe's marketable charms,
Strephon, by bond, secur'd her to his arms:
Then, growing wiser, as he grew less fond,
Espous'd the lady to secure the bond.
Now all the witlings of the turf alledge,
Strephon's was not a wedding, but a hedge.

ON A MISER..

IRON was his chest,

Iron was his door,

His hand was iron,

His heart was more.

TRUE RICHES.

IRUS, tho' wanting gold and lands,
Lives cheerful, easy, and content;
Corvus, unblest, with twenty hands
Employ'd to count his yearly rent.
Sages of Lombard tell me which
Of these you think possesses more!
One with his poverty is rich,

And one with all his wealth is poor

TO A LADY,

WHO TURNED HER CHEEK TO HIM WHEN

HE WENT TO KISS HER.

IS'T for a grace, or is't for some dislike,

That, when I'd kiss your lips, you turn your cheek? Some think this carriage rude in your behaviour, But I should rather think it for a favour.

For I, to show my kindness and my love,

Would leave both lip and cheek, to kiss your glove: And, with the cause to make you full acquainted, Your glove's perfum'd, your lips and cheeks are painted.

THE PRIESTLY JONAS.

IT blew a hard storm, and in utmost confusion,
The sailors all hurried to get absolution;

Which done, and the weight of the sins they'd con

fess'd;

Transferr'd, as they thought, from themselves to the

priest,

To lighten the ship, and conclude their devotion, They toss'd the poor parson souse into the ocean.

CONTENT.

IT is not youth can give content,

Nor is it wealth's decree; It is a gift from heav'n sent,

Tho' not to thee or me.

It is not in the monarch's crown,
Tho' he'd give millions for't:
It dwells not in his lordship's frown,
Or waits on him to court.

It is not in a coach and six,
It is not in a garter;
"Tis not in love or politics,-

But 'tis in Hodge, the carter.

ON LORD COBHAM'S GARDENS.

IT puzzles much the sages' brains,
Where Eden stood of yore;
Some place it in Arabia's plains,
Some say it is no more.

But Cobham can these tales confute,
As all the curious know;

For he has prov'd, beyond dispute,

That paradise is Stow.

LOSS AND NO LOSS.

"I'VE heard your loss, your wife is dead," Consoling Tom to Richard said.

"My wife is dead," cries Dick, "I own, "But for the loss, I know of none."

PROFIT AND LOSS.

I'VE lost my mistress, horse, and wife;
But when I think on human life,

I'm glad it is no worse:

My wife was ugly and a scold;
My Chloe was grown lean and old-
I'm sorry for my horse!

TO LESBIA..

I'VE oft been told by learned friars,
That wishing and the crime are one;
And that the Gods record desires,
As much as if the deed were done.

If wishing damns us, you and I

Are damn'd to all our hearts' content;

Come then, my love, let us enjoy

Some pleasure for our punishment!

TO A WRITER OF VERSES.

I'VE read your first poetic scroll,
And on it have my judgment past.-
"Well, tell me friend?"-Upon my soul
I think it should have been your last.

THINK AGAIN.

"I'VE seen your verses," Smatter cries,
"And duller stuff I never read!"
Are you quite sure,' the bard replies,
No fault was in my reader's head?"

THE SECOND SAMPSON.
JACK, eating rotten cheese, did say,
"Like Sampson, I my thousands slay:"
I vow,' quoth Roger, so you do,
And with the self-same weapon too."

SELF SATISFACTION.

JACK his own merit sees. This gives him pride, And he sees more than all the world beside.

THE WILL.

JERRY dying intestate, his relatives claim'd, Whilst his widow most vilely his memory defamed. "What," cries she, " must I suffer because the old

knave,

"Without leaving a will, is laid snug in his grave?" That's no wonder,' says one, for 'tis very well

known,

'Since he married, poor man, he'd no will of his own."

AN UNINTENTIONAL TRUTH.

JOAN vows, to hearten timorous youth,
-She ne'er saw ghost, nor thing uncivil,
Worse than herself-tho' once in truth

Joan really thinks she saw the Devil.

ON THE DEATH OF DRYDEN.
JOHN Dryden enemies had three,
Sir Dick, Old Nick, and Jeremy.
The doughty knight was fore'd to yield,
The other two have kept the field:
But had his life been something holier,
He'd foil'd the Devil and the Collier.

• Jeremy Collier.

THE SELF-APPLAUDER.

JOHN puffs himself.-Forbear to chide

An insect vile and mean,

Must, well he knows, be magnified,
Before it can be seen.

ON A RUINED HORSE RACER.
JOHN ran so long, and ran so fast,
No wonder he ran out at last;
He ran in debt; and then, to pay,
He distanc'd all-and ran away.

THE CLOWN'S REPLY.

JOHN Trott was desired, by two witty peers, To tell them the reason why asses had ears. "An't please you," quoth John, " I'm not given to letters,

"Nor dare I pretend to know more than my betters: "Howe'er, from this time I shall ne'er see your

Graces,

"As I hope to be sav'd! without thinking of asses."

ON THE CIVIL WARS BETWEEN POMPEY AND CESAR.

IMITATED FROM PLUTARCH.

JOVE, Neptunc, Pluto, when they did agree
To share betwixt them Heaven, Hell, and Sea;
Three Gods contentedly possessed then

That world, which now cannot suffice two Men.